Blood Capsule #324

THE CRATER LAKE MONSTER (1977)

If you look up reviews of this film, a couple of things will jump out at you.  A) The production company - Crown International - gave director William R. Stromberg a gastric ulcer (just guessing) by tampering with the final product.  B) You will notice throngs of dweebs grousing about the special effects.  Okay, maybe "throngs" is overshooting it a bit, but I did come across more than one artless comment on the stop-motion beastie in The Crater Lake Monster.  Don't listen to the dweebs.  This particular Plesiosaur looks incredible, considering the dinky budget.  I don't even know how certain shots were achieved.  The clay models mesh unjustifiably well with the actors.  And the bulldozers.  Yes, we get a brief struggle between our dinosaur and heavy machinery.  By the way, I'm calling it a dinosaur out of sheer laziness.  It's a prehistoric something that is shaken to life by a meteor.  I'm realizing with age that a generous portion of the best movies ever made begin with a bolide fireball landing in the middle of a forest.

To that end, I wouldn't rank this flick over other contenders in the "meteor monster" sub-subgenre.  Sorry, but it doesn't touch The Blob or Killer Klowns from Outer Space.  It's definitely fun, though.  I'm contractually obligated to enjoy it on account of a gratuitous car chase.  It's so random, as is the double homicide that leads to the car chase.  Seriously, where did that come from?  I do have to deduct points for the goofball comedy.  For some ungodly reason, we spend an inordinate amount of time with the muttonhead owners of a boat rental service.  The film won't let them fade from memory.  I guess we're supposed to react when one of them ends up as chum.  Personally, if I were the Crater Lake Monster (y'know, in The Crater Lake Monster), I would demand better chum.  I'd still say this is a fine motion picture.  Slightly superior to 1985's The Sea Serpent, which I recently watched.  Slightly inferior to the fossilized dung of the Midwestern Tree Dolphin.

Gotta watch out for those tree dolphins.

Iron Supplements #5

BEHOLDER

Here is one for fans of epic metal.  Beholder also falls into the power metal camp, although they're nowhere near, say, Hammerfall.  They trend towards Candlemass-style doom, with vocalist John Yelland (of Judicator fame) sounding like a younger Robert Lowe.  Any Dungeons & Dragons players in the house?  Apparently, that's where the name comes from.  A Beholder is a "floating orb of flesh with a large mouth, single central eye, and many smaller eyestalks on top with powerful magical abilities."  I probably just scared you off, but don't recoil just yet.  This stuff jams.  You can expect to hear prize-winning riffs and saucy solos (sorry, my adjectives are out of control) on In the Temple of the Tyrant, the 2025 full-length debut.  Amorphis frontman Tomi Joutsen delivers guest growls on "Eyes of the Deep," which is currently massaging my earholes.  All in all, this band is kicking my crippled caboose.  Highly recommended for fans of air guitar and...um, paladins.

Short story!  I once played D&D at a coffeehouse.  Once.  The night ended with my character (a druid, if memory serves) committing suicide as I ran over the game pieces with my wheelchair.  For some reason, I wasn't invited back.

Blood Capsule #323 (Special Edition)

What's a Special Edition?  It's a series where I review one of my favorites.  These are films that would appear in my Top 50 or so (if I endeavored to compile such a list).

THE HOWLING (1981)

I'll end the suspense.  The Howling is my favorite werewolf movie of all time.  I have a sick fascination with the sequels, but they really did it right the first time.  Watching it last night (after a period of dormancy that lasted several years), things clicked for me.  I think I know why it works.  I mean, I've always known, but this most recent viewing shed some clarity on the matter.  The Howling is one of a handful - and that's being generous - of lycanthropictures that perfectly balances vein-slashing horror with genuine pathos.  The secret weapon?  Dee Wallace Stone.  She's invaluable as TV journalist Karen White, so much so that I can't imagine the film without her.  None of it, not even Rob Bottin's jaw-dropping special effects, would hit the same without her ardent, solemn performance at the core of the film.  If you need a synopsis, White is sent on a furlough to a mountain resort to find some solace after a harrowing episode where she assisted the police in nabbing a serial killer.

