11/8/09

Dinosaurus!

(mini-review)

Dinosaurus! was produced by the same creative team that engendered The Blob and 4D Man, a b-cupcake that I hope to review soon. It goes without saying that this creature feature is teeming with stop-motion animation, so it's bound to be entertaining, right? Not so fast. Dinosaurus! is plagued by an insufferable cast, slapdash effects and one of the most galling child "actors" I've ever encountered. We meet a Mexican kid named Julio who befriends a caveman who has been thawed out and awakened from a refrigerated slumber. Two dinosaurs have also been defrosted. A vicious T-Rex and an affable Brontosaurus run loose, causing stereotypical islanders to make themselves scarce.

When I say stereotypical, I mean stereotypical. This film is a product of its time, and its depiction of foreigners is a proverbial culture shock. I don't want to use the word "racist," but man, this is one racist movie! All Mexicans are sweaty salsa dancers, all white men are chiseled heroes, all Irish men are ginger tosspots, and all African-Americans slave away out in the fields. I didn't give a piece of damn about any of the characters. I don't need character development from a cult classic, but I need to like someone. The dinosaurs aren't much better. All of the models were hastily thrown together because the effects technicians were given half the time to prepare than what they were promised.

I got a few smirks out of this unruly jollification. The climax is fun and the heroine is crazy hot. But y'know, there are so many superior dino-pics to choose from, that I can't recommend Dinosaurus! for any occasion whatsoever. Even King Dinosaur would be a better choice for a party atmosphere. Robert Z'Dar says, "Fuck off, Julio!"

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