5/31/25

Blood Capsule #298

DESERT SHADOWS (2022)

In my review of Witchboard 2: The Devil's Doorway (I promise this is relevant), I made a random David Coverdale joke.  Never in my weirdest dreams did I think that I would one day encounter a monster movie that credited Coverdale as a voice actor, but here we are.  I swear to God.  After doing some lightweight legwork, I found out that director Tyler Bourns manned the camera for a handful of Whitesnake videos.  I can't even.  Here, Coverdale is responsible for high-pitched creature shrieks, but you would never know it was him.  Why was he hired???  I've heard of filmmakers creating roles with certain actors in mind.  That happens.  This...this doesn't happen.  But what do we make of Desert Shadows, you may ask?  At the risk of sounding sentimental, I took a gamble on this flick in the spirit of nostalgia.  Y'know, back in the day, it was common to rent something just because it had a cool cover.  I didn't have to spend four dollars on this b-debris (thank you, Tubi), so I'd say I came out on top.

Donnie's brother is snatched by a quadrupedal demon in the middle of the desert.  What is this fiend, and what does a demure college professor know about it?  The professor is played by Mitch Pileggi, which will intrigue fans of The X-Files.  I'm one of those fans, and I'll admit that he adds a touch of class to the cast.  He's basically in Skinner mode, only a tad more hostile.  I'm resisting the urge to spoil story beats.  The film gets a respectable amount of mileage out of very little, and no, we don't see much of the actual monster.  The ending is exceedingly underwhelming.  On the upside, there is plenty of pointless nudity.  How pointless?  It's on the same wavelength as the inclusion of David Coverdale, if that tells you anything.  Decent gore effects nudge Desert Shadows into 3-Z'Dar territory.  Recommended to fans of the high note in "Here I Go Again."



5/29/25

Selling comics on eBay...


Click HERE, yo.  This is a trial run.  If these books sell, I will probably sell more comics in the future.  I have a metric ton of horror titles and I need to make room for...um, more.

5/27/25

Blood Capsule #297

REVENGE OF THE STEPFORD WIVES (1980)

We may as well end Random Sequel Month (part two) with a made-for-TV flick.  A couple of weeks back, I decided to sit down with 1975's The Stepford Wives, which I had never seen.  I was honestly impressed.  It's a dour quasi-mystery with staid 70's sensibilities all over the place.  I lucked into a copy of Revenge of the Stepford Wives, and considering the hooky concept, I figured this would be a trite retelling of the original.  I was right.  And wrong.  The plot is familiar in that there are plenty of creepy housewives who are way too invested in household appliances, but the facade of the town is at least punctured in a different way.  A reporter checks into a motel with the assignment of doing a story on the idyllic Stepford.  We know what she's going to find, and that's okay.  Sharon Gless is agreeable as our journalist-turned-gumshoe.  She befriends an amiable gal who is new to Stepford herself.  The gal is played by Julie Kavner.

Does that name ring a bell?  The whole time I was watching, I kept thinking that I recognized her voice.  Turns out, she's Marge Simpson.  D'oh!  Again, expectations are subverted, as director Robert Fuest manages to wring some suspense out of a vanilla set-up.  Speaking of vanilla, Revenge looks like a made-for-TV movie.  Eh, it is what it is.  That's true, y'know.  It is what it is, and you can't tell me it isn't.  Random trivia!  Two more sequels followed.  That isn't really trivia, but it was trivial enough to mention.  It's no surprise that Fuest pulled convincing performances out of his actors.  He wrangled Vincent Price for both of the Dr. Phibes films.  This is a solid escapade if you don't need bells and whistles with your spooky entertainment.  That does it for me.  I'm worn to a frazzle on account of shepherding a sequel to Random Sequel Month.  You'll have to tune in to find out if I make this a trilogy.



5/26/25

Happy Memorial Day?


How hot is Stephanie Vaquer???  Don't spoil NXT's PLE from yesterday for me.  I plan on watching it this evening.  There has been a ton of wrestling to watch lately.  You may have noticed a slight dip of wrestling content on ye olde site in the past month or so.  That's halfway intentional, as I wanted to concentrate more on movies and music.  Which brings me to my next point of interest...Random Sequel Month is almost over.  I have an idea for another "theme" month, but I'm not ready to announce it yet.  Stay tuned!