I don't think I'm spoiling anything by saying that this leave of absence is interrupted by a gaggle of werewolves.  The creatures themselves are fierce.  I can only echo the sentiments of others when it comes to the transformation sequence, which I just learned was shot after director Joe Dante ran out of money.  Who needs a budget anyway?  This is a five-Z'Dar supernova of fur and wolfsbane (I'm using five Z'Dars from my personal collection, I'll have you know), but it should be noted that the midsection is sluggish.  As much as I try to silence my inner critic, I had to mention it.  That doesn't diminish the explosive third act, though.  John Carradine earns a nomination in the category for Best Supporting Actor That is Almost Dead.  And that was a tough playing field, too.  Elisabeth Brooks was a shoe-in for Sexiest Werewolf Bitch.  I'm kidding; that's not a real category.

Random Album Alert

Another day, another 2025 release that rips.  The band is Shrieking Demons, and this is an excellent slab of death metal.  Could very well end up on my year-end list.

Blood Capsule #322

UNNATURAL (2024)

Disclaimer!  I'm only roping Unnatural into Random Werewolf Month for two sketchy reasons.  How sketchy?  Enough to warrant a disclaimer.  I needed there to be a "current" film amongst the dead pool of titles that I curated.  Also, this is a werewolf movie for, like, five minutes (the first five, to be exact).  It switches to vampire mode for the rest of the running time.  I had to include it, though.  Folks, Unnatural is a horror/western hybrid starring Al Snow.  Yes, the wrestler.  I didn't realize that he entertained an acting career on the side, but his IMDb page is variegated in an assortment of low-budget projects that range in style from horror to Homeless for the Holidays, whatever you would call that.  He's pitch-perfect here as a grizzled cowboy.  Actually, that's going to be a theme, as I have to say that Unnatural is pretty...unbad.  Don't get me wrong.  It's obvious that this flick is limited in scope, but I didn't spot nearly as many unintentional gaffes as I was expecting.

Snow plays a stolid, imperturbable drifter who opens the film by saving his grandchildren from a werewolf.  Incidentally, our lycanthrope looks...can I use "unbad" again?  It's un-ungood.  From there, we cut back and forth to a Dodge City of sorts.  The sheriff is a bloodsucker.  By God, if Al Snow can't send him and his acolytes back to Hell, he's going to die trying.  That running time I mentioned clocks in at 103 minutes.  Normally, that would be a hindrance for a z-grade picture show, but while Unnatural moves at a methodical pace, I was never bored.  I was hoping to see Al Snow dispatch monsters at high noon/midnight, and for better or worse, that's what I got.  If I want to sleep at night, however, I can't hand out any more than three Z'Dars.  That's just the way it is.  Now, I'm no wobblin' jaw, so I'm going to head for the door.  Don't squat with your shootin' spurs on, partner.

By the way, Unnatural II and III are in pre-production.  Hot dog!

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Blood Capsule #321

AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN PARIS (1997)

I imagine that fans who flocked to see this film in 1997 were disappointed that it didn't (correction: couldn't) live up to An American Werewolf in London.  Can I share something with you?  Promise not to laugh?  In my opinion, London is overrated.  Any moron could tell you that the special effects were incredible, but it left me feeling flat.  It's definitely not my favorite werewolf movie.  Not even close (I'll get to my actual favorite a couple of reviews from now...patience, patience).  If you view Paris as a true sequel, it's not going to wash your dishes.  However, if you view it as a stand-alone creature feature, one produced in the gizzard of a slasher boom, you might find that most of its punches connect.  The main dude is played by Tom Everett Scott.  He is vacationing in France with his daredevil buddies, and right off the bat, this flick has a leg up on the original.  The oh-so-significant best friends are brought to life by perennial "that guy" actors Vince Vieluf and Phil Buckman.  Simply put, they rock.

