PS-I watched 1955's The Quatermass Experiment last night via Amazon Prime. Too busy to review it at the moment, but man, I highly recommend it. It's all sorts of cool.
2/21/25
MMP '25
The Dark Power?
So The Dark Power is a mix between Demon Warrior and Neon Maniacs. And I was hoping it would be good fodder for a Blood Capsule, but...nope. It just sucks. I need to be inspired in order to write, and I've just seen way too much junk lately. Yes, I realize this is all my fault. Back to the drawing board. Man, these must be the residual effects of Mummy Month. Ick.
2/20/25
Random Match Alert
I've got a deep cut for you today. How about Luna Vachon versus Miss Texas (Jacqueline) down in USWA? Unsurprisingly, they have a solid, albeit abbreviated match. Watch out for the run-in by a young Vampire Warrior (that would be Gangrel).
2/19/25
Blood Capsule #269
DAWN OF THE MUMMY (1981)
Y'know, if this was the first mummy movie I had watched in February, I would have had more fun with it. Still, I would put it on top of the pile (that doesn't say much for the pile). Dawn of the Mummy works off of the blueprint drawn up by Italian zombie flicks. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was directed by Lucio Fulci. These mummies claw their way out of the earth just like the worm-encrusted undead. Nevermind the fact that mummies in horror films are zombies. Their faces are free of bandages, so yeah, you might as well call them zombies. Shot on location, Dawn follows fashion models and photographers as they try to take advantage of the pulchritudinous milieu (sorry, I fed my thesaurus after midnight) of sand dunes and pyramids. Naturally, they disturb the resting place of King...um, I'm sure he had a name. Should I have taken notes? Naaaah. Counting subordinates, there are close to a dozen mummies all told. I only noticed the one dawn.
The pacing is languid and almost rigid. It takes a solid hour for characters to begin dying, which is how you know this wasn't directed by Lucio Fulci. We do get embellished gore in the form of neck-chomping and gut-munching. Unfortunately, a lot of the detail is lost on account of rampant, unchecked darkness. Then again, the version I watched was on Amazon Prime. Maybe it's a different story on disc. Regardless, Dawn of the Mummy is a worthwhile sit once it gets rolling. I feel the need to repeat that this was my sixth mummy romp in a row. The viewing experience is going to suffer. I've said everything I can say about sand, gauze, leaves, and Ra (don't forget Ra). Recommended to fans of Zombie Holocaust, City of the Living Dead, and ill-advised skinny dipping. And R.L. Stine's Return of the Mummy.
2/17/25
Content, content, content...
I don't know how others view this website, if they view it at all. This is probably just seen as another blog, but I see myself as a content creator. I'm no different than a YouTuber, which by the way...YouTube is getting clued in on the Patreon model. You can now "join" a person's YouTube channel and support them monetarily. I'm hoping this normalizes the whole process because I always feel weird shilling my Patreon. The truth is, every dollar helps. Yes, even one dollar helps keep the site going, as it inspires the hell out of me and kicks my keister into overdrive.
So click HERE and maybe one day, I'll write a 1,000-word essay on The Supernaturals, a nifty "war zombie" movie you probably haven't seen. Maybe one day...
2/15/25
Blood Capsule #268
DAY OF THE MUMMY (2014)
Last year's In a Violent Nature made waves with its novel "POV" approach. We saw all of the action through the eyes of its killer. Personally, I never saw it, so I can't comment on the methodology, be it in theory or in execution. Most genre fans know that 2012's Maniac remake beat it to the punch anyway. What you may not (want to) know is that there is another film that proudly wears this gimmick like a badge of honor. Day of the Mummy is relayed through the eyes of its protagonist, an archeologist paid to find a precious diamond. Of course, the stone is sequestered in the tomb of the mighty, possibly nefarious King Neferu. So this b-jewel doubles as a "found footage" flick. Just my luck.
By the way, the footage is being recorded for an eccentric magnate played by Danny Glover, of all people. I hope he was paid handsomely, even if his performance isn't exactly...inspired? Dude looks tired. It's readily apparent that his scenes were shot in one afternoon. I'm not going to besmirch the man. He deserves to rest on his laurels, and honestly, he's the best thing here. I did like the mummy. He could actually be classified as monstrous, and yes, he roars. Why shouldn't he roar? Wouldn't you roar if you were in this movie? Andrea Monier plays the token hot chick. I don't know why I bothered to look up her name. Can you tell that Mummy Month is nearing its terminus? I'm so close to the finish line, I can practically smell the tana leaves. Oh, I almost forgot; don't watch Day of the Mummy. It's an empty sarcophagus that I shouldn't have exhumed.