5/24/25

Blood Capsule #296

THE FLY II (1989)

That damn dog scene.  Man, it's even worse when you know it's coming up and you just dread it.  No amount of mental fast-forwarding will prepare you for that level of second-hand suffering, but once you get past the discomfort (it sounds like I'm describing a date with me), there is an above-average sci-fi/horror treat to watch.  It may be an unwritten law that you're supposed to prefer David Cronenberg's The Fly to its inferior sequel, but I think I enjoy them both equitably.  Of course, I'm not going to go out on a (phantom) limb and say that it's the better product.  It's probably not.  But!  The payoff is so rewarding.  Before we get there, allow me to bring you up to speed.  Veronica (Geena Davis in the first film) dies giving birth to a cocoon named Martin.  The Brundlekin is raised in a laboratory setting.  He ages rapidly, and by the time he's five, he looks old enough to drink.  He resents his clinically monitored lifestyle, so for his birthday, his father figure gifts him an apartment.

It's not the apartment that Martin wanted; it's the privacy.  And for awhile, it seems that his wish has been granted.  The viewer knows better, though.  Whether or not you have a nefarious corporation on your bingo card, Martin is about to add "thorax day" to his workout regimen.  I mentioned the payoff earlier.  A little past the hour mark, The Fly II hits the gonzo button and becomes a gooey nightmare that revels in its practical special effects.  It might be gorier than its predecessor, and if what I'm reading is true (as we all know, there is no reason to doubt the Internet), the studio wasn't forced to make egregious cuts to avoid an X rating.  Eric Stoltz is affable as Martin.  Daphne Zuniga fares well as the cute girlfriend.  I didn't notice the fact that the running time sailed past 100 minutes, so that's another check in the "pro" column.  Yeah, I'd call The Fly II a rousing success.  Recommended for fans of maggots and mandibles.



5/22/25

Gruesome!


So Gruesome is gearing up to release a new album.  Hopefully, you already know this, but Gruesome is a "Death worship" band featuring Matt Harvey of Exhumed fame.  For the most part, their music has been written in the style of early Death, which means that for Silent Echoes, they're up to Human.  I'm wondering if they will also attempt to mimic Symbolic and The Sound of Perseverance.  That would rule.  I get that the appeal of these types of acts is limited, but what's the difference between Gruesome doing what they do and some other band simply ripping off Death?  I'll tell you; the difference is that Gruesome is being honest about it.  Besides, Chuck Schuldiner was taken from us waaaaay too soon.  More metal in the vein of Death - from any era - can't be a bad thing.  It just can't.

5/21/25

Blood Capsule #295

SPECIES II (1998)

Has it been seven years since I reviewed Species already?  I can't stand reading my old reviews, but I'm assuming that I spoke highly of it.  It was made during a magical time called the "mid-90's."  I keep threatening to write a book about my favorite decade, and maybe one day, I will.  There was a juncture where big-budget b-movies were squirming their way into wide theatrical releases.  This flick was the last of its kind (for awhile anyway).  Speaking of budgets, Species II commanded expenses north of $35 million, the same amount of money that was spent on Species.  Unlike its predecessor, however, it didn't recoup that money.  Horror was booming at the time, but moviegoers were more interested in killers wearing masks.  Of course, Teenaged Dom had fun with this sci-fi/horror mongrel, and I'm happy to report that for the most part, the years have been kind to Sil/Eve.

Astronauts have returned from Mars.  Unfortunately, they have brought something back with them, something with tentacles.  In terms of monsters, Species II is a double whammy, as Eve (Sil's clone) sees her vitals go haywire when she is clairvoyantly connected to Patrick.  I must admit, I dug the design of our male counterpart, even if the CGI is erratic.  The R rating is pushed to its limits.  Species II outstrips the original where blood and boobs are concerned...quite literally!  It's hard not to be entertained by the sheer audacity of it all.  On the downside, the film is visually plain.  And we don't have many core protagonists to anchor the conflict.  Michael Madsen practically sleepwalks through this thing, although you can't blame him.  I could have used more Natasha Henstridge.  As a general rule, I could always use more Natasha Henstridge.  Two sequels followed, both premiering on television.  I don't comprehend MGM's intentions here.  I mean, why bother?

Recommended to fans of Phantoms, The Faculty, and Ghosts of Mars.  Because Natasha Henstridge.



5/20/25

My thoughts on Final Destination: Bloodlines...


