Blood Capsule #304

PUMPKINHEAD: ASHES TO ASHES (2006)

I thought I had seen this film when it debuted on the Sci-Fi/Syfy Channel, but apparently, I was mistaken.  This misfire is all new to me, so I'm offended nineteen years too late.  Yes, offended.  Where do I even begin?  Ashes to Ashes tries to be a direct sequel to the original.  That's where it falls short.  It repositions - or "'remakes" - beats from Stan Winston's Pumpkinhead without any of the character that made those beats work in the first place.  Within the first ten minutes, we are told that someone has been wronged, a corpse has been defiled by a crooked undertaker.  Naturally, we don't learn anything about these people and we don't have a reason to be invested in their story.  Remember when Ed Harley visited the pumpkin patch and found Pumpkinhead's eerie grave?  Remember how that moment was cloaked in atmosphere?  Here, Pumpkinhead is dug up by some random lunkhead.  That's your cast, by the way.  Random lunkheads.  And a disheveled Lance Henriksen (more on him later).

The script has the audacity to bring back Bunt from the first movie, the only yokel youngin' with street savvy.  Ashes has turned him into a mentally-challenged manchild.  Moreover, Douglas Roberts' performance is putrid.  Speaking of putrid, the CGI...Jesus wept, the CGI.  The creature effects are standard for the most part, but yeah, the digital stuff is tantamount to Sega Genesis horseplay.  Oh, Doug Bradley collects a paycheck as the town heavy.  I'm so impressed.  According to IMDb, Henriksen was so thrilled with the project, he left the film's premiere before he was called on stage for the Q&A.  Y'know, Blood Wings was forgettable, but it didn't piss me off.  Pumpkinhead: Ashes to Ashes pissed me off.  Most men would lay their weapons down at this point, but I'm committed to see this charade through.  Am I just destined to see through this charade?  We shall see.

August will be...

...Random Werewolf Month!  I used AI to generate an image of a werewolf in a wheelchair, thinking it could be a mascot of sorts.  Eh, I'm not feeling it.  Regardless, I'll be tackling seven or eight werewolf flicks in August.  Most decades will be represented.  I've curated a nice mélange of lycanthropictures to weed through.  I'm hitting obscure stuff, mainstream stuff, and two entries in the Howling series.  Which two?  You'll have to wait to find out!

Blood Capsule #303

PUMPKINHEAD II: BLOOD WINGS (1994)

Alright, I've delayed this long enough.  Let's break down the pithy, somewhat puny Pumpkinhead franchise.  Unfortunately, I'm doing this in chronological order, which I don't recommend.  If you haven't read my review of the original film, click HERE.  If you haven't seen Blood Wings and you're thinking of checking it out, click...anywhere.  Just do something else.  That's my advice.  I have a long history with this curiously delayed sequel, a history rife with vexation and disillusionment.  My dad rented it when I was 10, so I actually saw it before the original.  That is sheer lunacy.  Alas, it is my truth.  Essentially, Blood Wings asks us to forget most of what we know in relation to everyone's favorite vengeance demon.  There is a sepia-toned prologue that introduces us to a deformed child.  Of course, the boy is unjustly killed, but is Pumpkinhead called forth?  Nope!  The old witch can't be bothered until she is badgered by "rebellious" teenagers thirty years later.

We learn that Pumpkinhead is the boy's father.  That raises so many questions, I can't even.  The witch's house burns down, but technically, it's her own fault.  Basically, nothing here is based on logic.  The hushed tragedy and forlorn grace of the first film is replaced with Andrew Robinson clunkily reciting a nursery rhyme.  Why is the coroner always at his house?  Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt myself with random questions, but these are things you're going to ponder while you wait for KNB's effects to pop up.  The cast is dreadful, aside from Ami Dolenz.  Poor Ami Dolenz.  Thankfully, Linnea Quigley's boobs make a cameo appearance.  We get a fantastic decapitation, but good luck caring about any of the characters.  Now, my rating may seem high after all of that bellyaching.  I can't help it.  I have a sentimental attachment to this flick, although if I saw it today for the first time, I wouldn't be nearly as forgiving.

Guilty pleasure?  Comfort watch?  Nostalgia?  I'm trying to find some way to rationalize the fact that I've seen Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings more than once.  Okay, maybe more than twice.

Woah...

I've had a miserable four days or so.  I've been dreadfully sick AND my computer went belly up.  Basically, I've been disconnected from the world, but I'm back now.  In addition, I'll be making a super cool, super random announcement soon...!