This is the last time I'll reference it, but I never felt a connection to the side characters in London.  Here, they're entertaining, and as an added bonus, they play an integral role in the storyline.  Conversely, I can't say that the chemistry between our cloying leads is particularly riveting.  Julie Delpy is fine as the lycanthropic love interest, but...meh.  The rain-soaked opening credits ensured me that Paris would be easy on the eyes.  And it is, with the exception of the werewolves.  Good Lord, the CGI has not aged well.  It looks foul.  Malodorous even!  That's a crucial bone of contention, considering that the werewolves are the stars of the show.  In terms of gore, nothing stands out.  I realize that it sounds as if I've soured on An American Werewolf in Paris over the course of this capsule, but I had fun with it.  I enjoyed it more than I did when I saw it at the fragile age of thirteen.  I'm pretty sure I was just waiting to see boobs and/or blood in 1997.  I'd like to think I've matured since then.  Ahem.

My thoughts on Weapons...

I was told to go into this movie with very little knowledge of the plot beforehand.  So I won't give much away.  Weapons is already being touted as the best horror romp of the year, and while it's definitely worth seeing, I would probably give the edge to Bring Her Back.  Both films are intense, but this one does take awhile to get cooking.  I wouldn't even call it a disconnect.  You're going to see 45-60 minutes of plot unfold before you're lined up with a protagonist.  The narrative jumps from character to character, almost like an anthology, which is fine.  That's the nature of the story.  Whenever I'm confronted with an unorthodox framing device, I have to wonder if it wouldn't have been easier to digest as something more linear.  Of course, if you haven't spent time with Weapons, none of this makes any sense.

It sounds as if I was disenchanted, but I wasn't.  This is an engrossing sit, and I'm glad that I limited my exposure to "promotional materials" before I entered the theater.  I didn't even watch the trailers.  There is quite a bit to talk about here, but obviously, I don't want to get into details.  Suffice to say, the acting is first-rate.  There are a couple of disturbing moments that could read as "scary," although I never use that word myself.  It seems that everyone else has already bought a ticket to check out Weapons, so I don't know that it needs a recommendation.  For what it's worth, I do recommend it.  4 Z'Dars?  Super intriguing, not jaw-dropping.  That's my official verdict.

Iron Supplements #4

MONOLITHE

Technically, I'm cheating with this entry.  I think I may have listened to this album years ago, but that doesn't change the fact that I rediscovered Monolithe by clicking around on Metal Archives.  This is melodic death/doom, an environment I am totally comfortable with assimilating.  It should be noted that Black Hole District is LP number ten.  I can't vouch for the other stuff, but I do plan on dunking my head into this discography like a sugar-dependent child bobbing for apples at a Halloween party.  There are ten tracks here, five being one-minute filler interludes and the rest being gargantuan skyscrapers of towering riffs.  "Skyscraper" is actually an appropriate word.  You may have noticed the cover, which ties into the concept of the album.  I typically don't follow along with lyrics, but for those who do, Black Hole District is a science fiction story that takes place in a Blade Runner-esque city.

Again, that's fine and dandy, but I'm here for the tunes.  Catchy clean vocals crop up here and there, as do liquid guitar harmonies.  Overall, songs such as "Sentience Amidst the Lights" and "To Wander the Labyrinth" align with my tastebuds.  I never got into Blade Runner, though.  I once had a professor in college who knew that I fancied myself a "genre journalist," and he gave me the extra credit assignment of writing a report on the movie.  I think I got an A.  I hope I got an A!

Blood Capsule #320

LONE WOLF (1988)

The plot summary on IMDb refers to the characters in this film as "college students."  I'm calling shenanigans.  They act like high school brats.  If they aren't squabbling over girls, they're fighting in the hallway.  Plus, the teachers reprimand them like they're teenagers.  All of this is compounded by the fact that they are - easily - the oldest teenagers I've ever seen in a b-movie.  I mean, they could double as their own parents.  Clearly, Lone Wolf is a ditzy flick, but that's part of the charm.  It's also notable for being, like, ridiculously obscure.  As of this writing, it's still not on Blu-ray.  You can forget about finding it on VHS, although I'm sure it's out there.  Somewhere.  I shouldn't bury the lede; this is a fun werewolf romp.  The identity of our lycanthrope is a mystery until the ending.  The suspects?  Mostly nobodies, but the main dude is worth talking about.  He might even be worth starting a new paragraph.

