Giant Box of Cereal

So that was a whole bunch of Wrestlemania.  Let me say this right out of the gate - by and large, WM32 was excellent.  It might have been the best 'Mania package in the last decade, although that isn't saying much.  The good stuff (and again, there was plenty of it) will forever be smazy in my mind, bolted in a depleting mush.  Huh?  I'm trying to tell you that the production was too long.  My God, it was too long.  Even in the days when every PPV ran for three hours, you were running the risk of losing your audience.  I can't sit still during a movie.  If you count the pre-show, WM32 was close to seven hours of super-produced sports entertainment.  E-fucking-gads!

My advice?  Invent a way to edit live programming.  Or just, y'know, plan a more succinct show.  I hate to sketch out another list after utilizing au courant list technology for my review of Shredder Orpheus, but I feel like I can get away with it.  Because I can do what I want.

List) Who here picked Zack Ryder to win the IC strap?  You're a fucking liar.  But I ain't mad.  Good for Zack.  And good for the WWE brass for taking a chance.  I sincerely hope that he keeps the title beyond a single episode of Raw.  If he loses it tonight, I will be pissed off in a shaky, irrational way.

List) Jericho and Styles worked their fourth consecutive barn burner, possibly the most superlative one yet.  My only problem is...yeah, this was unnecessary.  The angle was dead in the water.  Now that they are "tied" (again), will they have a fifth match?  I thought Wrestlemania was supposed to resolve storylines.

List) The WWE Women's Championship!  I dig it.  The "pink butterfly" belt can rot in Hell for all I care.  The triple threat between Sasha, Becky and Charlotte was off the scales.  From a technical standpoint, it might have been the best bout of the night.  From a booking standpoint, why the interference?  Resolve, remember?  Resolution!  Closure!  Blowoff!  With the exception of 'Taker/Shane and the ladder match, it seems that each spot on the card was tainted by something.

List) Ambrose/Lesnar was okay.  Meh.  The grand majority of the weapons were useless.  I mean, a chainsaw?  Was he going to eviscerate Paul Heyman?  I can't help thinking that Ambrose should have won.  He has been losing A LOT lately.  The writers tout his "insanity," but it doesn't matter how unhinged the guy is if he lies down for all of his opponents.  He has zero credibility right now.

List) Shane O'Mac is a psychopath.  He's the real lunatic fringe.

List) The 3-on-4 handicap match...why weren't the tag titles on the line?  Fuck if I know, but I popped like a blood condom (sorry for the image) for HBK, Cactus Jack and "Stone Cold" Steve motherfucking Austin.  Where were the black trunks?  The trunks would have completed the picture, yo!

List) I'm usually the last fan to cry burial.  In almost every case, it's a knee-jerk reaction.  However, what else can you call the lamentable fate of The Wyatt Family?  What a missed opportunity.  That's an editorial for another day.

List) The main event. lolz


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