Blood Capsule #302

TIMESWEEP (1987)

This is my favorite type of Blood Capsule to write.  On some level, I enjoy writing all of them, but I particularly enjoy brushing the dust off of an obscure relic that hasn't found its way to Blu-ray.  I only learned of Timesweep recently, and I've never seen anyone bring it up before, whether online or in casual conversation.  Certainly, it's status as one of the last vestiges of VHS antiquity is befitting, as there is nothing casual about this thing.  I would put it somewhere between Spookies and Waxwork.  Calm yourself!  It's not as glorious as those films, but the similarities will be obvious once I unspool a synopsis.  A professor, his students, and a few other random tradesmen (carpenter, gaffer, etc.) convene at an abandoned studio.  We infer that it was used for TV and movie production, but it hasn't been in operation for decades.  Not long after entering, two ancillary characters are impaled by mystery ghouls.  It soon becomes obvious - and you're going to have to trust me here - that everyone is lost in time.

This is where Timesweep gets nutty.  Each room seems to be populated by different impediments (zombies, a phantom archer, a freakin' dinosaur) sent from different dimensions.  It's referred to as a "time shift," and somehow, there is more to it than I can rehash.  That probably sounds like a blurry headache, but it's actually fun trying to piece together.  I broached Waxwork because of the time travel gimmick.  Spookies...well, there are multiple monsters at play, although we never get a good look at what I'm assuming is a dinosaur.  I suppose it could be a were-lizard.  Or a Kool-Aid mascot.  Does Purplesaurus Rex have an alibi that would stand up to scrutiny?  I mentioned zombies earlier.  That's underselling it.  These are zombies from outer space, and yes, we get a glimpse of their spaceship.  How is Timesweep so obscure???  It wasn't even released on home video in the States.  Unreal.  Ah, but was it worth being released?  I'd say so.  The pacing is tight, and the death sequences are saturated with gore.

I'm not going to leave a link, but if you look for Timesweep on a major video-sharing website, you're going to find it.  Finders, keepers (at least until Vinegar Syndrome grabs it).

A bat-shaped blood stain...

Head on over to my Patreon to read the latest Blood Stain, a mini-capsule of 1946's Devil Bat's Daughter.  You'll also be granted early access to Blood Capsules.  If that wasn't enough, you would be helping the site.  Quite a bit, actually.  So what are you waiting for???

Blood Capsule #301

FRANKENSTEIN REBORN! (1998)

In the late 90's, Charles Band planned to make streamlined, teen-centric versions of classic monster mashes.  The idea was to send four into development, but only two got past the "concept art" stage.  I reviewed the other one - The Werewolf Reborn! - years ago.  If you can stomach my annoying writing style (eh, I tended to use profanity as a crutch), I'd say I gave the film a fair shake.  That's all I can promise to the creative team behind Frankenstein Reborn!, and wow, that exclamation point is already driving me nuts.  At any rate, this little trinket sports an in-house crew for Full Moon.  It was directed by David DeCoteau (under some wonky pseudonym, naturally) and written by Neil Marshall Stevens, a guy who has written...everything.  My expectations weren't exactly high, at least not as high as I probably needed to be in order to enjoy this viewing experience.  All jokes aside, Frankenstein Reborn! doesn't fall flat on its face.

That may not hit you with the same gravity as more conventional compliments, but I was impressed by this flick's ability to present itself as passable entertainment.  The story is easy to follow.  By the end of the first act (I considered using quotation marks there, as the running time barely sneezes over the 70-minute mark), the monster has jettisoned his bandages and escaped the laboratory.  Our main character is a sweet, gullible lass who attempts to befriend the grunting brute.  The make-up effects are strange.  We end up with something that resembles, um, try to imagine if Christopher Lee in The Curse of Frankenstein had a bratty teenaged son.  We do get plenty of spooky ambience.  Reborn! was shot in Romania and the settings are quite nice.  Look, this movie isn't going to change your life.  It certainly won't top any lists of the best Frankenstein adaptations of all time.  I'll recommend it to fans of the lesser titles in the Full Moon catalog.  So basically, I'm recommending it to myself.

Blood Capsule #300

BUG BUSTER (1998)

In Japan, Bug Buster was released as Aberration 2.  Let that sink in for a moment.  As I sit here, I'm undecided on a Z'Dar rating (that usually comes last), but dear God, this was at least better than Aberration.  The contents of my liver are better than Aberration.  I can honestly say that for a straight-to-video jobby that I don't ever remember seeing at the local video store, Bug Buster was acceptable entertainment.  Katherine Heigl (!?) stars as a teenager whose family has just moved to the quaint town of - erm, don't make me look it up.  Oh, Mountview!  The quaint town of Mountview!  I only know that because I happen to live in a town called Mountain View.  The film's credits assure me that the events depicted are entirely fictional, and that any resemblance to living people or places is purely coincidental.  That's a weight off my back, let me tell you.  So dead bodies.  They are piling up, and cockroach larvae are found in every corpse.  Obviously, George Takei - the scientist - steps in to determine that these roaches are unlike any that came before.