2/14/25
Random Song Alert
Just spitballing, but I'm thinking of posting a song every once in awhile. Because. For example, this is my favorite song on the lone Agents of Oblivion record. Jam it!
2/12/25
Blood Capsule #267
THE LEMON GROVE KIDS MEET THE MONSTERS (1968)
I've said this before, but certain films defy description. This is...this. Am I making any sense? Genre-wise, this is a manifold cocktail (mummy moonshine?), blending experimental horror, science fiction, and madcap comedy. Everything begins to make sense once you discover that The Lemon Grove Kids Meet the Monsters was sutured together by Ray Dennis Steckler. Ray, if you're reading, I hate you. The Chooper wasn't pestilent enough? You had to sour the soil with this maladjusted melange, this mingle-mangle of manure? Folks, you have to see this mess for yourself to believe that it exists. Technically, it's a composite of three shorts, each one a "loving" homage to the Bowery Boys series from the 1940's. I have to assume that you have no idea what I'm talking about. The Bowery Boys were basically the Little Rascals, advanced in age. They were aimed at children, children who are probably dead now.
Because Steckler watched this stuff in his youth, he had to come up with the Lemon Grove Kids. Billed as Cash Flagg, he stars as Gopher, the simpleton of the bunch. At one point, he crosses paths with a random mummy. That's why I'm covering this b-nugget. For five minutes (give or take), Meet the Monsters turns into a White Zombie music video. And it's awesome, but again, this accounts for five minutes (give or take). I won't pretend that I wasn't mildly entertained by the second short, a hallucinogenic anomaly entitled "The Lemon Grove Kids Meet the Green Grasshopper and the Vampire Lady From Outer Space." I also won't pretend that any sane person should ever watch this...this for any reason. Two of the side creatures are credited as Choopers (#1 and #2). Pfft, I'm onto you, Ray Dennis Steckler. I have your number, which in all probability, is a negative integer.
2/11/25
Weee arrrrrrrrre...the enemies of reality!
Every so often, I'll write about the records I've been spinning (figuratively speaking) in between my usual Now Playing posts. I just like to write about music period, even if no one reads this stuff. For instance, I've recently rediscovered my love for Nevermore due, in part, to the news of their "reunion." What a freaking band. Aside from the eponymous debut, which I admit I've neglected, every record is a banger, as the kids would say. Last night, I jammed Enemies of Reality. It tends to get passed over on account of well-documented production issues, but if you're listening to the Andy Sneap mix, it's full of - again - bangers. I need to stop using that word. Favorites would have to be "Ambivalent," "Tomorrow Turned into Yesterday," "I, Voyager," and the curt, catchy "Who Decides."
I highly recommend Warrel Dane's solo albums. Also, check out Jeff Loomis's solo albums. Man, it's a shame that guy was wasted in Arch Enemy. But that's an editorial for another day.
2/8/25
Blood Capsule #266
TIME WALKER (1982)
This film should be an easy recommendation. I have two words for you...alien mummy. Yes, Time Walker dares to tell the story of an alien who has been mummified and squirreled away in the tomb of King Tut. The mummy is discovered the usual way. You've got your university, your levelheaded archeologist, and his nondescript students. I think that's the problem. Time Walker feels as though it's going through the motions when it should be a brain-boggling amusement park attraction. Folks, the mummy levitates. I nearly did a spit take the first time I saw it float through the night air. And yet, this isn't an easy recommendation. Our bandaged malefactor is after five crystals that, when interlaced into position, will disseminate him (her?) back into space. I suppose the last ten minutes are worth watching if you didn't have to contend with the first eighty.
Blood Capsules are typically two paragraphs long, but to be honest, I've drained this mummy dry. Nevermind the fact that it was already dehydrated. I did like the green-tinted "mummy POV" shots. Technically, our ostensible villain undergoes a babyface turn, but of course, that's after three people have been murdered. There is no gore, by the way. Time Walker has the audacity to conclude with a "to be continued" title card. Apparently, this was meant to be turned into a TV series. Woof. I'm awarding an extra half-Z'Dar for the ridiculous ending. This is one stargazer that makes you take pity on the moon.
