Best Albums of 2024 (Part 2)

Honorable mentions are listed down below.  I have to say, 2024 was an excellent year for heavy music in general.  And I'm probably forgetting a few records, but enough babbling.  Let's do this!

5. Sebastian Bach ~ Child Within the Man

I'm just as surprised as anyone that Baz made this list, but hey, I dig what I dig.  In June, I wrote that this album is a "sprightly, dynamic slice of hard rock that features as many memorable choruses as it does guest guitar solos."  I'd call it a guilty pleasure if I believed in such a thing.

4. Jerry Cantrell ~ I Want Blood

No surprise here, as I'm prone to advocate whatever Jerry decides to release, whether it's branded as Alice in Chains or solo material.  It didn't click with me at first, but as I stated in November, it should tide me over until AIC rises from the grave.

3. Blood Incantation ~ Absolute Elsewhere

I'm guessing that the average metalhead is sick of seeing this aural space probe on every year-end list.  As much as I'd like to buck the trend, I have to admit that it's virtually flawless.  The caveat being, if you don't enjoy the band's cosmic trimmings, this is not the album for you.  I did have initial reservations, but in the end, both "The Stargate" and "The Message" won me over.

2. Opeth ~ The Last Will and Testament

I mean, they're only one of my favorite bands of all time.  Of course, that alone wouldn't guarantee a cozy spot on my list.  Yes, the growls are back, but musically, this is easily the best Opeth album since Watershed.  In fact, I might prefer it to Watershed.  Standout cuts?  "§2," "§6," and the heartbreakingly beautiful "A Story Never Told."  Well done, chaps.

1. Endonomos ~ II: Enlightenment

I'll say it until I'm blue in the face...if you're into death/doom, you need to check out Endonomos yesterday.  Their debut was stellar enough, but when it's all said and done, this could be the superior slab of immense, melancholic...what's another word for "heaviness?"  It's all wrapped in a crisp production job.  Try "Hostile" on for size.  You won't regret it.

Honorable Mentions

Svneatr - Never Return

Void Witch - Horripilating Presence

1349 - The Wolf & the King

Scald - Ancient Doom Metal

Chelsea Wolfe - She Reaches Out to She Reaches Out to She

Severe Torture - Torn from the Jaws of Death

Kvaen - The Formless Fires

My thoughts on Nosferatu...

I had zero expectations going into 2024's Nosferatu.  I assumed that director Robert Eggers would treat this particular horror icon with proper reverence, and he did.  This was never going to be an out-and-out goose egg.  Actually, I became more invested in the story than I thought I would, given how familiar these beats tend to be in the modern day.  We didn't need another Dracula film.  I'm not complaining, though.  I don't have much to complain about, aside from...I don't think this is a spoiler.  Is it?  No, you're safe.  Why - dear God, why - does Count Orlock have a moustache?

It's a cosmetic (and ultimately superficial) foible, but come now.  A moustache???  It took me right out of the staggering ambiance that Eggers worked so hard to establish.  Why couldn't we see a more traditional Orlock?  Everything else about Nosferatu brings tradition to mind, so why is our centuries-old vampire cosplaying as Magnum, P.I.?  Of course, the acting is phenomenal.  I loved Willem Dafoe as Professor von Franz, our Van Helsing equivalent.  Nicholas Hoult and Bill Skarsgard are fine-tuned as the protagonist and the antagonist, respectively.  But that moustache.  Whose idea was that?

Overall, Nosferatu is rock solid.  Maybe four Z'Dars.  I will say, it's not something that needs to be seen on the big screen.

Blood Capsule #254

SHADOWZONE (1990)

If you haven't noticed, I'm becoming a bit of a nerd for anything involving Charles Band.  This was one of the few non-franchise films from Full Moon's vaunted Paramount era.  There will be reviews of other quality motion pictures made during this fruitful period, but one b-movie at a time.  While the term "b-movie" could definitely be used to codify Shadowzone, it was actually made with a relatively healthy budget.  How healthy?  I mean, we're not talking rosy cheeks, but there is an exploding head in the first thirty minutes of action.  Unfortunately, that's where Shadowzone peaks.  The plot focuses on a research base that dovetails sleep study with aeronautic exploration.  A NASA captain is sent to formulate a progress report on the outpost, and what he finds is rather troubling.  The scientists are losing their patients (human guinea pigs, essentially).  At this point, I was beginning to lose my patience.  I'm too clever for my own good, y'know.