That was a haphazard synopsis, but I think you get the picture.  What you may not know is that there is a "mother bug" that squares off against Randy Quaid.  This was right before he lost his everloving mind.  His campy performance (dude goes way over the top) stands in opposition, almost antithetically, to the rest of Bug Buster.  Everything is played straight.  Quaid doesn't barrel his way through the script until the third act.  If I weren't in such a jocular mood, I would complain about the uneven tone.  But!  It kinda works.  We get a decent amount of gruesome make-up effects, and thankfully, digital chicanery is kept to a minimum.  Until the end.  But!  I'm being awfully forgiving today, aren't I?  Perhaps I'm a little blown away that I located another creature feature from the 90's that basically hasn't been seen by human eyes.  For what it's worth, it's what I do.  Three Z'Dars?  Recommended to fans of Katherine Heigl's "no nudity" clause in her contract.

My first impressions of the new Steven Wilson album...

I haven't really been into the last couple of Steven Wilson albums.  Progressive pop is just not for me.  He certainly doesn't owe anything to the heavier music community, his ties to metal being tenuous at best.  Still, when I heard that The Overview was a return to prog rock, my ears perked up.  After one listen through (and it only takes one listen to know if something is anywhere near your paddle box), I dig it.  It's as proggy as the day is long.  In fact, it might be too proggy.  I'm not against repeating a chorus here and there.  But that's trivial speak.  The lyrical focus on space exploration is so very Steven Wilson.  The Overview is comprised of two protracted movements, much like Blood Incantation's Absolute Elsewhere.  Actually, both albums could be seen as companion pieces.  Different moons within the same orbit?  Yeah, that sounds deceptively intellectual.  Heh, I just summed up this entire website.  Deceptively intellectual dot com.

I should caution fans of concept albums such as Hand. Cannot. Erase. and The Raven That Refused to Sing.  This doesn't seem to loiter in that stratosphere.  Okay, I'm running out of space words.  The Overview is groovy.  Full stop.

Blood Capsule #299

BODY PUZZLE (1992)

I've always been curious about Lamberto Bava's post-Demons filmography.  Now that I've seen Body Puzzle, I'm a little less curious.  Cue the laugh track.  Actually, this isn't a bad stab at...the giallo?  I'm not sure which subgenre this film falls under, but it could be compared to Argento's late 80's/early 90's work.  This is no murder mystery, however.  We're immediately introduced to the killer, an ardent classical music aficionado who seems to be targeting organ donor recipients.  Was that a spoiler?  Eh.  The script doesn't treat any of its plot twists with sanctity, so I think I'm in the clear.  We follow a widow who seriously needs some form of home security.  She has a sizeable dog, but whenever it barks, she just tells it to calm down.  If she listened to her dog, well, I suppose we wouldn't have much of a movie here.  I don't have much of a review here.  Let's find out if the second paragraph is more interesting.

Nope!  Body Puzzle is competent.  If it were a masterpiece, I would say that it anticipated the maudlin trail of "serial killer" flicks that cropped up in the wake of Se7en.  Instead, I'll say that it doesn't hold a candle to Demons.  What does?  Three Z'Dars because it's well-shot, although I'm peeved at the third act for flaking out on a potentially cool Frankenstein angle.

My Incantation deep dive...

I don't know what form this piece will take, if you could even call it a piece.  But lately, I've been on a serious Incantation kick.  Dead serious.  I've always enjoyed the band.  I distinctly remember loving 2014's Dirges of Elysium when it came out (more on this banger later).  For whatever reason, I delayed my "deep dive" into their discography until, well, 2025.  Please note that this particular dive is still a work in progress.  My Incantation opinions are still being formed, although obviously, there are albums I dig more than others.  I haven't even heard 2006's Primordial Domination yet.  Some, like 2002's Blasphemy, I've only skimmed on a superficial level.  So let's move on.

Way, way back in 2009, I reviewed 1994's Mortal Throne of Nazarene.  Man, I was just teething.  You can search for it if you want, but hell no, I'm not hyperlinking you to it.  Forget that.  As of this moment, my favorite Incantation long player is 2000's The Infernal Storm.  I love the extra layers of technicality, and of course, the jagged riffs.  My favorite Incantation track is "Carrion Prophecy," which can be found on Dirges of Elysium.  Dude, that might be one of the heaviest songs in the known world.  It's gigantic.  Random observation, but 2012's Vanquish in Vengeance is totally underrated.  It had to be said.

I realize that I haven't typed much about Incantation's vaunted 90's output.  I didn't think I needed to sell it, but if you haven't jammed 1992's Onward to Golgotha, do it right now.