2/6/25
Mummy Munster
One of my most diverting discoveries of 2024 was chancing upon Amazon Prime's selection of live TV channels. They have several channels that appeal to horror dorks such as myself. At press time, my favorite is the Universal Monsters channel that runs episodes of The Munsters every single day. For obvious reasons, "Mummy Munster" is a notable episode. Herman is mistaken for a mummy when he falls asleep at a museum. Chicanery ensues. I would link you, but I don't know if The Munsters is available to watch anywhere online without a subscription of some sort.
If you take advantage of everything that Amazon Prime offers, it pays for itself. For example, the Universal Monsters channel is currently showing Son of Dracula. I ask you, who needs a cable box when Lon Chaney Jr. is usually within reach?
2/5/25
Blood Capsule #265
ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET THE MUMMY (1955)
This was a chore. I'm already regretting Mummy Month, but I'll soldier on. After all, I only have myself to blame. I don't think I fall in the target demographic for this film. Now that I mention it, I'm wondering who these goofballs would have appealed to in the mid-50's. Children maybe? By this point, their run in the spotlight was just about over. Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy was their last picture for Universal. Their act feels stale, but I should recuse myself. Again, it's 2025, and I'm not sure what I was supposed to take away from this skylark. The titular duo plays a pair of "adventurers" tasked with escorting the mummified remains of Prince Klaris back to America. Nerdy trivia! The mummy in Universal's horror sequels was named Prince Kharis. Of course, there is a sacred medallion involved, and of course, it reveals the location of a tomb loaded with untold treasures.
One of the reasons why I don't collect comedies is that there are too many of them that rely on a single joke. The joke here is that Costello is an idiot. That's it. For some reason, it's easier for me to buy a walking mummy than it is to buy a full-grown adult so ignorant, he eats jewelry. To be fair, I cracked a smile here and there. By and large, Meet the Mummy's shtick did not click with yours truly. Ah, but what about the mummy? Our embalmed monster...wait a second. Mummies aren't embalmed, are they? Regardless, the role of Prince Klaris is downplayed to the extent that we don't see much mummy action until after the hour mark. I do like the fact that the mummy snarls. Small victory? I haven't seen it in years, but it seemed that the horror elements were more pronounced in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. This flick shortchanges the viewer when it comes to overt spookdom.
Recommended to obsessive-compulsive completists, which doesn't explain how I own a copy.
2/2/25
Rassle Inn #53
I'm not sure how Jey Uso got so popular. More power to him, I suppose. My main takeaway from the 2025 Royal Rumble? Where the hell is A.J. Lee??? No fair! The women's Rumble had its fair share of surprises (for instance, it will be interesting to see where Alexa Bliss goes from here), but the one person I wanted to see was a no-show. I refuse to believe that she'll sit on the sidelines much longer. She has to come back, right? Right? As for the rest of the card, it definitely existed. It's funny; apart from the influx of talent that materialized in the wake of WCW's dissolution, the roster has never been this large. And yet, there were only four matches last night. Bloat in the WWE is at an all-time high. I think Roman Reigns is still on his way to the ring.
Let's see...what else can I talk about? AEW? Perish the thought. Fans were genuinely excited to see Kenny Omega and Will Ospreay swan dive onto a generic heel faction, but is it leading to anything? Why wasn't Omega hand-picked to take down those dastardly Death Riders? Speaking of which, gee golly bum, that's not going very well, is it? The storyline seemed promising when Shane McMahon was rumored to be involved, but those rumors have since dissipated. I'm not rooting against AEW. I dig many of the wrestlers that we see on Wednesday (and Saturday, though I haven't tuned in lately) nights, but the shows are booked by a 40-year-old teenager. That isn't necessarily pejorative on my part, by the way. I see myself as a 40-year-old teenager. But I'm not in charge of AEW.
No, I shouldn't be in charge of AEW. That would be truly apocalyptic. I'll try not to wait three months before I tackle the next Rassle Inn, but no promises. Sometimes, it feels as if Tony Khan is booking my life. Perish the thought, indeed.