Um, it's a thing from another dimension.  It can mimic your DNA and replicate your inner fears and blah, blah, blah.  For half of the running time, Shadowzone is intriguing, and you watch in the hopes of seeing some kind of payoff.  But far too often, a character will be dispatched off-screen.  By a menace that is...off-screen.  Okay, we do get a zany monster at the very tail end, but take it from someone who has spent his entire adult life examining tail; it's not worth your while.  If it's any consolation, I enjoyed Louise Fletcher (yep, Nurse Ratched herself) as the token mad scientist.  She reminded me of Diane Ladd in Carnosaur.  Boy, that's a reference I wasn't expecting to make.  I sat through Shadowzone with a friend sitting next to me.  He threatened me with candy violence if I didn't write this review.  I hope you're happy, pal.

Recommended to fans of cryostasis chambers and Miguel Nunez.  Yeah, he's in this.

February is Mummy Month!

Go ahead and get excited.  I'll just pretend that no one guessed that February will be Mummy Month (I suppose I could have tried harder to keep it a secret)!  I'm touching on mummies from different decades.  Different worlds, really.  I don't think it will last for all of February, so you'll have to savor the magic while it's here.  March will see a return to the usual - randomized horrors.  April...well, that will be my next big announcement.  Contain yourself!?

Best Albums of 2024 (Part 1)

Okay, I'm counting down my top ten albums of the year.  I have seven honorable mentions this time out, but those will be included with Part 2.  These are simply ranked by how often I've returned to them throughout the year.  For example, I might think #10 is objectively better than #4 (which I don't, just an example), but for whatever reason, I didn't listen to it as much.  So those are the ground rules.  All genres are welcome, although I'll concede that this list is mostly metal.  Metal is, like, what I do.  Let's go!

10. Sarcasm ~ Mourninghoul

Whether you call them a melodic death metal band or a melodic black metal band, these Swedes have their default setting set to "destroy."  I dig everything they have ever released, but this one, in particular, is compulsively catchy.  My favorite tracks (or the ones I'm most likely to hum to myself while grocery shopping) are "Lifelike Sleep" and "A Lucid Dream in the Paradigm Stream."

9. Dool ~ The Shape of Fluidity

Less metal and more spooky rock, this is their third full-length album.  I could be wrong, but I believe they share members with The Devil's Blood.  This is actually what I have playing right now.

8. Unaussprechlichen Kulten ~ Haxan Sabaoth

Beastly stuff with Lovecraft flavoring.  In July, I wrote that this record is "thronged with dank, smelly riffs that are broken up by intermittent blastbeats and inoculated with a heavy dose of occult atmosphere."  Huh, I should quote myself more often.

7. Suldusk ~ Anthesis

Dreamy, witchy black metal.  Female-fronted, not that it matters.  NOTE: That's not the album cover.  The actual cover features nudity, so I'm erring on the side of caution for once.

6. My Silent Wake ~ Lost in Memories, Lost in Grief

Contemplative death/doom.  I just discovered this thing a couple of weeks ago, but I knew it had to be on this list.  It turns out that I've written about the vocalist before without realizing it.  I gushed over his side project (Thy Listless Heart) in a past edition of Now Playing.  It's a small world?  By the way, this is classified as doom, but much of the music is delivered with a mid-paced gallop.  You don't have to be a doomhead to appreciate it.

Look out for Part 2 in four, maybe five days!