So that was really, really good.  I must confess, I'm not a die-hard fan of this series.  I recently reviewed (and quite liked) the original, but aside from having a thing for A.J. Cook, I could take or leave the sequels.  I don't even think I bothered watching 2011's Final Destination 5.  It is with some consternation then that I hereby decree Bloodlines to be the best of the bunch.  If you're only watching for brutal gore, which I completely understand, it definitely ups the ante.  I mean, it drives the ante into your skull and splits your spinal column into two distinct pieces.  And then it sets the ante on fire.  Seriously, the death sequences are...advanced?  At one point, a couple of characters in the film are seen enjoying a game of Mortal Kombat.  Yeah, that's appropriate.  I almost expected to see the word "FATALITY" pop up on-screen after the bit with the garbage truck.  Sweet Lord.

I realize that I'm only talking about the, um, finality of Bloodlines, but everything else is up to snuff.  I dug most of the cast, even if one or two of the side players came off as cursory.  That's bound to happen with these flicks.  Can I just say that Tony Todd's scene is incredible?  Geez.  I don't have many heartstrings to pull, but I don't mind sharing that I very nearly choked up.  Okay, I did choke up.  On the whole, I had a blast with Final Destination: Bloodlines.  My only real complaint is cosmetic.  No opening titles?  That's a modern trend I could do without.  Destiny prevails, I suppose.

5/19/25

How does one revive Tehom?


So check this out...Eleventh Ray features members of Serpent Noir, a Greek black metal band that I've been digging lately.  Reviving Tehom is their full-length debut, and it's very heady, atmospheric stuff.  The promo blurb mentions that the music is "rooted in Typhonian alchemy," if that tells you anything.  I'm hearing shades of early Celtic Frost, especially in the gnarled vocals.  Production is raw, but it's raw in a professional sense.  The riffs have some oomph to them.  This isn't a paid advertisement, by the way.  I just felt like sharing with the class.

5/17/25

Blood Capsule #294

SCARS OF DRACULA (1970)

I knew I wanted to review one of Hammer's Dracula romps for Random Sequel Month, but which one?  With the help of a blindfold, I landed on Scars of Dracula, the sixth entry.  To be honest, I couldn't remember if I had seen it or not.  I knew that I loved Taste the Blood of Dracula.  This was a bit of a crapshoot.  As for how much crap was shot, this turned out to be a rudimentary affair.  It was Hammer's last stab at a Dracula film with Gothic trappings.  A few months back, I was reading an antiquated genre magazine (it might have been Marvel's Monster Madness), and I had to laugh at Christopher Lee's terse comments on playing the Count.  Poor Hammer was trying to promote these pictures, but Lee wasn't having any of it.  Certainly, by Scars, he was absolutely sick of the whole charade.  He does receive a decent amount of screen time.  In an atmospheric prologue, villagers torch ol' Drac's castle.  Needless to say, our svelte vampire lord doesn't take it lying down.

There is more I could type about the plot, but it's pretty trite stuff.  I'm a fan of director Roy Ward Baker, and his efforts here did not go unnoticed.  The pace is sprightly.  In terms of gore, Scars gets messy.  Even if you subscribe to the law of diminished returns (and to be fair, the series wilts with Dracula A.D. 1972), this is a rewarding sit.  The prop bats are guaranteed to make the most jaded horror fan crack a smile.  And that about does it for Scars of Dracula.  I think I would have had more to declare with an earlier installment, but I must respect the sanctity of the blindfold.  Randomness and all that.

Bring back the double bill!

5/16/25

The Tarantula!


Here's another weird comic book I wanted to tell you about.  Ever heard of Atlas Comics?  They enjoyed an abbreviated stint of production in the mid-70's before dissolving in...the mid-70's.  They only produced twenty (or so) titles, and none of them made it past four issues.  These are exactly the type of comics I enjoy collecting.  I just read the first issue of The Tarantula, a bizarro Spider-Man knock-off concerning Count Lycosa, the recipient of a family curse.  Of course, the curse involves "spider-monsters."  I must say, Atlas gets brownie points for categorical randomness.  The giant spiders just show up out of nowhere.  Next thing you know, their priestess is being burned at the stake.  Her threats mention a Spider God, but unfortunately, this omnipotent arachnid deity is a no-show.

