Album Cover of the Week

Advent of Bedlam is a cool melodic semi-technical death metal band.  I know about them because godly vocalist Tim Aymar (he of Pharaoh/Control Denied fame) guests on one of their tracks.  Of course, that's a creepy, detailed cover, which is why they're featured here.  Now you know.



Have you seen this?  I saw it on Facebook, and it's bound to viral its way to a million views within the week.  It's Freddy Krueger rapping about wrists.  Now, I know what you're thinking.  Freddy is already an established rapper who has spit rhymes with the best of 'em (well, with The Fat Boys).  He goes hard.  BUT this is a solid joint.  It may not be Robert Englund underneath the make-up, but The Crispy One looks pretty good, I must say.


Tyranno's Claw

Every movie blog on planet Earth has reviewed Jurassic World.  I suppose I should at least attempt to stay topical.  Right, so let's talk about 1994's Tyranno's Claw.  What, you haven't heard of it?  I checked, and this cotton-pickin' picture doesn't even have an IMDb page.  Makes no sense to me.  I know it's on DVD, so if you actually want to own a piece of South Korean cheeseball history, you're in luck.  If.  It's not that Tyranno's Claw is a chastening watch, but honestly, it's pretty fucking depressing.  And it really shouldn't be, not with the cloddish, lubberly cavemen and the herd of tactile dinosaurs scampering all over creation.

A scintilla of background information before I go into why it's so depressing: there is no dialogue, as all of the characters lack - eh, how you say - the English language.  They might as well be primates.  In the film's favor, they do look sufficiently troglodytic.  Grubby hair, splotches of dirt, bullhide garments...I would use the term "realistic," but y'know, dinosaurs.  The Rex dude on the poster munches on Cro-Magnon offerings prepared by Cro-Magnon assholes.  This asshole tribe is led by one guy, the chief executive asshole.  Everyone is afraid of him, so they quail and genuflect to him, even though they could easily overpower him.  It's not like he has a gun.

Anyway, a couple escapes during a sacrificial ritual and Tyranno's Claw becomes a chase sequence.  But Dominic Jay Coccaro, why is it depressing?  First of all, don't interrupt me.  Secondly, don't use my full name proper.  You're really pissing me off.  While it's never true animal cruelty (or at least I hope it isn't), there are several scenes in which regular beasties who have NO IDEA what is happening are either pursued by idiots or gobbled up by a mechanical carnivore.  You don't see a goat being shredded (as metal as that would have been), so I'm assuming it was okay.  This stuff is hard to watch for me, especially the Triceratops death.  That poor Triceratops!

Enough bitching.  The effects are genuinely impressive.  If you dig creature suits, by God, Tyranno's Claw is the cult entrĂ©e for you.  We even get a biped rodent monster.  Bipedal?  Anthropoid?  Hominid?  Humina, humina?  Hubba, hubba?  Hubba Bubba?  Nevermind.  Technically, this counts as kaiju, though it's not Japanese.  It's well-executed for a low-budget foreign film.  The pacing is locomotive and the action is relatively imaginative.  Character-wise, there isn't much to sink your incisors into.  In fact, the humans suck.  I made reference to an asshole tribe earlier, but in candor, they're all assholes.  At one point, the main boor slings arrows through baby Pterodactyls!  What a dick, right?

Tyranno's Claw toyed with my emotions.  It's entertaining, but it's also a bummer.  An entertaining bummer.  Use your own judgment.


Stumbling Blocks

Since revivifying the site last week, I'm still getting into a groove.  Currently working on the next review.  I don't want to blurt out the title, but it may have something to do with prehistoric creatures.  Remember Batista's blown-up performance at this past year's Royal Rumble?  That's where I'm at right now.  I'll get back into peak writing shape, though.  PUSH IT!  YEEEAH!


Gimme your dead links!

Is your website cool?  Does it have something to do with horror, metal or - Satan forbid - wrestling?  Well, then tell me about it!  Help me help you!  Drop me a line at caincalaway@hotmail.com...you can include a brief description if you want.  In fact, you probably should.


Geek Out #116

I detest modern mainstream horror, but over the last couple of years, gainful independent pictures have skulked their way into my telescopic sight.  For the most part, the indies are where you find creativity.  While I haven't viewed it (yet), 2013's The Demon's Rook seems like a strong example of "dat shit," as the kids say.  In my weird opinion, it strikes a balance between Nightbreed and...The Guyver?  Maybe that's off-base.  Again, I haven't seen it, although there are practical creature effects galore.  Galore, I say!


Album Cover of the Week

Selected for its..."huh" factor.  And for its beryl, teal-as-fuck background.  If you're curious, Zed Yago is a German pirate metal band.  Because why wouldn't they be?


Return of the Return

So obviously, I'm back!  Due to several reasons, I've decided to have another go at this website thing.  I think this is just how I'll operate from here on out.  A few months on, a few months off...it's probably the healthiest way to do this without exhausting all of my mental resources.  RR Inc. will still be a full-time gig with some sort of update everyday.  Tomorrow marks the return of the Album Cover of the Week, which is my favorite "column."  It's easy, and furthermore, I like looking for kewl covers to showcase.

Later!  Spread the word!