A word on "caverncore," if I may.  First off, that's a ridiculous name for a subgenre.  Secondly, I postulate that most of the bands who embrace a dissonant sound (and there are too many to list here) don't quite grasp what makes Incantation rule.  The influence is there, but Incantation is more than just a flurry of dissonant notes.  There are hooks.  Stop/start dynamics.  RIFFS.  Sometimes, it seems that these bands take a stab at aping the Portal formula, but Portal is never factored into the "caverncore" discussion.  For the life (or death) of me, I don't know why.

For the record, I'm a fan of a few of the disso-death bands that clearly look up to Incantation (and Immolation, for that matter).  Cruciamentum, Father Befouled, and Dead Congregation are all rock solid.  There are more I could name, but you get the point.  Wait, what is my point?  Go listen to Incantation, especially if you're under 30 years of age.  You need all the education you can get, sonny.

Blood Capsule #298

DESERT SHADOWS (2022)

In my review of Witchboard 2: The Devil's Doorway (I promise this is relevant), I made a random David Coverdale joke.  Never in my weirdest dreams did I think that I would one day encounter a monster movie that credited Coverdale as a voice actor, but here we are.  I swear to God.  After doing some lightweight legwork, I found out that director Tyler Bourns manned the camera for a handful of Whitesnake videos.  I can't even.  Here, Coverdale is responsible for high-pitched creature shrieks, but you would never know it was him.  Why was he hired???  I've heard of filmmakers creating roles with certain actors in mind.  That happens.  This...this doesn't happen.  But what do we make of Desert Shadows, you may ask?  At the risk of sounding sentimental, I took a gamble on this flick in the spirit of nostalgia.  Y'know, back in the day, it was common to rent something just because it had a cool cover.  I didn't have to spend four dollars on this b-debris (thank you, Tubi), so I'd say I came out on top.

Donnie's brother is snatched by a quadrupedal demon in the middle of the desert.  What is this fiend, and what does a demure college professor know about it?  The professor is played by Mitch Pileggi, which will intrigue fans of The X-Files.  I'm one of those fans, and I'll admit that he adds a touch of class to the cast.  He's basically in Skinner mode, only a tad more hostile.  I'm resisting the urge to spoil story beats.  The film gets a respectable amount of mileage out of very little, and no, we don't see much of the actual monster.  The ending is exceedingly underwhelming.  On the upside, there is plenty of pointless nudity.  How pointless?  It's on the same wavelength as the inclusion of David Coverdale, if that tells you anything.  Decent gore effects nudge Desert Shadows into 3-Z'Dar territory.  Recommended to fans of the high note in "Here I Go Again."

Selling comics on eBay...

Click HERE, yo.  This is a trial run.  If these books sell, I will probably sell more comics in the future.  I have a metric ton of horror titles and I need to make room for...um, more.

Blood Capsule #297

REVENGE OF THE STEPFORD WIVES (1980)

We may as well end Random Sequel Month (part two) with a made-for-TV flick.  A couple of weeks back, I decided to sit down with 1975's The Stepford Wives, which I had never seen.  I was honestly impressed.  It's a dour quasi-mystery with staid 70's sensibilities all over the place.  I lucked into a copy of Revenge of the Stepford Wives, and considering the hooky concept, I figured this would be a trite retelling of the original.  I was right.  And wrong.  The plot is familiar in that there are plenty of creepy housewives who are way too invested in household appliances, but the facade of the town is at least punctured in a different way.  A reporter checks into a motel with the assignment of doing a story on the idyllic Stepford.  We know what she's going to find, and that's okay.  Sharon Gless is agreeable as our journalist-turned-gumshoe.  She befriends an amiable gal who is new to Stepford herself.  The gal is played by Julie Kavner.

Does that name ring a bell?  The whole time I was watching, I kept thinking that I recognized her voice.  Turns out, she's Marge Simpson.  D'oh!  Again, expectations are subverted, as director Robert Fuest manages to wring some suspense out of a vanilla set-up.  Speaking of vanilla, Revenge looks like a made-for-TV movie.  Eh, it is what it is.  That's true, y'know.  It is what it is, and you can't tell me it isn't.  Random trivia!  Two more sequels followed.  That isn't really trivia, but it was trivial enough to mention.  It's no surprise that Fuest pulled convincing performances out of his actors.  He wrangled Vincent Price for both of the Dr. Phibes films.  This is a solid escapade if you don't need bells and whistles with your spooky entertainment.  That does it for me.  I'm worn to a frazzle on account of shepherding a sequel to Random Sequel Month.  You'll have to tune in to find out if I make this a trilogy.

Happy Memorial Day?

How hot is Stephanie Vaquer???  Don't spoil NXT's PLE from yesterday for me.  I plan on watching it this evening.  There has been a ton of wrestling to watch lately.  You may have noticed a slight dip of wrestling content on ye olde site in the past month or so.  That's halfway intentional, as I wanted to concentrate more on movies and music.  Which brings me to my next point of interest...Random Sequel Month is almost over.  I have an idea for another "theme" month, but I'm not ready to announce it yet.  Stay tuned!