I can't figure out if The Tarantula is supposed to be a superhero or a supervillain.  Anti-hero maybe?  I need to procure the rest of the series.  I couldn't pass up the first issue, not with that incredibly pink cover.  I have my eye on a few other Atlas titles, namely The Brute and The Grim Ghost.  It's a shame we'll never see an epic Atlas/Marvel crossover event.  Can you imagine!?

5/14/25

Now Playing #20

Bleed - Bleed

Two words...YouTube algorithm.  It knows me very well.  That's how I found Bleed, the latest 20 Buck Spin sensation.  Two more words...ear fatigue.  When I need a break from extreme metal, I revert back to my high school listening habits.  I was into Cannibal Corpse in high school, but I was also into Helmet and Deftones.  Man, this album speaks directly to Teenaged Dom.  It's a riff-forward porridge of 90's bands, namely Quicksand, Handsome, and while I hate to admit it, maybe a fraction of Linkin Park.  Just a fraction!  Even the album cover screams 1998, which was a pretty big year for the development of my musical tastes.  I can totally see myself listening to this on my portable CD player in between Geometry and Creative Writing.  Songs like "Fixate," "Marathon," "Take it Out," and "Through the Cylinder" offer a simplistic dose of alt-metal that stays in your brain pan longer than it should.

Geometry is lame, by the way.  It's easily the least metal branch of mathematics out there, although Trigonometry comes close.

October Tide - Rain Without End

Though this album was released in 1997, it was recorded a couple of years prior when there was next to no demand for melodic death/doom.  Would this even be a subgenre without Rain Without End?  Maybe, but I have to think it would sound different.  This thing is so good.  Honestly, I don't need to say anything else, as I imagine that if you have a propensity for weepy doom, you are more than familiar with October Tide.  Favorite tracks?  I'll go with pensive opener "12 Days of Rain" and "Sightless," the latter featuring a sweet guitar solo.  I'm not a demo guy, but since I own the reissue, it's worth mentioning that I actually prefer the production on the demos.  The kick drum is more pronounced.  Of course, I doubt that it matters to anyone.  Dig the Cure vibes on "Losing Tomorrow."  NOTE: This band has released seven albums.  I'm not saying they all suck, but you need to start here.

5/13/25

Blood Capsule #293 (Special Edition)

What's a Special Edition? It's a series where I review one of my favorites. These are films that would appear in my Top 50 or so (if I endeavored to compile such a list). My goal is to write a Special Edition Blood Capsule once every couple of months. We'll see how that goes!

PHANTASM II (1988)

I have a vivid memory of watching Phantasm II on TNT's MonsterVision.  It was love at first sight, and that's in spite of the fact that it was edited for content.  This was actually my introduction to the Phantasm series.  At first, I wasn't a vociferous "phan" of the 1979 original.  I've grown to appreciate it over the years, but for my money, Phantasm II is the ticket.  It's basically the original on steroids.  I should recuse myself by stating for the record that it's not phlawless (okay, I'll stop doing that...probably).  The pacing becomes laborious at certain points.  None of these movies are free of what I call "Benadryl scenes," but this one is still the most lean/mean.  James Le Gros is perfectly acceptable as Mike.  He was chosen for cosmetic reasons, but he turns in a solid acting job.  I'm putting the cart before the hearse (ha!).  Mike and Reggie hit the road in a bid to slay The Tall Man.  If you haven't seen Phantasm II for some mystical reason, I won't bore you with a play-by-play breakdown of the plot.  Besides, you wouldn't believe half of it anyway.

Technically, this is a Universal horror film.  Don Coscarelli wasn't fond of receiving studio notes, but to be honest, I think that feeding his surreal visions through a mainstream filter facilitated the script-to-screen process.  It couldn't have hindered the film.  Little details like the ubiquitous narration only gave the story a measure of forward momentum.  Thankfully, Phantasm II takes the "more is more" approach.  The gore is goopy, the action is kicked up a notch, and of course, it wouldn't be a Phantasmal experience without sexual alchemy.  Yes, there is a character named Alchemy, and yes, my brain is working overtime to find the right pun to bring it all together.  If you're curious, my second favorite of the lot is Phantasm: OblIVion.  I have weird opinions when it comes to this franchise.  However, the majority seems to enjoy Phantasm II as much as I do.  Go phigure.



