Today, I bring you one of the most scientifically sound wrestling matches of all time...The Ultimate Warrior vs. Brian Knobbs! This stiff contest took place shortly after Warrior's first "return." He was locked in a feud with Papa Shango, an unsung monster heel who would later become The Godfather. After the match, Shango places a curse on Warrior. Gasp in horror as a closet homosexual (those are the rumors anyway) with a Sammy Hagar haircut writhes in agony next to a paint-smeared ring apron.
In the weeks ahead, Warrior would be stricken with vomiting spells while in the grip of Shango's voodoo hex. And you mean to tell me that this program was a failure?
5 days ago