2/1/25
Blood Capsule #264
BRAM STOKER'S THE MUMMY (1997)
Surely you remember seeing this VHS cover at your local video store in the late 90's. I don't know why (no one does), but there was a sweltering spate of mummy movies at the time. With one notable exception, these were all straight-to-video clinkers, and before you ask...no, I'm not reviewing Universal's Brendan Fraser spectacle. I'm here for the bottom feeders. Look at me talking down to this flick when, in reality, it could almost pass for presentable entertainment for the "commoners." Almost. It does star Louis Gossett Jr., and man, he chews the scenery like he hasn't eaten for days. More on casting later. The Mummy was technically adapted from Bram Stoker's The Jewel of Seven Stars, but how faithful is it? Don't ask me. I can't be expected to bone up on classic literature, unless we're discussing the merits of R.L. Stine (I typed that with my reading glasses resting on the bridge of my nose).
In doing research for this capsule, I learned that the film was co-written and directed by the same fellow who shepherded The Kindred. This was his last non-TV feature until 2018. Most curious. The lion's share of the action takes place in a fairly humdrum mansion (I mean, as far as mansions go). A doctor, a detective, and an art historian gather at the bedside of an incapacitated Egyptologist at the behest of his daughter. The old sod has been tinkering with ancient artifacts, namely a seven-sided ruby that belonged to a deposed queen. Obviously, iniquitous powers of sand and gauze are unleashed in the form of an unruly mummy hiding out in the basement. Pros? We get to see the mummy kill morons in embarrassing ways. There is even a mummy toddler in a scene ripped straight out of the Charles Band playbook. Cons? This is a talky, labored watch. The running time on the box says 96 minutes, but I swear I was sitting in front of Bram Stoker's The Mummy for at least five hours.
I'm going with three Z'Dars because...eh, it wasn't agonizing, especially compared to the rest of the lineup I've assembled for Mummy Month. Egads. Recommended to fans of Home Improvement who wish they could have seen the episode where Al Borland bangs a prostitute. Yeah, that's what I needed in my life.
1/30/25
Now Playing #17
Evilfeast - Funeral Sorcery
In recent weeks, I've made a conscious effort to listen to more atmospheric black metal. I went through an atmoblack phase about 10-15 years ago, but at some point, this quasi-genre lost its luster. There is only so much you can pull from songs that dwell on Carpathian winds. And yet, I quite like "Carpathian Winds," the fourth track on Evilfeast's second long player. When I'm in the mood for this kind of stuff, I suppose I could listen to any number of Scandinavian acts. Here lately, this Polish one-man project has been doing the trick. There is nothing groundbreaking here. "I Reach the Winter Twilight," for example, contains plenty of frosty riffs and a flurry of synth melodies. The production is sensibly raw, meaning you can at least tell it was recorded indoors. I think. Evilfeast is listed as "active" on The Metal Archives, but it's worth mentioning that the last studio offering came out in 2017.
Also worth mentioning? If you want to get into Evilfeast, any record would serve as a righteous starting point. As far as rad titles go, Funeral Sorcery wins the day.
Blazing Eternity - A Certain End of Everything
I didn't discover this album until earlier this month. Otherwise, it would have been featured rather prominently on my "Best of 2024" list. Blazing Eternity peddle a frothy blend of epic doom and melodic death metal. I've read several reviews that compare them (favorably) to early Katatonia, but if I had to finger a contemporary touchstone, I'd go with Mother of Graves. You do need to have a taste for "sadboi" music, as it's called. Expect to hear glum guitar harmonies and occasional clean vocals that approach your ears with the tempered grace of soft rainfall. Hmm, I only allow myself one saccharine metaphor per paragraph. I better wrap this up before I go over budget, so to speak. Let me LINK you to the lead single from A Certain End of Everything. A fair warning, if I may...it's going to be stuck in your head for the rest of the afternoon (or evening, depending on when you read this).
1/29/25
Blood Capsule #263
DEADTIME STORIES (1986)
I haven't touched an anthology in quite some time. They tend to be hit/miss propositions, often within the same film. I have long held the belief that Deadtime Stories had a favorable failure-to-success ratio, and after giving it a rewatch, I can confirm that my assessment was right on the money. It's always nice to agree with yourself. There are three "vignettes" at play. They are relayed to the viewer as bedtime stories being told to a little boy by his tired uncle. Man, this guy doesn't blink at telling some morbid tales, does he? He wants the kid to go to sleep, so why give him nightmares? Anyway, the deadtime stories in Deadtime Stories involve a coven of cagey crones, a modern twist on Little Red Riding Hood, and a darkly humorous take on Goldilocks (the three Bears are escaped mental patients). The wraparound segments build to a monster reveal, although the curtain closes with a whimper. Was that thing supposed to look like a Ghoulie?