Blood Capsule #296

THE FLY II (1989)

That damn dog scene.  Man, it's even worse when you know it's coming up and you just dread it.  No amount of mental fast-forwarding will prepare you for that level of second-hand suffering, but once you get past the discomfort (it sounds like I'm describing a date with me), there is an above-average sci-fi/horror treat to watch.  It may be an unwritten law that you're supposed to prefer David Cronenberg's The Fly to its inferior sequel, but I think I enjoy them both equitably.  Of course, I'm not going to go out on a (phantom) limb and say that it's the better product.  It's probably not.  But!  The payoff is so rewarding.  Before we get there, allow me to bring you up to speed.  Veronica (Geena Davis in the first film) dies giving birth to a cocoon named Martin.  The Brundlekin is raised in a laboratory setting.  He ages rapidly, and by the time he's five, he looks old enough to drink.  He resents his clinically monitored lifestyle, so for his birthday, his father figure gifts him an apartment.

It's not the apartment that Martin wanted; it's the privacy.  And for awhile, it seems that his wish has been granted.  The viewer knows better, though.  Whether or not you have a nefarious corporation on your bingo card, Martin is about to add "thorax day" to his workout regimen.  I mentioned the payoff earlier.  A little past the hour mark, The Fly II hits the gonzo button and becomes a gooey nightmare that revels in its practical special effects.  It might be gorier than its predecessor, and if what I'm reading is true (as we all know, there is no reason to doubt the Internet), the studio wasn't forced to make egregious cuts to avoid an X rating.  Eric Stoltz is affable as Martin.  Daphne Zuniga fares well as the cute girlfriend.  I didn't notice the fact that the running time sailed past 100 minutes, so that's another check in the "pro" column.  Yeah, I'd call The Fly II a rousing success.  Recommended for fans of maggots and mandibles.

Gruesome!

So Gruesome is gearing up to release a new album.  Hopefully, you already know this, but Gruesome is a "Death worship" band featuring Matt Harvey of Exhumed fame.  For the most part, their music has been written in the style of early Death, which means that for Silent Echoes, they're up to Human.  I'm wondering if they will also attempt to mimic Symbolic and The Sound of Perseverance.  That would rule.  I get that the appeal of these types of acts is limited, but what's the difference between Gruesome doing what they do and some other band simply ripping off Death?  I'll tell you; the difference is that Gruesome is being honest about it.  Besides, Chuck Schuldiner was taken from us waaaaay too soon.  More metal in the vein of Death - from any era - can't be a bad thing.  It just can't.

Blood Capsule #295

SPECIES II (1998)

Has it been seven years since I reviewed Species already?  I can't stand reading my old reviews, but I'm assuming that I spoke highly of it.  It was made during a magical time called the "mid-90's."  I keep threatening to write a book about my favorite decade, and maybe one day, I will.  There was a juncture where big-budget b-movies were squirming their way into wide theatrical releases.  This flick was the last of its kind (for awhile anyway).  Speaking of budgets, Species II commanded expenses north of $35 million, the same amount of money that was spent on Species.  Unlike its predecessor, however, it didn't recoup that money.  Horror was booming at the time, but moviegoers were more interested in killers wearing masks.  Of course, Teenaged Dom had fun with this sci-fi/horror mongrel, and I'm happy to report that for the most part, the years have been kind to Sil/Eve.

Astronauts have returned from Mars.  Unfortunately, they have brought something back with them, something with tentacles.  In terms of monsters, Species II is a double whammy, as Eve (Sil's clone) sees her vitals go haywire when she is clairvoyantly connected to Patrick.  I must admit, I dug the design of our male counterpart, even if the CGI is erratic.  The R rating is pushed to its limits.  Species II outstrips the original where blood and boobs are concerned...quite literally!  It's hard not to be entertained by the sheer audacity of it all.  On the downside, the film is visually plain.  And we don't have many core protagonists to anchor the conflict.  Michael Madsen practically sleepwalks through this thing, although you can't blame him.  I could have used more Natasha Henstridge.  As a general rule, I could always use more Natasha Henstridge.  Two sequels followed, both premiering on television.  I don't comprehend MGM's intentions here.  I mean, why bother?

Recommended to fans of Phantoms, The Faculty, and Ghosts of Mars.  Because Natasha Henstridge.

My thoughts on Final Destination: Bloodlines...

