LOBSTER MAN FROM MARS (1989)
I know I've been writing a lot of disclaimers lately (or so it seems), but I have another one for you. This isn't a horror film. By strict definition, it was probably in the comedy section at Blockbuster. For reasons that will become obvious, it's perfect for me. It does borrow from horror about as much as it borrows from science fiction. Of course, with a title like Lobster Man from Mars, it could be a concourse of commercial breaks taped off of The Discovery Channel, and I would still watch it. The plot harnesses one of my favorite tropes, that being the movie-within-a-movie angle. Tony Curtis plays J.P. Shelldrake, a role originally intended for Orson Welles (he died before production got underway). He's a big shot Hollywood producer who has commissioned so many hits, his accountant informs him that he needs to lose money on a picture to outmaneuver the IRS. Essentially, he needs an infallible flop. That's when he meets Stevie Horowitz, a young filmmaker with the misdirected gumption of Ed Wood.
Right off the bat, I see a flaw. It's the only flaw, so hear me out. Stevie screens his film for Mr. Shelldrake. The film at hand is "Lobster Man from Mars," which is supposed to be embarrassingly inadequate. The premise of this whole ordeal hinges on Stevie's pet project being an absolute joke, but...it's not that bad. It's actually entertaining. Like, incredibly entertaining. Maybe I'm revealing my taste (if you're new here, my taste should always be called into question), but I couldn't find anything wrong with it. Not even the special effects are as deplorable as Lobster Man from Mars wants you to believe. It's worth noting that 90% of the movie is the movie-within-a-movie. So when you rent Lobster Man from Mars from Blockbuster, just know that you're basically renting Lobster Man from Mars. And that's stupendous, if you ask me. I was utterly captivated by the story of an extraterrestrial crustacean entrusted with the responsibility of retrieving ten pascals* of Earth air and bringing them back to Mars. You will be, too.
I can't sign off without mentioning the fact that Lobster Man from Mars has a secret weapon. Any guesses? Space bats! You can't leave home without 'em.
*I took the liberty of dreaming up that statistic. It sounded scientific.
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