Blood Capsule #310

DEEP SPACE (1988)

Not to be confused with 1991's Dead Space.  I was just telling a friend the other day that I am easily entertained.  It really doesn't take much to cajole me into writing a positive review of your work, even if you're Fred Olen Ray.  See, Fred understands this.  I'm sure he knows everything about me.  Aside from being omnipotent (???), he knows that I'll watch any and all Alien ripoffs.  I have to, folks.  And when it comes to these snow jobs, these peculating pieces of plagiarism, Deep Space is dependable.  In fact, it's on the level of Xtro 2: The Second Encounter, an Alien riff that holds a special place in my moth-eaten heart.  Charles Napier plays Ian McLemore, a no-nonsense cop who is on probation for being a no-nonsense cop.  Yeah, the action movie clichés are laid on thick.  His partner is just as tetchy.  Normally, the sidekick is a token goofball, so I actually appreciated this dude.  Unfortunately, he does happen to be the token black guy, so he doesn't stick around very long.

What about the monster?  Does it look like a xenomorph?  You bet!  Since we never see its legs when it's ambulatory, I'm thinking that they only built a torso.  That's fine by me.  Deep Space was afforded a reputable budget for a Fred Olen Ray joint (this was probably his biggest project yet), but I wasn't expecting aerodynamic special effects.  We get a couple of car chases, an occasional explosion...y'know, the usual.  The second act is sluggish, but ol' Fred brings it home for the finale.  There should have been a "goop wrangler" listed in the credits.  An honorable mention goes out to this flick's version of a facehugger.  Good stuff.  If I had to interject with a complaint, the subplot with the psychic isn't terribly interesting.  I almost completely forgot that it existed.  Nevertheless, if you're looking for a hassle-free cheese dish, Deep Space might be for you.  At the very least, it's notable for being an Alien ripoff that takes place in the suburbs.  Yippee?

Random Album Alert

Click HERE to check out a fresh batch of tunes by Drawn and Quartered.  I was just listening to it while polishing off a review for Random Werewolf Month.  Speaking of which, August is going to be sick.  Also sick?  Meat-and-potatoes death metal, which is what this album delivers.  I don't know if it's going to be on anyone's year-end list, but my ears are telling me that it's cool.

Blood Capsule #309

BOG (1979)

Fishman alert!  I actually borrowed Bog on VHS from a friend years ago and never watched it.  The film now comes to me via a secret, mystical repository of psychotronic delights (Tubi).  A word on our fishman - though it is gilled, I'm not sold on its status as a fish.  Or a man.  All we learn about the boggy critter is that it has been awakened from a deep slumber.  It may be prehistoric?  As for the monster's motivation, bulbous eyes reveal an august, unmitigated passion for life and all of the mysteries of the universe.  And breeding.  Don't forget breeding.  A cluster of eggs is supposed to leave the door open for a sequel, but let me back up a bit.  Aldo Ray plays a sheriff who must contend with a pile of dead fishermen.  Naturally, we meet a pair of scientist types, and this is where Bog gets its...idiosyncrasies.  That's a rather generous word choice on my part, but I believe this movie has its heart in the right place.  Fiftysomething Ginny begins a crusty romance with sixtysomething Brad.  Paragraph!

Break!  For some unholy reason, Bog makes it a point to focus on their relationship.  They are depicted as smitten teenagers, which is cute at first.  Then we're treated to an uncomfortably long makeout session.  I can't seem to identify the target audience here.  Regardless, Brad and Ginny anchor the script, so I hope you're in the mood for freebase hanky-panky at the retirement home.  Thankfully, Bog resides in PG waters.  Dodged a bullet there.  While I can say that this flick is entertaining, you need to consider the source.  This is my kind of mess.  Still, out of all of the "fishman" follies that I've been lucky enough to catch, this one offers the least amount of creature suit chicanery.  We don't get an eyeful of anything interesting until well after the hour mark.  Bog does receive partial credit for featuring a swamp witch.  So there is that.  Recommended to fans of Rana: The Legend of Shadow Lake and the episode of The Golden Girls where Blanche beds a mudskipper.

Random Match Alert

I haven't actually watched this match yet, but I know it's worth sharing.  Diesel vs. Waylon Mercy...enjoy!

McKay's haul!

So I've been a fortunate dude lately.  Maybe I did good deeds in a past life.  Whatever the case, I was in a unique position today where I had a little cash to blow.  I don't say this to brag.  God knows, I'm not bragging.  Things have simply been going well for me.  So well, in fact, I almost feel guilty about it.  I know I shouldn't, but when you're inundated with tragic stories on the news (NOTE TO SELF: Stop watching the news!), you realize how lucky you are.  Maybe this was an unnecessary preamble.  Oblige me, as I wanted to write it anyway.  Because...

...I bought a lot of crap at McKay's.  If you're not familiar, McKay's is the last bastion for physical media.  There might be others, but this one is somewhat local to me.  Well, it's a couple hours.  That's what transportation is for.  It's worth the drive, though.  I went with one of my best friends (thanks, Bobby!) and we had a blast.  First up, check out the movies I bought.  I couldn't believe they actually had VHS to spare.  Not much, mind you.  Yes, I'll be reviewing some of these, either here or on Patreon.  Click to enlarge.

Next, wrestling stuff!

And finally, reading material.  The X-Files book was only a buck.

Not pictured: Yes, there is more.  I grabbed some King's X (Dogman) and Depeche Mode (Songs of Faith and Devotion) on CD.  And a bag of plastic eyeballs.  Why did I buy a bag of plastic eyeballs?  Here's how I see it; the last time you went to a store, why DIDN'T you buy a bag of plastic eyeballs?  Hmm?