Eddie (last name redacted...he's too cool for that) is the poofy-haired singer of a rock band.  He's dangerous.  And he has convinced the owner of the only club in town to let his band play every night, seemingly.  For weeks on end!  Did I mention that this was a ditzy flick?  I'll skip to the vital details, the most salient points.  Our werewolf looks awesome.  Plain and simple.  The first shot we see in Lone Wolf is the monster's bloodied claw transposed over a full moon.  Again, awesome.  The highlight of the whole ordeal is a beheading at the winter's ball.  My words don't do the scene justice.  You had to be there.  This is a 4-Z'Dar powerhouse, but it's not without pockmarks.  I'm man enough to admit that I checked the clock a couple of times during the third act.  If the pacing was a bit snazzier, Lone Wolf would be unstoppable.  It very nearly eclipses other werewolf movies from this decade that are held in high esteem.  Don't sleep on it if it ever makes the jump to more accessible physical media.

Random trivia!  According to myth, Lone Wolf was the last film that O.J. Simpson watched the night before he killed Nicole Brown Simpson.  Um, allegedly.

Now Playing #23

Azarath - Praise the Beast

Behemoth fans probably know all about Azarath.  The band features Inferno on drums, and genre aside, he has got to be one of the best drummers alive.  I'm convinced that he was born with secret limbs, as I have no idea how he plays some of this stuff.  Anyway, Azarath traffics in slightly blackened death metal.  It's seared, really.  This was their fourth full-length album, and I pull it out every 10-12 months.  It's full of spasmodic riffs (lots of intermittent squeals) and martial beats that make you feel like you're in Hell's boot camp.  The vocals remind me of the dude from Krisiun, and before you chastise me for not knowing his name, do you even know his name without looking it up?  Sit down.  My favorite tunes would have to be "I Hate Your Kind" and "Queen of the Sabbath."  This record destroys.  Man, I wish Behemoth still played this kind of chiseled, face-removing death metal.  Hail Inferno.

Oskoreien - Hollow Fangs

As per usual, I don't know how I found out about this band.  Maybe Angrymetalguy?  This is their third album, a 2025 release that is determined to climb to the top of my eventual year-end list.  I've seen them listed as "post-black metal," but that's nonsense.  This is just melodic black metal, and off the top of my head, I can't draw any points of comparison.  It's a unique sound that pivots on the interplay between the lead and rhythm guitars.  I absolutely adore the clean, emotionally wrought solos that always seem to emerge at the right time.  It's a minor point, but I'm also a fan of the artwork.  Again, it's unique.  Check out "To Kiss the Viper's Fang" to get a feel for the material, which...I mean, there are only five songs.  You might as well listen to all of them.  I know I said I couldn't compare these guys to anyone, but the music does have the consistency of peach ice cream.  And Grima.

Hold up.  I did some online snooping, and apparently, Oskoreien has been tagged as "Cascadian black metal."  That's news to me.  Personally, I don't hear Panopticon or Wolves in the Throne Room on Hollow Fangs.  Now that I mention it, I don't think Panopticon counts as Cascadian either.  I thought it was a geographical branch of the metal ecosystem.  I don't know.  It has something to do with forests.

Blood Capsule #319

DOGMAN TERRITORY: WEREWOLVES IN THE LAND BETWEEN THE LAKES (2024)

Apparently, this is from a batch of cryptid documentaries produced by Small Town Monsters.  I'm into cryptozoology, but I have to admit that I didn't know squat about the Dogman of Kentucky (or Texas).  This is an engaging concatenation of interviews with experts and locals.  I can appreciate that director Seth Breedlove was pushing this project uphill, as it's hard to present facts in an arena that is built on supposition and hearsay.  As for the topic at hand, I hate to say it, but...I'm not sold on the existence of "dogmen."  A lot of the legend stems from a tragic event referred to as the LBL Massacre.  It's a great campfire story, but there is a dearth of hard evidence.  And that's putting it mildly.  Still, there are books and other films on the subject.  I recommend forming your own opinion.  In other words, don't listen to me.  Keep reading, though?

