THE CURSE II: THE BITE (1989)
Um, this movie is gross. While it deserves credit for being a random sequel (click HERE to get caught up to speed), it also accomplished the unthinkable. It made me peruse into the living room to watch something on Hallmark with my mom. The Curse II was just so...gross. Seeing a guy regurgitate live snakes will make you want to pressure-wash your brain with the nearest antiseptic solution. I'm not even sure if I liked this thing or not. My rating is altruistic. Those Z'Dars were earned on the strength of killer effects by the one, the only Screaming Mad George. They could almost be described as olfactive in that you can practically smell the snakeskin. Ick. Oh, the storyline. A happy couple is road-tripping through the South (or the North/East/West). They take a detour through a radioactive test site where everyone - even the gas station attendant - seems to be stricken with ophidiophobia. Yes, a fear of clowns.
Just kidding, although I'm wondering why we haven't seen any "killer clown snake" flicks. At any rate, Clark is bitten by a rattler. I don't actually know the breed, but rattler sounds cool enough. Does he turn into a snake monster, you ask? Kind of? B-movie logic steps in, which means his hand turns into a snake. What that tells me is that it was easier and more cost-effective to fabricate a snake head puppet. Hell, it was literally a puppet. I'm not complaining. The death sequences are fun. Scientifically specious, but fun. I'm contractually obligated to enjoy anything starring Jill Schoelen. Isn't she lovely? Here, she plays the obtuse girlfriend, and the camera objectifies her. Oddly, the script demeans her character into being sexually manipulated. It's weird. I didn't love The Curse II, but if you're going to rent one of these films, it might as well be The Bite. I'm sure that Hollywood Video has a copy with your name on it.
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