5/12/25

Content (a reminder)


I don't know how others view this website, if they view it at all.  This is probably just seen as another blog, but I see myself as a content creator.  I'm no different than a YouTuber, which by the way...YouTube is getting clued in on the Patreon model.  You can now "join" a person's YouTube channel and support them monetarily.  I'm hoping this normalizes the whole process because I always feel weird shilling my Patreon.  The truth is, every dollar helps.  Yes, even one dollar helps keep the site going, as it inspires the hell out of me and kicks my keister into overdrive.

So click HERE and maybe one day, I'll write a 1,000-word essay on The Supernaturals, a nifty "war zombie" movie you probably haven't seen.  Maybe one day...

5/10/25

Blood Capsule #292

PSYCHO COP 2 (1993)

I made a boo-boo.  Unknowingly, I watched the cut version of Psycho Cop 2.  It's not just cut; it's decimated.  The herky-jerky editing is laughable.  But - and this is a significant but - I doubt that it impacted my viewing experience to an appreciable degree.  Let me back up a little bit.  Several days ago, I sat down to watch the original Psycho Cop.  It.  Was.  Terrible.  It might be one of the worst slashers I've ever seen, and I've seen Bloody Murder.  I'm glad I got it out of the way, though.  I was freed up to get the most out of Random Sequel Month with this immoderate installment.  Bobby Shafer returns as Joe Vickers, a guy who makes Matt Cordell look like Axel Foley.  By the way, I know this doesn't need to be said, but Psycho Cop doesn't hold a baton to Maniac Cop.  Or even Zombie Cop.  Hell, when it comes to the horror genre, I would sooner grab Kindergarten Cop from the shelf before I entertained the notion of screening a Psycho Cop double feature.

Yeah, if you can't tell, I wasn't exactly bowled over by Psycho Cop 2.  The setting has changed (our victims are trapped in an office building), but the story remains the same on multiple levels.  I'll say this in the film's defense; it has a personality, one indelible enough to force me to use a semi-colon.  Director Adam Rifkin is in on the joke.  Personally, I've heard funnier jokes from lesser filmmakers.  I would be more amenable to this kind of b-cabbage if I was able to single out a character that had any definable traits.  I'm not sure that a main character exists here.  To give you an idea of how Psycho Cop 2 views its cannon fodder, the villainous Vickers is snuffed out by a crowd of bar patrons.  No hero, no final girl...come to think of it, I might have killed Vickers myself.  Who's to say?  I'm open to seeing the uncut version of Psycho Cop 2 somewhere down the road.  Way, way down the road.  Take my rating with all of the salt that you can muster.



5/9/25

Random Album Alert


This was going to be a Random Song Alert, but if a label doesn't mind posting an entire album, I don't mind either.  Enter Warmoon Lord...Finnish war/black metal.  Enjoy!

5/8/25

Dinosaurs Attack!

DINOSAURS ATTACK! (#1, July 2013)

I've been buying a lot of comic books lately.  Like, A LOT of comic books.  I want to talk about a few of them over the next couple of months or so, though I don't know if I would call these "reviews."  I'm just blabbing.  So Dinosaurs Attack!  It wasn't just a set of gnarly trading cards.  I own the IDW reprint of #1 (technically, I own two cover variants).  It sets up the plot before giving way to seismic destruction.  A word on said plot...um, it's confusing.

Brilliant physicists have constructed a "timescan," a satellite structure that zaps a moon or planet and transmits an image of its past.  Basically, the characters watch prehistoric happenings play out on a jumbo screen.  It's like IMAX, only the events depicted are 100% real.  Does that make any sense?  Obviously, something goes awry, and by the end of this issue, a demonic sauropod is ripping through ribcages and beachfront property alike.  Yes, demonic.  I haven't figured out why yet, but these beasts are not gentle herbivores.  It's probably explained in a later issue, which I need to grab.

Please note that I just woke up from a power nap, so my description of the story might be a little hazy.  The artwork is killer.  If you're familiar at all with the trading cards, you know that things get incredibly violent and fast.  I'll go ahead and include a rating, even though this is by no means a formal review.  Again, I hope to blab about more comics soon.