The root story at the heart of this motion picture is interesting.  I'll listen to any spooky yarn that involves government cover-ups, especially when black helicopters just happen to fly over during key interviews.  That had to be planned, right?  I'm a cynical guy who watches pro-wrestling, so I assume that everything is a work.  Whether Dogman Territory is bogus or not, it's certainly worth checking out, even if it doesn't sway the viewer into loading up on silver bullets.  At the very least, it adds a layer of mysticism to Random Werewolf Month.  Hey, it's readymade material for your next horror marathon.  You bring the moon, and I'll bring the flea repellent.

October will be...

...Random Reptile Month!  If you wanted something different, you only have yourself to blame.  I put it to a vote on Facebook, and while I was pulling for Random Vampire Month, I have to give the people what they want.  Get excited!  Now!

Blood Capsule #318

SKINWALKERS (2006)

Random Werewolf Month has taught me an invaluable lesson: there are way, way too many werewolf movies in the universe, especially on streaming.  I took a chance on Skinwalkers because it was directed by James Isaac.  That name might ring a bell, as he has toiled on oodles of genre films under oodles of different credits.  His main claim to fame - to my target audience anyway - is a certain spacebound slasher.  Yep, he helmed Jason X.  If you had anything to do with Jason X, I feel like I owe you one.  Renting Skinwalkers was the least I could do.  And I didn't even rent it.  That's just leftover 90's parlance that I'll probably never relinquish.  I did stream it, so I'm not a complete caveman.  Skinwalkers deals with a rogue clan of lycanthropes.  They reminded me of the villain's posse in Fright Night Part II.  That's definitely a plus.  Anyway, the bad guys seek to snuff out a 13-year-old.  This kid was prophesized to find a cure for "the curse," but some folks prefer being werewolves.

I hope you're not averse to warring factions.  Don't worry; Skinwalkers doesn't approach Twilight territory.  The casting is impressive.  Rhona Mitra and Elias Koteas are rock solid as the emotional anchors of the story.  There is a character twist that didn't make much sense, but I wouldn't want to spoil it.  Suffice to say, any system errors are minor.  Apparently, there is an unrated cut that adds twenty minutes of sex and gore.  In the film's defense, I didn't notice that I was missing out on choice exploitation.  Isaac does a bang-up job with the climax.  It's set at a steel mill, and it was giving me heavy Freddy's Nightmares vibes.  All in all, Skinwalkers is adequate.  Nothing mind-blowing.  I mean, it doesn't compare to Jason X, but what does?

Slumbering Sun or Random Album Alert

Click HERE to listen to Starmony, the new album from Texas doomsters Slumbering Sun.  This probably doesn't require a disclaimer, but I feel like I should mention that I'm not affiliated with the band in any way, shape, or form.  They simply rule.  Imagine something in the vein of Warning and Pallbearer (I'm also hearing a smidgen of Hangman's Chair).  This is just fantastic doom with crystalline vocal harmonies/starmonies and measured arrangements.  And riffs!  Riffs for days.  Listen to it.  Buy it.  Thank me later or not at all.

Blood Capsule #317

HOWLING III (1987)

Technically, this is a "found footage" film.  I'm clinging to that so I can cite it as a favorite whenever I hear someone losing their popcorn over the latest V/H/S venture.  Howling III is an oddity.  When I was a kid, I was spooked by seeing a ballerina transform into a werewolf.  Nowadays, that scene is hysterical.  I do wonder why it was shown on television during school hours in the early 90's.  Childhood rocked, didn't it?  Growing up, I never questioned the sheer audacity of this series.  Grunge was cool, the sky was blue, and there was a boatload of Howling movies.  We took these ridiculous franchises for granted.  How was I to know that it would be so much fun revisiting this Ozploitation lycanthropicture as an adult?  I'm still not sold on it being a high watermark for werewolves in general, but the synopsis alone is entertaining.  A feral girl escapes her rapist uncle and evades a "werewolf cult" by shacking up with a Hollywood producer.  Naturally, she auditions for a role in Shape Shifters Part 8.

