Rassle Inn #53

So the Royal Rumble was last night, and...um, I'm trying to piece together what happened.  I dipped into the calming recesses of slumber during the midsection of the men's Rumble, and while I did snap out of it for the final four, I'm not 100% clear on how we got there.  I also can't gauge whether or not any of it was exciting.  Man, I think I need to watch it again.  Of course, I know the victor.  Yay?  I'm undecided on where I stand in regards to these results, but I'll give 'em this much; I can't predict the next few months.  I thought for sure that John Cena was heading for the main event of Wrestlemania, and yeah, he could still get there.  That's the key.  We don't really know what's going to happen next.

I'm not sure how Jey Uso got so popular.  More power to him, I suppose.  My main takeaway from the 2025 Royal Rumble?  Where the hell is A.J. Lee???  No fair!  The women's Rumble had its fair share of surprises (for instance, it will be interesting to see where Alexa Bliss goes from here), but the one person I wanted to see was a no-show.  I refuse to believe that she'll sit on the sidelines much longer.  She has to come back, right?  Right?  As for the rest of the card, it definitely existed.  It's funny; apart from the influx of talent that materialized in the wake of WCW's dissolution, the roster has never been this large.  And yet, there were only four matches last night.  Bloat in the WWE is at an all-time high.  I think Roman Reigns is still on his way to the ring.

Let's see...what else can I talk about?  AEW?  Perish the thought.  Fans were genuinely excited to see Kenny Omega and Will Ospreay swan dive onto a generic heel faction, but is it leading to anything?  Why wasn't Omega hand-picked to take down those dastardly Death Riders?  Speaking of which, gee golly bum, that's not going very well, is it?  The storyline seemed promising when Shane McMahon was rumored to be involved, but those rumors have since dissipated.  I'm not rooting against AEW.  I dig many of the wrestlers that we see on Wednesday (and Saturday, though I haven't tuned in lately) nights, but the shows are booked by a 40-year-old teenager.  That isn't necessarily pejorative on my part, by the way.  I see myself as a 40-year-old teenager.  But I'm not in charge of AEW.

No, I shouldn't be in charge of AEW.  That would be truly apocalyptic.  I'll try not to wait three months before I tackle the next Rassle Inn, but no promises.  Sometimes, it feels as if Tony Khan is booking my life.  Perish the thought, indeed.