So that was really, really good.  I must confess, I'm not a die-hard fan of this series.  I recently reviewed (and quite liked) the original, but aside from having a thing for A.J. Cook, I could take or leave the sequels.  I don't even think I bothered watching 2011's Final Destination 5.  It is with some consternation then that I hereby decree Bloodlines to be the best of the bunch.  If you're only watching for brutal gore, which I completely understand, it definitely ups the ante.  I mean, it drives the ante into your skull and splits your spinal column into two distinct pieces.  And then it sets the ante on fire.  Seriously, the death sequences are...advanced?  At one point, a couple of characters in the film are seen enjoying a game of Mortal Kombat.  Yeah, that's appropriate.  I almost expected to see the word "FATALITY" pop up on-screen after the bit with the garbage truck.  Sweet Lord.

I realize that I'm only talking about the, um, finality of Bloodlines, but everything else is up to snuff.  I dug most of the cast, even if one or two of the side players came off as cursory.  That's bound to happen with these flicks.  Can I just say that Tony Todd's scene is incredible?  Geez.  I don't have many heartstrings to pull, but I don't mind sharing that I very nearly choked up.  Okay, I did choke up.  On the whole, I had a blast with Final Destination: Bloodlines.  My only real complaint is cosmetic.  No opening titles?  That's a modern trend I could do without.  Destiny prevails, I suppose.

How does one revive Tehom?

So check this out...Eleventh Ray features members of Serpent Noir, a Greek black metal band that I've been digging lately.  Reviving Tehom is their full-length debut, and it's very heady, atmospheric stuff.  The promo blurb mentions that the music is "rooted in Typhonian alchemy," if that tells you anything.  I'm hearing shades of early Celtic Frost, especially in the gnarled vocals.  Production is raw, but it's raw in a professional sense.  The riffs have some oomph to them.  This isn't a paid advertisement, by the way.  I just felt like sharing with the class.

Blood Capsule #294

SCARS OF DRACULA (1970)

I knew I wanted to review one of Hammer's Dracula romps for Random Sequel Month, but which one?  With the help of a blindfold, I landed on Scars of Dracula, the sixth entry.  To be honest, I couldn't remember if I had seen it or not.  I knew that I loved Taste the Blood of Dracula.  This was a bit of a crapshoot.  As for how much crap was shot, this turned out to be a rudimentary affair.  It was Hammer's last stab at a Dracula film with Gothic trappings.  A few months back, I was reading an antiquated genre magazine (it might have been Marvel's Monster Madness), and I had to laugh at Christopher Lee's terse comments on playing the Count.  Poor Hammer was trying to promote these pictures, but Lee wasn't having any of it.  Certainly, by Scars, he was absolutely sick of the whole charade.  He does receive a decent amount of screen time.  In an atmospheric prologue, villagers torch ol' Drac's castle.  Needless to say, our svelte vampire lord doesn't take it lying down.

There is more I could type about the plot, but it's pretty trite stuff.  I'm a fan of director Roy Ward Baker, and his efforts here did not go unnoticed.  The pace is sprightly.  In terms of gore, Scars gets messy.  Even if you subscribe to the law of diminished returns (and to be fair, the series wilts with Dracula A.D. 1972), this is a rewarding sit.  The prop bats are guaranteed to make the most jaded horror fan crack a smile.  And that about does it for Scars of Dracula.  I think I would have had more to declare with an earlier installment, but I must respect the sanctity of the blindfold.  Randomness and all that.

Bring back the double bill!

The Tarantula!

Here's another weird comic book I wanted to tell you about.  Ever heard of Atlas Comics?  They enjoyed an abbreviated stint of production in the mid-70's before dissolving in...the mid-70's.  They only produced twenty (or so) titles, and none of them made it past four issues.  These are exactly the type of comics I enjoy collecting.  I just read the first issue of The Tarantula, a bizarro Spider-Man knock-off concerning Count Lycosa, the recipient of a family curse.  Of course, the curse involves "spider-monsters."  I must say, Atlas gets brownie points for categorical randomness.  The giant spiders just show up out of nowhere.  Next thing you know, their priestess is being burned at the stake.  Her threats mention a Spider God, but unfortunately, this omnipotent arachnid deity is a no-show.

I can't figure out if The Tarantula is supposed to be a superhero or a supervillain.  Anti-hero maybe?  I need to procure the rest of the series.  I couldn't pass up the first issue, not with that incredibly pink cover.  I have my eye on a few other Atlas titles, namely The Brute and The Grim Ghost.  It's a shame we'll never see an epic Atlas/Marvel crossover event.  Can you imagine!?