Blood Capsule #253

JACK FROST (2022)

People, people...have we not learned from our mistakes?  Wasn't 1997's Jack Frost enough of a blight on mankind to prevent something like this from ever happening again?  I am writing this review for one reason and one reason only - to save your eyeballs from taking a chance on Jack Frost (alternately known as Curse of Jack Frost) because of the innocuous title.  After all, could it be any worse than the "killer snowman" romp of the same name?  Yes.  Yes, it could.  Perhaps I was naive for plucking it out of the discount bin.  Regardless, I watched it.  And I suffered.  You can tell that the premise thinks it's cute.  We learn from an animated prologue (easily the least offensive part of this viral infection) that Santa once cast ol' Jack out of his kingdom.  The biblical dichotomy is just...it's just too much.  As such, our villain is characterized as a cross between a jester and a scorned elf.

How is it possible that Funnyman is still the best "evil jester" movie nearly thirty years after its release?  Why can't anyone figure out how to crack the code?  At any rate, we meet a family who never celebrates Christmas.  When they decide to make an exception for a visiting relative, Grandma gets pissed (angry, not drunk).  Her parents were slaughtered during the yuletide season, but the rest of the household brushes off her trigger warnings.  Y'know, I side with Grandma.  Her kids are being disrespectful little twits.  They deserve to be flash-frozen by an ice demon, and that's precisely what happens.  By the way, Mr. Frost is an improbably ineffectual monster who delivers cornball dialogue before wrapping his victims in colored lights.  He's stupid.  I feel stupid for having wasted three bucks on Jack Frost.  Recommended to fans of hypothermia.

Fishman False Alarm

I thought I had found an undiscovered "fishman" movie, but don't get too excited.  The movie in question?  1957's Swamp of the Lost Souls, a Mexican western/horror hybrid that seems to have it all...gothic overtones, missing cadavers, dancing horses (???), a convoluted insurance scam, and yes, a fishman.  Sadly, the monster is revealed to be a guy in a costume.  Lame.  Lost Souls is notable for being an early riff on Creature from the Black Lagoon (and for the fact that it's in color), but it's not worth your time.  Back to the drawing board!

Blood Capsule #252

THE EVIL (1978)

If I didn't switch up subgenres and keep a fairly motley range of films in my viewing rotation, I might have balked at the clichés found in The Evil.  Truth be told, it has been a month of Sundays since I took in an "old dark house" relic.  And this is a pretty good one.  The plot is simple enough.  A group of psychologists hole up in an abandoned mansion with the aim of using it as a rehabilitation clinic.  There are ghosts.  End of synopsis.  Richard Crenna plays C.J., the resident skeptic, and he seems a bit reserved.  Joanna Pettet turns in a solid performance as the supernaturally susceptible wife.  I have to wonder why she doesn't speak up when she sees spooky spirits ten minutes into the thing, but I guess that's where suspension of disbelief comes into clarity.  You have to meet these characters halfway.  Admittedly, I was a willing participant.

If you can look past ungainly dialogue, there are plenty of goose pimples to go around.  I loved the in-camera effects, especially the shots I couldn't see through.  The Evil supplies impeccable entertainment for a cold, blustery night.  I would have no compunction about awarding it four Z'Dars if it weren't for the silly ending.  This is a "no spoiler" zone, but what the hell?  Were there any test screenings?  If so, did the producers chuck the notes into the nearest wastebasket?  Still, I suggest giving The Evil a whirl.  It's a grand slice of low-key 70's horror, even with the disappointing finale.  Recommended to fans of The Legacy, The Legend of Hell House, and any version of The Old Dark House.  And A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child.  Just kidding...had to make sure you were paying attention.

Announcement announcement!

Next Friday, I'll be announcing the theme for February.  Yep, I'm doing another theme month where every Blood Capsule falls under specific guidelines.  The image above is a clue.  The question is, what are Abbott and Costello reacting to?  Try to guess.  If you guess correctly, you will win...nothing!

Blood Capsule #251

FROGMAN (2023)

I don't know why I added this film to my collection.  I would say the price was right, but it really wasn't.  To top it off, Frogman employs the "found footage" gimmick.  This is a subgenre that usually leaves me cold, so I had no business sitting down and trying to enjoy this thing.  But you know what?  I enjoyed this thing.  It has the same exoskeleton as The Blair Witch Project.  I know, that's an obvious touchstone, but hang with me.  You don't know where I'm going.  You have entered "hot take" territory, by the way.  Try this on for size; Frogman is the movie that Blair Witch wanted to be.  Do I sound insane yet?  I can't help it.  Frogman is simply more absorbing.  I realize that no one asked me to make this comparison, but both flicks follow three root characters as they try to validate a cryptid.  In this case, it's the Frogman of Ohio, a real local legend that has proven to be a hit with tourists.