Now that I've delineated the plots and outlined the core essence of Deadtime Stories, it doesn't sound terribly impressive. Truth be told, it takes awhile to find its balance, but it does manage to entertain through a mix of sardonic humor and blue-ribbon practical effects (the resurrection of the witch is a doozy). An honorable mention goes out to Cathryn de Prume who fares well as Goldi Lox. She is...shapely. It could be argued that the comedic elements veer too far into "screwball" territory. Still, I recommend renting Deadtime Stories from your local library. I'm awarding a bonus half-Z'Dar for the werewolf. It has an old-school Universal vibe to it, which I appreciate, especially after sitting through Werewolves last month.
1/27/25
Random Match Alert
I'm digging the "Raw is Netflix" era. It allows me to multi-task now that I can keep up with the latest WWE tomfoolery on my computer while simultaneously absorbing WWF tomfoolery. Take this match, for instance. Koko B. Ware versus Repo Man, circa 1993 (please forgive the horrendous audio).
1/25/25
Blood Capsule #262
LEGEND OF DINOSAURS AND MONSTER BIRDS (1977)
So this is what happens when Japan looks to the West for inspiration. Interesting. It's true; the brass at Toei Company (a studio that normally dabbled in melodrama and martial arts) wanted to duplicate the success of Jaws. And the best way to do that was...with dinosaurs? I'm not going to question anyone. After all, this gave way to a creature feature, although technically, the creatures are not dinosaurs. I'll get to that in a minute, but first, a perfunctory synopsis. A stone egg is discovered by lumberjacks. This is a pretty big find, and the media jumps on it. Our main character is a geologist. When he sees the coverage on television, he drops everything, even going so far as to scratch a plane ticket to Mexico. He wants to validate his father's research. His father, I'll have you know, believed in the existence of a Plesiosaur, a marine reptile thought to be extinct. Could sightings confirm the legend (of the not-dinosaur), or did Nessie decide to visit Mount Fuji?
The first hour is sluggish. We spend time with our geologist, but we also see questionably-paced attacks. Deep sea swimmers come face-to-face with a model kit. Alright, the special effects aren't terrible, but I guess I was hoping for classic kaiju-style action. There is quite a bit of "aftermath gore," and oddly enough, we see a sliver of nudity during a shower scene (thought I'd placate the perverts out there). You will detect hints of the supernatural when a Not-Pterodactyl joins the fray. Apparently, it's a Rhamphorhynchus (thank you, Wikipedia). Do the monsters battle, you may ask? Yes! And it's definitely the highlight of this motion picture. For most of the running time, Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds is a quiet sit. That's fine. For optimal results, throw it on in the background and pay very little attention. The first act is reasonably entertaining, but things sag in the middle.
Recommended to fans of The Last Dinosaur and the smog in Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster.
1/23/25
My book is now on Kindle!
If you've been waiting for my book to hit Kindle before buying it, wait no more. If you haven't bought it for some other inane reason, now is a good time to pick it up. No excuses! Click HERE. For the uninitiated, Blood Capsules is a compendium of mini-reviews I've written of (mostly obscure) horror/sci-fi films. I consider this the second edition. I've fixed a few typos that plague the physical version, but hey, that version would look dandy on your bookshelf!
1/22/25
Blood Capsule #261
CTHULHU MANSION (1992)
Unknowingly, I have been collecting the works of one J.P. Simon. That's not a common name in horror circles (maybe in horror trapezoids), but the guy has a fierce resume. He knocked Slugs out of the park, and ironically, he can be held accountable for Mystery on Monster Island. I don't know anything about him. Could be super swell. I do know that he had a passionate relationship with mediocrity. Man, I kept waiting for Cthulhu Mansion to enthuse me with a pendulous stroke of spleen-melting b-movie magic, but it just sat there with a stern face. It was almost as if it wanted me - the innocent viewer - to fill in the blanks. Some filmmakers will say that the human mind can dream up stuff more terrifying than anything they could show you. They're either lying or they're lazy. This film is the latter. Granted, it scores brownie points for opening at a carnival. Plot summary incoming!