Now Playing #20

Bleed - Bleed

Two words...YouTube algorithm.  It knows me very well.  That's how I found Bleed, the latest 20 Buck Spin sensation.  Two more words...ear fatigue.  When I need a break from extreme metal, I revert back to my high school listening habits.  I was into Cannibal Corpse in high school, but I was also into Helmet and Deftones.  Man, this album speaks directly to Teenaged Dom.  It's a riff-forward porridge of 90's bands, namely Quicksand, Handsome, and while I hate to admit it, maybe a fraction of Linkin Park.  Just a fraction!  Even the album cover screams 1998, which was a pretty big year for the development of my musical tastes.  I can totally see myself listening to this on my portable CD player in between Geometry and Creative Writing.  Songs like "Fixate," "Marathon," "Take it Out," and "Through the Cylinder" offer a simplistic dose of alt-metal that stays in your brain pan longer than it should.

Geometry is lame, by the way.  It's easily the least metal branch of mathematics out there, although Trigonometry comes close.

October Tide - Rain Without End

Though this album was released in 1997, it was recorded a couple of years prior when there was next to no demand for melodic death/doom.  Would this even be a subgenre without Rain Without End?  Maybe, but I have to think it would sound different.  This thing is so good.  Honestly, I don't need to say anything else, as I imagine that if you have a propensity for weepy doom, you are more than familiar with October Tide.  Favorite tracks?  I'll go with pensive opener "12 Days of Rain" and "Sightless," the latter featuring a sweet guitar solo.  I'm not a demo guy, but since I own the reissue, it's worth mentioning that I actually prefer the production on the demos.  The kick drum is more pronounced.  Of course, I doubt that it matters to anyone.  Dig the Cure vibes on "Losing Tomorrow."  NOTE: This band has released seven albums.  I'm not saying they all suck, but you need to start here.

Blood Capsule #293 (Special Edition)

What's a Special Edition? It's a series where I review one of my favorites. These are films that would appear in my Top 50 or so (if I endeavored to compile such a list). My goal is to write a Special Edition Blood Capsule once every couple of months. We'll see how that goes!

PHANTASM II (1988)

I have a vivid memory of watching Phantasm II on TNT's MonsterVision.  It was love at first sight, and that's in spite of the fact that it was edited for content.  This was actually my introduction to the Phantasm series.  At first, I wasn't a vociferous "phan" of the 1979 original.  I've grown to appreciate it over the years, but for my money, Phantasm II is the ticket.  It's basically the original on steroids.  I should recuse myself by stating for the record that it's not phlawless (okay, I'll stop doing that...probably).  The pacing becomes laborious at certain points.  None of these movies are free of what I call "Benadryl scenes," but this one is still the most lean/mean.  James Le Gros is perfectly acceptable as Mike.  He was chosen for cosmetic reasons, but he turns in a solid acting job.  I'm putting the cart before the hearse (ha!).  Mike and Reggie hit the road in a bid to slay The Tall Man.  If you haven't seen Phantasm II for some mystical reason, I won't bore you with a play-by-play breakdown of the plot.  Besides, you wouldn't believe half of it anyway.

Technically, this is a Universal horror film.  Don Coscarelli wasn't fond of receiving studio notes, but to be honest, I think that feeding his surreal visions through a mainstream filter facilitated the script-to-screen process.  It couldn't have hindered the film.  Little details like the ubiquitous narration only gave the story a measure of forward momentum.  Thankfully, Phantasm II takes the "more is more" approach.  The gore is goopy, the action is kicked up a notch, and of course, it wouldn't be a Phantasmal experience without sexual alchemy.  Yes, there is a character named Alchemy, and yes, my brain is working overtime to find the right pun to bring it all together.  If you're curious, my second favorite of the lot is Phantasm: OblIVion.  I have weird opinions when it comes to this franchise.  However, the majority seems to enjoy Phantasm II as much as I do.  Go phigure.

Content (a reminder)

I don't know how others view this website, if they view it at all.  This is probably just seen as another blog, but I see myself as a content creator.  I'm no different than a YouTuber, which by the way...YouTube is getting clued in on the Patreon model.  You can now "join" a person's YouTube channel and support them monetarily.  I'm hoping this normalizes the whole process because I always feel weird shilling my Patreon.  The truth is, every dollar helps.  Yes, even one dollar helps keep the site going, as it inspires the hell out of me and kicks my keister into overdrive.

So click HERE and maybe one day, I'll write a 1,000-word essay on The Supernaturals, a nifty "war zombie" movie you probably haven't seen.  Maybe one day...

Blood Capsule #292

PSYCHO COP 2 (1993)

I made a boo-boo.  Unknowingly, I watched the cut version of Psycho Cop 2.  It's not just cut; it's decimated.  The herky-jerky editing is laughable.  But - and this is a significant but - I doubt that it impacted my viewing experience to an appreciable degree.  Let me back up a little bit.  Several days ago, I sat down to watch the original Psycho Cop.  It.  Was.  Terrible.  It might be one of the worst slashers I've ever seen, and I've seen Bloody Murder.  I'm glad I got it out of the way, though.  I was freed up to get the most out of Random Sequel Month with this immoderate installment.  Bobby Shafer returns as Joe Vickers, a guy who makes Matt Cordell look like Axel Foley.  By the way, I know this doesn't need to be said, but Psycho Cop doesn't hold a baton to Maniac Cop.  Or even Zombie Cop.  Hell, when it comes to the horror genre, I would sooner grab Kindergarten Cop from the shelf before I entertained the notion of screening a Psycho Cop double feature.