Horror is just as subjective as comedy or science fiction, so you may not warm up to the main players as much as I did.  If I wasn't won over by Dallas, Amy, and Scotty, Frogman would have flopped.  They have genuine chemistry, more so than the three filmmakers in Blair Witch.  Okay, I'll drop it.  Why do I have a feeling that I'm in the vast minority here?  Frogman isn't pitch-perfect.  If you think about the concept too long, you'll begin to see holes in the architecture, so to speak.  I still had fun unraveling the mystery of the titular polliwog.  Special effects are used sparingly, but we do get...well, I won't spoil anything.  Even if you don't care for Frogman, you must concede that it's better than 1972's Frogs.  It's a whitewash (or a greenwash).

Best of?

Actual photograph of me listening to music.

Give me another week or two, and I'll be ready to deliver my list of the Best Albums of 2024.  I want to make sure I hear as much as possible.  That's proving to be quite the challenge, as I discover new bands on a daily basis.  If I didn't have an Internet connection, the list would be compiled by now.  But of course, I wouldn't be able to share it with all of you, now would I?

Blood Capsule #250

BUG (1975)

I couldn't find my copy of 1979's Bog, and I've already seen 1988's Big.  So that leaves us with Bug, the last film written by intrepid showman William Castle.  Actually, this was Castle's final project in any capacity.  I rented it back in Netflix's "red envelope" era, but I didn't get a chance to watch it before mailing it back.  It's just as well.  I don't think I was ready for this flick.  I was fresh out of high school and still teething as a horror fanatic.  Bug would have been too weird for me then, but now?  I'm able to eat this stuff up.  Given the release date, you might expect it to be a paint-by-numbers "creepy crawly" vehicle a la Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo.  And it starts by taking that route, but Castle throws in an earthquake for good measure.  When tectonic plates convulse in a rural area on the outskirts of San Francisco, roach-like insects are vaulted to the surface.  These aren't your everyday insectoids, though.  Paragraph!

Break!  The formerly subterranean bugs make sparks fly - both literally and figuratively - by rubbing their legs together.  Professor Parmiter compares them to boy scouts.  Of course, I don't know many boy scouts who singe through human flesh and cause small explosions around town.  Castle gets a sick thrill out of setting up gross-out scares.  I mean, you can't blame him.  The scenes in which the pyromaniac pests nestle beneath a telephone receiver and perch on a woman's shoulder are undoubtedly effective.  Pacing-wise, Bug is a slow burn (no pun intended).  The film shifts gears at the hour mark as Parmiter slowly loses his wits.  This is probably where most viewers check out, but to me, the third act is what sets Bug apart from its contemporaries.  I dig the fact that we get to witness the scientist before and after he goes mad.  Plus, you feel as though you're going insane with the mad scientist.

The near-apocalyptic finale is glorious.  It's all guns blazing, to steal an idiom from Rob Halford.  Recommended to fans of The Tingler and boll weevils.

The Japanese one-sheet.

Reptilicus comic book!?

If you glance over at the Upcoming Review Schedule, you'll notice that I'll be talking about a certain "giant reptile" flick on the first day of 2025.  Hate to ruin the surprise, but yeah, it's Reptilicus.  I just couldn't wait to talk about this, though.  What is this?  It's a movie tie-in Reptilicus comic book pumped out by Charlton Comics.  Charlton has also published comics for Konga and Gorgo.  They were a low-budget company that was absorbed by DC upon going "tits up," as the Brits would say.