It's interesting that Howling III seems to be winking at the viewer.  I don't know if you could call it self-referential in earnest, as it's pretty wacky outside of the movie-within-a-movie trope.  Let's talk about monsters.  I'm forgiving when it comes to creature effects, but these werewolves are just daffy.  Zany even!  I'll admit that the pouch-roving "kid" is ten kinds of cute.  The film almost becomes clever when it spins common thread between lycanthropes and marsupials.  Almost.  It's a nice idea, but it never really goes anywhere.  Honorable mentions must go out to Dagmar Blahova and Imogen Annesley as lady wolves Olga and Jerboa, respectively.  Honestly, their performances are too refined for this flick.  I'm counting that as a compliment.  I would have to rewatch the worst sequels to give my full ranking.  Since that isn't going to happen, I'll say that Howling III falls somewhere in the middle.

Recommended to fans of wombats and bandicoots.  They're marsupials; I checked.

Iron Supplements #3

CROWS

I like all of the bands that I break down here, but if I'm being perfectly honest, this is the first Iron Supplement that has joined my "regular" listening rotation.  That's pretty much on-brand, as this is easily the weirdest one yet.  Crows was a speed/power metal band out of Germany.  I'll talk about the music in a second, but the lyrics take precedence.  For some odd reason, Crows chose the plight of Native Americans as the theme of The Dying Race, their only full-length album.  Yeah.  But whatever.  The songs kill.  They're full of soaring harmonies (check out the chorus of "We Are the Storm"), melodic shredding, and more soaring harmonies.  This isn't straight power metal, which I think is the main reason why I dig it so much.  I'm reminded of Helstar.  And maybe Helloween.  I mean, I'm not into Helloween, but the similarities are there.

Members of Crows went on to play in Sodom and Angel Dust.  I will say, they don't share any common bonds with the Teutonic thrash triumvirate of Kreator, Sodom, and Destruction.  Same sandbox, different sand castle.

Blood Capsules #316

LATE PHASES (2014)

I meant to catch this flick upon its release.  For reasons unknown, I'm only seeing it now.  Let me recommend the hell out of it before I go any further.  It's a clever, point-blank cross-pollination of Silver Bullet and Bubba Ho-Tep.  Why Bubba?  Because our setting is a retirement community, and most of the characters are senior citizens (though I concede that none of them believe themselves to be rock stars).  The main dude is a blind man played - incredibly well, mind you - by Nick Damici.  He has an acerbic personality, which makes it easier to be in his corner.  Within the first twenty minutes, his neighbor is mauled by a hulking werewolf.  The fact that we don't see the beast again until the finale is actually a stroke of brilliance.  The film is forced to rely on the strength of its plot.  I'm not used to watching movies with, y'know, plots, so Late Phases was a breath of fresh air.

I sincerely hope the casting agent was paid handsomely.  Everyone is dialed in, and that includes...Tina Louise?  Yes, Ginger is given a supporting role, as is Tom Noonan.  Again, the acting is nuanced from all involved.  The werewolves are not "the point," but it has to be said that the creature suits are glorious.  I'm sitting here trying to decide if there was anything I didn't like about Late Phases.  I mean, I don't like that it's somewhat obscure.  This is easily one of the best werewolf movies of the 2010's, maybe the best overall since Ginger Snaps.  Why wasn't Tina Louise in Ginger Snaps?  I digress.  The non-lycanthrope drama is written with panache.  Ironically, it's just as affecting as the tender moments of Bubba Ho-Tep.  Check out Late Phases pronto.  Recommended to fans of 1994's Wolf and calcium-rich diets.