Yeah, if you can't tell, I wasn't exactly bowled over by Psycho Cop 2.  The setting has changed (our victims are trapped in an office building), but the story remains the same on multiple levels.  I'll say this in the film's defense; it has a personality, one indelible enough to force me to use a semi-colon.  Director Adam Rifkin is in on the joke.  Personally, I've heard funnier jokes from lesser filmmakers.  I would be more amenable to this kind of b-cabbage if I was able to single out a character that had any definable traits.  I'm not sure that a main character exists here.  To give you an idea of how Psycho Cop 2 views its cannon fodder, the villainous Vickers is snuffed out by a crowd of bar patrons.  No hero, no final girl...come to think of it, I might have killed Vickers myself.  Who's to say?  I'm open to seeing the uncut version of Psycho Cop 2 somewhere down the road.  Way, way down the road.  Take my rating with all of the salt that you can muster.

Random Album Alert

This was going to be a Random Song Alert, but if a label doesn't mind posting an entire album, I don't mind either.  Enter Warmoon Lord...Finnish war/black metal.  Enjoy!

Dinosaurs Attack!

DINOSAURS ATTACK! (#1, July 2013)

I've been buying a lot of comic books lately.  Like, A LOT of comic books.  I want to talk about a few of them over the next couple of months or so, though I don't know if I would call these "reviews."  I'm just blabbing.  So Dinosaurs Attack!  It wasn't just a set of gnarly trading cards.  I own the IDW reprint of #1 (technically, I own two cover variants).  It sets up the plot before giving way to seismic destruction.  A word on said plot...um, it's confusing.

Brilliant physicists have constructed a "timescan," a satellite structure that zaps a moon or planet and transmits an image of its past.  Basically, the characters watch prehistoric happenings play out on a jumbo screen.  It's like IMAX, only the events depicted are 100% real.  Does that make any sense?  Obviously, something goes awry, and by the end of this issue, a demonic sauropod is ripping through ribcages and beachfront property alike.  Yes, demonic.  I haven't figured out why yet, but these beasts are not gentle herbivores.  It's probably explained in a later issue, which I need to grab.

Please note that I just woke up from a power nap, so my description of the story might be a little hazy.  The artwork is killer.  If you're familiar at all with the trading cards, you know that things get incredibly violent and fast.  I'll go ahead and include a rating, even though this is by no means a formal review.  Again, I hope to blab about more comics soon.

Blood Capsule #291

THE CREATURE WALKS AMONG US (1956)

I'm a Gillman fanboy.  1955's Creature from the Black Lagoon is my top Universal horror film.  While it doesn't surpass its predecessor, 1955's Revenge of the Creature (man, they were really chucking 'em out back then) absolutely rocks.  I've always seen The Creature Walks Among Us as the weakest entry in the trilogy.  Why pick it to review?  I was curious to see how I felt about it as an old(er) man.  The plot finds a team of scientists capturing the Gillman in his native Ft. Lauderdale.  I mean, the Amazon.  During the muggy seizure, Gill sustains third-degree burns and loses some of the gills around his face.  Of course, the scientists respond by playing Let's Make Him Human.  This is never a wise idea.  My poor mother has been playing the same game with me for the better part of forty years.  It hasn't worked out so well for her, and predictably, it doesn't work for our protagonists either.  How does the platitude go?  You can give a Gillman lungs, but you can't...erm, keep him from bodyslamming government officials?

I had mild fun on this viewing, but the movie still has issues.  In fact, it has the same issues I recognized as a twentysomething.  The script wants to concern us with a love triangle.  I'm sorry, but the people involved are not interesting enough to support that kind of gambit.  There are pacing problems as well.  The second act slows to a crawl, which is where most of the affected drama takes place.  Sitting here, I can't even remember the names of the main characters.  Gill is most empathetic.  As per usual, the underwater photography is sublime.  As with the first two films, Ricou Browning dons the wetsuit for the water shots.  Here's something you may not know.  On land, the creature was played by David Lee Roth.  That explains the high kicks and other acrobatics.  Director John Sherwood also helmed The Monolith Monsters, although strangely, he didn't do much else.

The Creature Walks Among Us was the last of the original Universal horror heavyweights, so I can understand how it might be a sentimental favorite.  The Sammy Hagar era is divisive, but--gee golly, what is it with me and Van Halen jokes today?  Stay frosty.