Officially, there are two issues of Reptilicus.  The copyright lapsed before Charlton got around to releasing a third issue, so the series pivoted to become Reptisaurus the Terrible for the rest of its run.  I live for this kind of random sci-fi/horror media, so you better believe I bought a copy.  To be exact, I bought #2.  For whatever reason, the first issue is exorbitantly priced on eBay.  It's borderline unreasonable, if you ask me.  Maybe someday.  I do plan on buying at least a couple issues of Reptisaurus the Terrible because...well, how can I not?

Interestingly, Reptilicus #2 seems to be a sequel of sorts to the film.  By the way, I don't love Reptilicus.  But it's Reptilicus!  It's kind of fascinating if you're a jaded horror scholar.  The only thing more enjoyable than nonsense is obscure nonsense.  The comic itself is super fun.  It's filled to the brim with gratuitous exclamation points and ridiculous alliteration.  Despite the fact that this intellectual property continued as Reptisaurus the Terrible, the titular snake-dragon is vanquished in the end.  I'm curious as to how the story is stretched out (beyond reason, I'm sure).

So there you have it.  I will soon be your number one source for Reptilicus information.  Check out my Patreon?

Blood Capsule #249

SCARED STIFF (1987)

As long as I can keep finding mid-level horrors stuck in the nether-realms of obscurity, I'll keep reviewing them.  And I'll be a happy dude.  Some might say that Scared Stiff had a low budget, but those people haven't seen the films that I have.  This is downright cushy entertainment.  As for why it's obscure, I would just put the blame on oversaturation.  This isn't a bad movie per se.  At first, you think you're slinking into a traditional scare pic, as it operates within a well-trodden "haunted house" framework.  A pop star (named Kate, I think) moves into a new abode with her son and her psychiatrist boyfriend.  Naturally, the place has a cryptic, blood-freezing past.  The former tenant was a wicked slave owner.  He was so wicked, in fact, that his slaves conjured up a confusing hex involving amulets and old-fashioned thaumaturgy.  Could the house itself be cursed?  That would explain the bones in the attic.  You didn't know about the bones in the attic, did you?

Scared Stiff is a tale of two halves.  For a good 45 minutes, it does the thing where one person reports having seen supernatural activity and no one believes them.  That...that was annoying.  But then the rubber meets the road (or whatever).  In this case, the rubber is a latex monster mask that literally comes to life.  Director Richard Friedman has fun with inventive dream sequences, and astonishingly, manages to capture a few creepy images.  Kudos to child actor Josh Segal.  I believed that he was traumatized (at least I hope he was acting).  The music video angle is a tad silly, but it was 1987.  The soundtrack has its fans.  I know this because I have an Internet connection.  Scared Stiff isn't going to blow anyone away, but it does enough to warrant a weekend recommendation.  If it premiered on Shudder today, it would be hailed as a "masterclass in folk horror."  So there's that.

My thoughts on Werewolves...

It seems that Werewolves is a little late on the trend train, but that's the least of its problems.  I have to sigh...I wanted to have dumb fun with this flick.  It's important to note that it has "studio notes" written all over it.  I don't believe for a second that this is the film that director Steven C. Miller wanted to deliver to the moviegoing public.  Not only does it feel like there are chunks missing from the narrative, it feels like there is a whole movie sitting on the editing room floor.  Werewolves is a sequel to something we never saw.  I mean, the werewolves look cool.  That's the only positive comment I can put together.  Yikes.

"Is it that bad, Dom?"  Yes, it's that bad.  Run-of-the-mill characters are introduced to be slain a few scenes later, and we're supposed to react as if we care.  The strobe lighting makes it impossible to see much of anything.  The camera is always too close to the action.  The arbitrary plot is swarming with holes.  The acting from some of the supplementary players is objectively off-target.  I repeat, yikes.

In a random bit of near-stunt casting, Lou Diamond Phillips shows up for two or three scenes as Dr. Exposition.  What on Earth drew him to Werewolves?  His inclusion made me realize that I should have just watched Bats again.