Blood Capsule #308

THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN (1957)

On the surface, this film doesn't seem very interesting.  Giants are a hit/miss proposition, but in the capable hands of Bert I. Gordon (that's Mr. B.I.G. to you), this becomes a stark prophylactic that warns us on the dangers of plutonium bombs.  Okay, maybe "stark" isn't the right word.  The Amazing Colossal Man is certainly more affecting than expected.  Glenn Langan turns in a well-mannered performance as Lt. Col. Manning, a serviceman who risks radiation barbecue to save a downed pilot.  He accrues third-degree burns on 95% of his body, but amazingly, new skin cells emerge that wipe out any trace of injury.  Before you send him a cordial greeting card, you should know that just 48 hours after removing his bandages, he grows eighteen feet.  Something about the pituitary gland?  I'm a bit of an expert on Robert Wadlow, the tallest man in recorded medical history.  With boots on, he topped out at nine feet.  I'm familiar with some of the science behind gigantism, so I know that Manning's case is hogwash.  In fact, you might compare it to a bull's fecal deposits.  However!

Despite also being an expert on, um, bull deposits, I had fun watching The Amazing Colossal Man.  It gets pretty dark.  Mind you, it's nowhere near as dark as Johnny Got His Gun, but that didn't stop me from humming Metallica riffs during scenes where our conflicted hero flashes back to his courtship with Carol, an agreeable blonde played by Cathy Downs.  I recognized her from The She-Creature (same girl, different hair color).  The pace is swift.  Writer/director Gordon was adept at spinning tales of stupefying science fiction.  This might be his best effort all told, although I still need to see Satan's Princess and Picture Mommy Dead.  There is a sequel, 1958's War of the Colossal Beast.  I might try to catch it if I stage another Random Sequel Month.  As for this flick, you should check it out if you're a fan of kaiju-sized monsters.  As for Robert Wadlow, I've always wanted to write a biopic for the silver screen.  But who to tag for the lead role?  Is Phil Fondacaro still active?

Rassle Inn #55

The second season of WWE LFG just started (a few weeks after the first season ended).  Is anyone else watching this show?  I'm genuinely curious.  If you're not privy, it's a competition-based reality show that reminds me of The Voice.  I only know how The Voice works because my mom is obsessed with it, but basically, celebrities form teams of hopefuls and they "duke it out."  Replace singing with wrestling.  Same thing.  The Legends are Bubba Ray Dudley, Booker T, Michelle McCool (having supplanted Mickie James), and of course, The Undertaker.  I'll withhold my comments about the term "legend."  I think it's pretty obvious what is happening here.  Yes, The Undertaker is a legend, but ehhhh...

If this show were a shoot, it would be more interesting.  For some reason, they have to fabricate feuds between the rookies.  I would love to see actual training footage.  Plus, it's so rare to see the guys and gals putting matches together, that alone would be an intriguing concept.  But as it stands, it's pretty vanilla.  And they're doing that annoying thing where the winner is obviously NOT the one with the most potential.  If you've been watching, you know that Tyra Mae Steele shouldn't have gone over, so to speak.  I've seen some of the rookies concurrently compete on Evolve, WWE's c-show that streams on Tubi.  So who knows what the plan is going forward?

I described LFG as "vanilla."  That's where we are right now with respect to WWE's main roster.  There are people I like, but geez, why are the shows so boring?  Am I supposed to be looking forward to the Goldberg match? John Cena's heel turn has been a partial success, but they don't seem to know where it's going.  Now, I'm sure they know where it's going, but unless he retires as a heel (which isn't happening), something isn't clicking.  I wished that CM Punk won the title in Saudi Arabia.  That would shake things up, but then again, I keep wishing for A.J. Lee to return.  Speaking of the women's division, Evolution looks lackadaisical.  Again, am I supposed to be looking forward to a Nikki Bella match?

So there you have it.  A bunch of complaining.  That's going to be the title of this post on the Rassle Inn index page.

Blood Capsule #307

PROJECT VIPER (2002)

There is a car chase in Project Viper where a character is being pursued by a helicopter.  I thought it looked pretty upscale for a Jim Wynorski joint, and after doing some research, I found that I was correct.  Apparently, the footage was lifted from Species.  Why Species?  No earthly idea, but man, I can't get that movie out of my hair.  Ol' Jim was aiming at the moon with this sci-fi dive bomb.  Ostensibly, it was made for the tube (Syfy Channel, I'm assuming), but instances of heavy profanity say otherwise.  I don't actually know why this b-venture was produced or where it was supposed to premiere.  I do know that it's not too shabby, all things considered.  The plot deals with a rocketship to Mars.  Ground communication is disrupted by an unseen force, and the astronauts are feared dead.  What happened???  Well, it may have something to do with Viper, an experimental bio-weapon comprised of human DNA and computer chips (because of course).  There are two prototypes.  One of them is in outer space, while the other has been stolen.

Can the FBI track Viper down before it releases...hmm, what should I call it?  The Temu Mind-Flayer?  That's a Stranger Things reference, but in all honesty, it looks like the aliens in Pitch Black, only larger and amorphous.  Hey, I wasn't asking much from Project Viper, and it met my expectations.  I just needed a teensy bit of action, moderate bloodshed, and plenty of quality time with the monster.  The CGI is so pitiful, that it makes a full revolution and becomes incredible.  I'm not fond of the phrase "so bad, it's good."  However, I concede that it describes this flick with punctilious precision.  Patrick Muldoon and Theresa Russell are solid as the lead experts (or whatever they are).  By that, I mean they don't look too embarrassed.  Again, I wasn't asking for much, so I don't feel guilty giving Project Viper my hearty endorsement.  Recommended to fans of the first ten minutes of Species II.