A drug deal goes haywire, which prods a group of undesirables into taking a magician hostage (with his lovely assistant in tow). By the way, the magician is named Chandu. That's kind of important. Actually, it's not important at all, but be that as it may, we wind up at Chandu's gothic abode. If you're wondering what that has to do with Cthulhu, I wondered that myself. The house has vaguely Lovecraftian powers that present as everything from blood showers to hideous refrigerator hands (of course, the hands attach to nothing). It's a shame. The ghostly atmosphere means that director Simon fabricated a handful of respectable shots that could have come from a better movie. To his credit, I wanted to see how Cthulhu Mansion resolved itself. Meh. This review is exactly two paragraphs too long.
1/21/25
1/18/25
Blood Capsule #260
THE SECT (1991)
Everyone wants Italian weirdo Michele Soavi to return to the horror genre. It doesn't look like that's going to happen anytime soon. And look, I get it. I love Cemetery Man, too. But I must admit, the dude's batting average is rather pedestrian. I've officially seen all four of his fright flicks, and from where I'm sitting, he has crafted one masterpiece. One. Stagefright is fun, but would it be worth recommending without the owl mask? Maybe I'm being hard on Soavi. Or maybe I'm frazzled because I just watched The Sect, his third stab at it coming off the heels of 1989's The Church. He seems to have a fixation with women being ravaged by "manimals." Here, Kelly Curtis (Jamie Lee's sister) is raped and pillaged by a phantom stork. If I had it my way, that would be the synopsis on the back of every physical release of The Sect. Too abrasive? Or too honest? Hmm, I'm on the verge of a psychological breakthrough. Let's see what happens in the next paragraph.
A woman is victimized by a doomsday cult after nursing a senior citizen back to health. A million things happen, including the underwater birth of the Antichrist. I probably don't need to tell you, but be ready for non-linear storytelling. And that's fine and dandy. Your movie can be a morass of oddball symbolism and random (!) bursts of violence. I only ask that you make the characters palatable, and that's where The Sect falls short. Miriam (a.k.a. Not Jamie) has to be the dumbest heroine I've encountered in Italian horror. That's saying something, folks. I wanted to dig this insanity. Herbert Lom does turn in a convincing performance as an enigmatic drifter, but I can't say that I cared about him. At all. Visually, The Sect is often gripping. Once it grips you, it slaps you and walks in the opposite direction. I guess some people are into that? I gave it my best shot.
1/17/25
Soon...!
I've put it off long enough. I've been dreading the workload, BUT...my book is finally heading for the Kindle! Give me a couple weeks. Because of the nature of the book, it's taking a very long time to set up the Table of Contents. Details are details, but they probably wouldn't make much sense if you haven't gone through this process yourself. Just know I'm working on it. I'll let everyone know when the Kindle version of Blood Capsules is ready to be seen.
Go ahead and get excited!
1/15/25
Blood Capsule #259
MANDROID (1993)
One user review on IMDb calls this film "undemanding." By God, that's the perfect adjective to describe Mandroid. Why am I even bothering with this Blood Capsule? I don't see how I can add anything substantive to reviews that already dissect this detritus. Actually, that's a bit strong. This is no less judicious than any other Full Moon flick. So in other words, I admire it. I don't know that I would call Mandroid a horror feature, but it's close enough for my purposes. Scientists have built a robot that mines the potential of Supercon, a newly discovered element so dangerous, it can't be processed by human hands. Scientist A is levelheaded about the implications of such a tech-epiphany. Scientist B wants all of the credit for Supercon, and he wants to use it to mass-market android suits that would make our military all the more devastating. Scientist C couldn't be reached for comment.
The entertainment value of Mandroid is directly proportionate to your tastebuds as they relate to robotics. Me, I can dig a solid riff on RoboCop. This one does the right things, but it translates as dull. Dishwater dull. The cast is certainly game. Jane Caldwell is inviting as Zanna (the daughter of Scientist A), while Brian Cousins fares well as the gum-chewing Wade (I think the gum-chewing is supposed to be a character trait). There just isn't much...pizzazz? Perhaps Charles Band should have tossed a tiny monster into the script. Believe it or not, Mandroid was gifted a sequel. Invisible: The Chronicles of Benjamin Knight came out in the same calendar year. I guess it would be considered a spinoff, as it followed a minor player in Mandroid. So it's Full Moon's Frasier. Honestly, I'm more likely to binge-watch Frasier than I am to rent Invisible.
Recommended to fans of The Guyver and microscope slides.