Blood Capsule #248

NIGHT OF THE DEMONS 2 (1994)

Here we have another flick that just missed the cutoff for Random Sequel Month (a second edition may be in order).  I'll start by establishing a base.  I love, love, love Kevin Tenney's Night of the Demons.  Apart from the admittedly drowsy third act, it stands as one of the most accomplished party movies out there.  The autumnal vibes are real.  While this follow-up doesn't have the sick opening credits animation of its forebear, it does come correct with cauldrons of spooky atmosphere.  Angela's mousy sister attends a Catholic school where authority figures allow for a flavorless, buttoned-up Halloween party.  Of course, we follow a group of friends with more adventurous plans.  Why not go to Hull House?  A quick interjection, if I may...where did this trope come from?  Honestly, has a group of young people ever chosen to do something like this in reality?  Sorry, that's always bugged me.

It isn't long before Angela is up to her old tricks.  Our ensemble of attractive co-eds manages to skirt by alright (thanks, in part, to skirts), but I missed Stooge and Suzanne.  Okay, I missed Suzanne.  I don't see why Linnea Quigley can't appear in every single movie I watch.  Don't get me wrong; the acting is serviceable.  However, I spent the bulk of the running time waiting for the characters to die in ghastly, salacious ways.  To that end, Night of the Demons 2 delivers in the home stretch.  I'm going to make a bold statement.  The last ten minutes are kinda brilliant.  Seriously, Angela's serpent form?  Pure nightmare fuel.  Alas, the first eighty minutes are inconsistent at best.  Random trivia!  Director Brian Trenchard-Smith helmed Leprechaun 3 and Leprechaun 4: In Space.  Oddly, two of the folks in this film - Zoe Trilling and, um, Guy with Stupid Hair - also pop up in Dr. Giggles.  So now you know.

Break?

I own way too many R.L. Stine books.  I've started three of them, and I have no idea if I'll finish one of them.  But that's irrelevant.  The point of this post is to say that I might take a break from writing Blood Capsules?  When I first started the Upcoming Review Schedule, I was five reviews ahead of the curve.  I figured that's where it would stay, but at press time, I'm ten reviews deep.  All written, all ready to go.  So I could easily take a break for the holidays.

And yet, I do enjoy writing these things, even if no one reads them.  Honestly, this proposed "break" might only last a few days.  Also!  I'm pondering a sequel to Random Sequel Month.  Yay or nay?  Let a cripple know, yo.

Blood Capsule #247

STING OF DEATH (1966)

For the sake of convenience, I'm going to refer to the monster in this movie as a were-jellyfish.  It's actually a Portuguese man o' war.  Yes, there is a difference, and no, I don't care enough to renumerate those differences.  Who do I look like, George Costanza?  Anyway, it's more fun saying "were-jellyfish."  You might be wondering if this creature is beholden to a transformation cycle.  The moon is moot, but a man does mutate into a gelatinous marine predator with tendrils and a bell (a trash bag), to boot.  The man is Egon, the deformed assistant to noted biologist Dr. Richardson.  They have a compound in the Everglades where they experiment on various aquatic lifeforms.  When college kids crash the place and mock poor Egon, bikini-clad babes turn up dead or missing.  Purple terror ensues.

This is a spirited mish-mash of The Horror of Party Beach and...Gidget maybe?  You can substitute any "beach party" movie.  For instance, I was reminded of Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine on more than one occasion.  If I had to hazard a guess, I would put the budget in the five-digit range.  That's lowballing it, but I must admit, Sting of Death is gorgeous.  I dig the crisp underwater photography and the bizarro lighting that makes everything look like an Easter egg.  On the downside, you have to wade through a lot of Neil Sadaka songs to get to the good stuff.  Patience is rewarded, so I advise you to "do the jellyfish."  NOTE: Performing such an act may result in chills and/or fatigue.  Sting of Death is commonly associated with 1966's Death Curse of Tartu, as they were both directed by William Grefe.  Of course, I own the double feature DVD (thank you, Something Weird).

Recommended to fans of bioluminescence and volleyball.

The Spanish one-sheet.

Random Match Alert

I was going to post a match relating to last night's Survivor Series, but that wouldn't be very random, now would it?  Besides, this is an awesome find.  Bret Hart squares off against Hakushi inside a steel cage...!  WWE needs to promote whomever is in charge of uploading dark matches to YouTube.