5/6/25

Blood Capsule #291

THE CREATURE WALKS AMONG US (1956)

I'm a Gillman fanboy.  1955's Creature from the Black Lagoon is my top Universal horror film.  While it doesn't surpass its predecessor, 1955's Revenge of the Creature (man, they were really chucking 'em out back then) absolutely rocks.  I've always seen The Creature Walks Among Us as the weakest entry in the trilogy.  Why pick it to review?  I was curious to see how I felt about it as an old(er) man.  The plot finds a team of scientists capturing the Gillman in his native Ft. Lauderdale.  I mean, the Amazon.  During the muggy seizure, Gill sustains third-degree burns and loses some of the gills around his face.  Of course, the scientists respond by playing Let's Make Him Human.  This is never a wise idea.  My poor mother has been playing the same game with me for the better part of forty years.  It hasn't worked out so well for her, and predictably, it doesn't work for our protagonists either.  How does the platitude go?  You can give a Gillman lungs, but you can't...erm, keep him from bodyslamming government officials?

I had mild fun on this viewing, but the movie still has issues.  In fact, it has the same issues I recognized as a twentysomething.  The script wants to concern us with a love triangle.  I'm sorry, but the people involved are not interesting enough to support that kind of gambit.  There are pacing problems as well.  The second act slows to a crawl, which is where most of the affected drama takes place.  Sitting here, I can't even remember the names of the main characters.  Gill is most empathetic.  As per usual, the underwater photography is sublime.  As with the first two films, Ricou Browning dons the wetsuit for the water shots.  Here's something you may not know.  On land, the creature was played by David Lee Roth.  That explains the high kicks and other acrobatics.  Director John Sherwood also helmed The Monolith Monsters, although strangely, he didn't do much else.

The Creature Walks Among Us was the last of the original Universal horror heavyweights, so I can understand how it might be a sentimental favorite.  The Sammy Hagar era is divisive, but--gee golly, what is it with me and Van Halen jokes today?  Stay frosty.



5/4/25

My thoughts on the new Ghost album...


I've listened to it a few times now, and...I don't know.  I have long been a staunch supporter of the wacky Ghost universe, but Skeleta is a little too poppy for my liking.  In my estimation, their sound was beginning to veer off-course with Impera, an album that was half-listenable and half...what would you call "Twenties"?  They - and by "they," I mean "he" - has officially become heavy metal's equivalent to Abba.  Calling it heavy metal doesn't even feel right.  The sterile production has taken all of the heft out of the guitars.  Hey, maybe you like Abba.  I don't!

Admittedly, the lead work is competent enough.  I do like "Lachryma," and the songwriting gets more interesting deeper into the tracklist.  I don't see many repeat spins in the future, though.  Maybe I'll come around to it.  Meh.  Ironically, I recently watched Rite Here, Rite Now (the live album that doubles as a concert film), and I thought it was incredible.  Alright, here's my ranking of the Ghost discography at press time...

1. Infestissumam
2. Opus Eponymous
3. Prequelle
4. Meliora
5. Impera
6. Skeleta

5/3/25

Blood Capsule #290

THE CURSE II: THE BITE (1989)

Um, this movie is gross.  While it deserves credit for being a random sequel (click HERE to get caught up to speed), it also accomplished the unthinkable.  It made me peruse into the living room to watch something on Hallmark with my mom.  The Curse II was just so...gross.  Seeing a guy regurgitate live snakes will make you want to pressure-wash your brain with the nearest antiseptic solution.  I'm not even sure if I liked this thing or not.  My rating is altruistic.  Those Z'Dars were earned on the strength of killer effects by the one, the only Screaming Mad George.  They could almost be described as olfactive in that you can practically smell the snakeskin.  Ick.  Oh, the storyline.  A happy couple is road-tripping through the South (or the North/East/West).  They take a detour through a radioactive test site where everyone - even the gas station attendant - seems to be stricken with ophidiophobia.  Yes, a fear of clowns.

Just kidding, although I'm wondering why we haven't seen any "killer clown snake" flicks.  At any rate, Clark is bitten by a rattler.  I don't actually know the breed, but rattler sounds cool enough.  Does he turn into a snake monster, you ask?  Kind of?  B-movie logic steps in, which means his hand turns into a snake.  What that tells me is that it was easier and more cost-effective to fabricate a snake head puppet.  Hell, it was literally a puppet.  I'm not complaining.  The death sequences are fun.  Scientifically specious, but fun.  I'm contractually obligated to enjoy anything starring Jill Schoelen.  Isn't she lovely?  Here, she plays the obtuse girlfriend, and the camera objectifies her.  Oddly, the script demeans her character into being sexually manipulated.  It's weird.  I didn't love The Curse II, but if you're going to rent one of these films, it might as well be The Bite.  I'm sure that Hollywood Video has a copy with your name on it.