1/12/25
Site Update
Pay no mind to the Barracuda poster. I just needed an image and that was the last movie I watched. Speaking of which, I have completed all of the reviews for Mummy Month! Yep, they're in the can. If you're new here, next month is Mummy Month, and I can safely say that it will be cataclysmic. Brace yourself? I'm thinking April might have its own gimmick, but I'm not ready to announce it just yet. So don't get too excited.
I also have new editions of Rassle Inn and Now Playing coming down the pike. Now would be a good time to promote my Patreon. Click HERE! I don't do New Year's resolutions, but I would love to grab some new subscribers in 2025. Still bracing yourself? Cool, just keep doing that.
1/11/25
Blood Capsule #258
THE PROJECTED MAN (1966)
I enjoyed this film quite a bit, so I was surprised to learn that it was roasted on Mystery Science Theater 3000. I was more surprised by the fact that I had not seen that particular episode. It ran during the Mike era, which is my preferred block of MST3K chicanery. I'm going to check it out posthaste, mainly because I'm curious as to how the guys/robots approach excoriating what I consider to be "legitimate" science fiction (as opposed to The Prince of Space anyway). Am I alone on this one? Has my taste degraded so much over the years, that I can't recognize bilge when it's staring me in the face? I know it's trash, but these days, I prefer trash. Hmm, what does it say about me that I'd rather watch The Projected Man than the latest Blumhouse offering? It's a curious flick that borrows a bit of pseudo-science from The Fly. Dr. Steiner has developed a laser beam that can transmit molecules from one side of the room to the other. I'll be using similar technology to transmit the rest of this synopsis to the next paragraph.
The laser is successfully tested on a live subject (a chimpanzee), so Steiner goes under the beam in a bid to validate his experiments to the dodgy fellows who are funding his research. Of course, something goes awry. The transmission is interrupted, causing Steiner to materialize elsewhere as a raging, deformed conductor of electricity. If this sounds like the schematic for a Universal horror film, that's because it's a Universal horror film. It's too bad that The Projected Man was produced a few decades too late. It was released stateside as part of a double bill with Island of Terror, and by all accounts, it was pretty much a flop. But I dug it. The special effects are fun, as we see Steiner char his victims to a crisp by merely touching them. I will usually frown on love triangles in vintage b-movies, but here, the writing is sharp. It doesn't hurt that I liked all of the main players.
Recommended if you thought that The Fly had too many flies in it.
1/8/25
Blood Capsule #257
MYSTERY ON MONSTER ISLAND (1981)
Twenty years ago (or thereabouts), I caught a sliver of this movie on a Saturday morning. Until last night, all I remembered was the fact that it contained a roving pack of fishmen. If you know me, you know that's a big deal. I've made it a mission to see every motion picture that involves a fishman in some way, shape, or form. Mystery on Monster Island does fit the criteria, but I'm sad to report that these gilled marauders only appear in one scene. They look preposterous, and I love them very much. But what about the rest of this island adventure? Peter Cushing is top-billed. Of course, he has approximately three minutes of total screen time. He sends his nephew on an ocean voyage to give him a dose of reality. Considering the ludicrous twist ending (more on that later), that's awfully ironic. Along the way, we meet cannibals, dino-goliaths, and cave-dwelling...um, caterpillars? Don't forget the fishmen.
As my rating indicates, watching Mystery on Monster Island was a pleasant experience. The pace is brisk, the special effects are charming, and the comedy relief wasn't too vexing (the foppish tutor was a bit much). There is a stipulation, though. All of the innocuous good faith that the film accumulates is nearly rendered meaningless by the ending. This is where I spoil the twist, so look away if you have a sensitive stomach. All of the monsters on Monster Island? Toys! The cannibals? Actors! Yes, Mystery resorts to using the "Scooby-Doo rule." I hate the "Scooby-Doo rule." Part of me thinks that director Juan Piquer Simon wanted a built-in excuse for shoddy puppetry and unfinished creature suits. It's supposed to look fake! That's actually clever, but I'm still peeved. Three Z'Dars because I have a soft spot for Saturday morning nonsense. Make no mistake; this is nonsense.
The French one-sheet.
1/6/25
WWF + 1995 = Nostalgia Crack
The second I saw this video, I knew I had to write something about it. First of all, WWE's "vault" YouTube channel has been killing it lately. I've shared some of their content before, but this...this is gold. GOLD! It's a slice-of-life video from 1995. Specifically, it's behind-the-scenes footage from the production of Monday Night Raw's iconic "rooftop" intro. It's only fourteen minutes, but it contains so many incredible things for nerds like me who grew up watching the New Generation era.
