Geek Out #131

This is so cool.  When I found it, I geeked out hardcore.  It was messy.  Did you know that Soundgarden appeared on Bill Nye the Science Guy in 1993?  I don't know how you responded (and if you did respond, you don't understand rhetorical questions very well), but I didn't.  It's a short clip of the band recording "Kickstand," the speedy jam on Superunknown.  Apparently, the episode focused on explaining how sound waves work.  If I had seen this as a kid, that part (y'know, the education) would have flown over my stupid scalp.

NXT Round-Up

I really just want to talk about the main event, but I guess I can talk about the other matches.  I GUESS.  And I'm not accidentally deleting this post either.  You hear me, world???

MAURO IS BACK ~ Yay!  Suffice to say, I doubt that we'll be hearing his top-echelon commentary on Raw or Smackdown (the shows that desperately need him), but at least he's on the show that rules the roost.  From what I understand, he will also be announcing at Takeover events.  Another boastful, commemorative "yay" is in order.

THE PATRICK CLARK EXPERIENCE ~ Mr. Velveteen washed his hands of Ho Ho Lun in less than three minutes.  I pray to Joshua Crickets that the double entendre was intentional.  You see, when Clark went for the final cover, his junk landed on Lun's face.  It was described as cocky.  I was reminded of vintage Goldust and the way that Jerry Lawler would suggest homoerotic absurdities whenever The Golden One appeared in the ring.  Not that homoeroticism is absurd; even a gay man would view old Goldust matches as absurd. I wonder if Clark sought out Goldie's advice on how to access his mean streak.  He transitions from flamboyant to vicious remarkably well.

BACKSTAGE SIDENOTE ~ Heavy Machinery are now the number one contenders for the NXT Tag Team Titles.  What does this mean? It means we're fresh out of tag teams!  Replenish the stock.  Or rush TM-61 back into action.  Don't get me wrong, mates; I dig Heavy Machinery, but it seems a bit early, does it not?

HIDEO ITAMI VS. ONEY LORCAN ~ Looked like Itami's nose was legit broken.  These two work stiff as fuck.  They keep teasing a full-blown heel turn for Itami, but I hope it comes sooner than later. That's just me being selfish.

LAST WOMAN STANDING ~ Twenty minutes of no-holds-barred wrestling, pitting Asuka against Nikki Cross...dandy!  I loved this shit. Unlike the women's Money in the Bank matches, this fight didn't leave me wanting more.  They took advantage of weapons in logical ways, and as silly as it sounds, the violence had a sinuous flow to it, capping off with a serious "fuck yeah" moment.  Fuck yeah, ladies!

Black Past

FUCKSHIT!  Motherfucker.  I'm fucking pissed off.  I have just written a full review of 1989's Black Past, an Olaf Ittenbach joint.  And OUT OF NOWHERE, it deleted itself.  I didn't fucking do it!  Get this; it was supposedly "saving" itself the whole time.  I even clicked "Save" myself.  This is literally impossible.  My writing process is pretty rigorous, so I'm not going to try to write it again from memory.  FUCK that.

Fucking goddamn it.  For those interested, I gave Black Past 3.5 Z'Dars.  I dug it, but I prefer The Burning Moon.  I'm DEFINITELY changing the way I review movies in the future.  Fuck.

Flatliner

I'm rolling downhill.  Maybe it's just the fact that I've spent a lot of time in a hospice facility lately, but I'm dealing with a depression rut. I don't give a fuck about anything.  I did watch a movie to review, but I don't see that happening.  In a little over a week, my dementia-ridden grandmother will be staying with us for awhile, so I'm not looking forward to that.  I don't know why I'm going into details.  I don't owe explanations.  Just know that Random Reviews won't be updated for a spell.

Album Cover of the Whatever

"Evil Elvis" just released Black Laden Crown, his first studio album of all-new material since 2010's Deth Red Sabaoth.  Real quick, I just wanted to say that his new jams aren't that bad.  Crown is being drubbed online, but aside from the mostly dilatory vocals, it sounds like classic Danzig to me.  As a matter of fact, "Pull the Sun" sports good singing.  GOOD!  As for Deth, that's a badass cover.  It's inarguable, dude.