We see Goldust and Hunter Hearst Helmsley play an arcade game while The Undertaker watches. Later on, 'Taker and Razor Ramon protect kayfabe while riding an elevator together. It's nuts! Makes me want to revisit certain episodes of Raw in anticipation of the debut on Netflix.
1/4/25
Blood Capsule #256
SOUNDS OF SILENCE (1989)
Here we have a film begging for a Blu-ray release. Vinegar Syndrome, are you listening? Actually, any boutique label will do, so I won't be picky. Sounds of Silence is exceedingly obscure, but strangely enough, it's readily available to stream if you check some of the more obvious platforms. I didn't think to look before I watched my well-worn VHS copy. Suffice to say, the picture and sound quality left something to be desired. I was able to spot an agreeable supernatural thriller beaming through the washed out colors, though. After inheriting a voluminous estate in Sweden, a photographer - Peter - and his writer girlfriend - Sarah - decide to check the place out. With Sarah's deaf son in tow, they are met with the kind of acrimony you would expect to find in a small village that was seemingly lifted from Bram Stoker's Dracula (different country, same general idea). To make matters more convoluted, the deaf son befriends an orphan named Bill.
I don't consider this to be a heavy-duty spoiler, but if you don't want to know anything about Sounds of Silence, stop reading...now. That Bill bloke? He's dead! Oh my God! Y'know, with the benefit of hindsight, I can see that I should have put a little distance between my spoiler and my spoiler warning. Trust me, friend; this flick is still worth tracking down. Certain scenes are relayed from the unique perspective of a disabled child. That raises the stakes a bit. Plus, director Peter Borg uses every fog machine in Sweden to ensure that the atmosphere is positively unearthly. In terms of the storyline, most of the plot "twists" are fairly easy to predict. This isn't a masterpiece, but I'm surprised that I had never heard of it until recently. Recommended to fans of The Orphanage and handicapped placards. This is a "no parking" zone, by the way. Scram!
1/3/25
Random Match Alert
Remember Wrestling Society X? I don't. I mean, I never watched it, but it's fun to go back and find bizarro matches like this. Tyler-Seth Rollins-Black and Jimmy Jacobs square off against Team Dragon Gate, circa 2007. It's weird. Enjoy?
1/1/25
Blood Capsule #255
REPTILICUS (1961)
If you look on IMDb, there are two people credited with directing this film. That's a misnomer, as there are two different versions of Reptilicus. From what I understand, they were shot together much in the same way that the Spanish version of 1931's Dracula was shot while Bela Lugosi was off brooding in a corner somewhere. I'm reviewing the American cut. I have yet to watch the Danish cut, but while the actors are speaking another language, the two movies are virtually identical. Any discrepancies are negligible, aside from the fact that the monster flies in the Danish version. Also, the American version adds splashes of "acid vomit," and cripes, I'm tired of typing "version." Regardless of which Reptilicus you are babysitting, it's a hoot. Well, it's a minor hoot. I hate to sound like a world-weary critic, but in my opinion, there are better Godzilla knockoffs out there.
I'm getting ahead of myself. How about a synopsis? Mining engineers drill upon well-preserved chunks of a prehistoric giant. The fossils, varying in (de)composition, are taken to a laboratory where scientists discover that the primordial flesh can regenerate itself. It doesn't take long for the behemoth - dubbed Reptilicus by the media - to thaw out and begin destroying urban locales in Copenhagen. As for the special effects, this b-quickie forgoes traditional methods (stop-motion, man in a suit, etc.) in favor of a marionette. Friends, it's simply adorable. If Reptilicus emerged from the Atlantic Ocean and demolished skyscrapers on the east coast, my gut reaction would be to ask my mom if I could keep it. Naturally, anything that doesn't involve Reptilicus (y'know, in Reptilicus) comes across as mundane. Characters are interchangeable. On the acting front, the cast isn't anchored by any one performance, unless you're spellbound by old dudes in white coats.
I hate to end things on a downer, so I'll mention that Vinegar Syndrome's 4K/Blu-ray release of Reptilicus is splendid. I guarantee that no one else is nerdy enough to point this out, but certain scenes are eerily reminiscent of an Outer Limits episode called "Tourist Attraction." If you know what I'm talking about, we're automatically besties.
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