3/16/24

The Stuff?


I once met Buff Bagwell.  He worked an indie show here about 10-12 years ago.  And that's all I have to say on the matter, but I will be watching his episode of Dark Side of the Ring later tonight.  I'm taking the rest of the weekend off.  Laters!

3/13/24

Blood Capsule #185

THE DARK (1979)

Well, that was abysmal.  Ironically enough, I missed out on the opportunity to see The Dark on the big screen years ago at a movie marathon.  Hindsight suggests that my fate was fortuitous.  Where do I even begin?  I worry about any theater patrons who caught this sci-fi sedative during its initial run.  I'm afraid it may be revealed that watching The Dark has the same effect on the central nervous system as inhaling carbon monoxide.  Okay, that's enough critic quotes for the inevitable 4k restoration.  Let's anatomize the plot, shall we?  An alien dressed for Casual Friday crash lands in the bustling bowels of Los Angeles.  Reporters and detectives are puzzled by a recent rash of murders that don't seem to have any connective tissue, unless you count the blood samples collected at each crime scene.  I bet the alien is involved.

Usually, films that had a frazzled production history have some cult appeal.  This one is mind-numbingly boring.  That's hard to believe, seeing as how the alien shoots lasers out of his eyes.  John "Bud" Cardos occupied the director's chair to bail out a transient Tobe Hooper.  It doesn't feel like The Dark was directed by anyone at all.  Random shots linger for no reason, and most of the "action" is lost in a sea of black.  I've heard of day-for-night photography, but this is ridiculous.  Was the film shot on asphalt and edited with electrical tape?  Needless to say, my mind wandered here and there.  By the time we arrived at a resolution, I had my grocery list done.  I need more macaroni and cheese, by the way.  And fresh milk!  Yeah, The Dark is laborious.  I can only recommend the last five minutes.  Those other minutes?  Optional at best.


3/12/24

Now Playing

Mordicus - Dances from Left

"Diamond in the rough" is a designation that was seemingly minted just for this album.  I've never met anyone who has even heard of Mordicus.  Hailing from Finland, they released one EP and one LP before calling it a day.  They have a second album listed on Metal Archives, but it also mentions that their second album was shelved.  So who knows?  I'm here to discuss 1993's Dances from Left.  These dudes could pass for a melodeath band, but they don't frolic in the In Flames/Dark Tranquility strain that erupted out of Sweden.  Of course, I say that, but I'm going to compare them to a Swedish luminaire.  This record reminds me of At the Gates' Slaughter of the Soul, only...better.  Yeah, I said it.  The guitars have the same beefy tone.  What's more, vocalist Robert Arpo's blusterous rasps bring Tomas Lindberg to mind.

I know next to nothing about drums, but I can tell when a drummer kicks ass.  This guy (credited as Heikki Lappalainen) definitely kicks ass.  There is plenty of variation where the beats are concerned.  The riffs are fairly brutal, although I would still classify these tunes as "catchy."  My favorite track is the 8-minute "A Thorn in Holy Flesh."  You should also check out "Oceans," "I Bleed to See," and "Cybernetic Summer."

Atten Ash - The Hourglass

Do you miss Daylight Dies as much as I do?  For my money, they were the best melodic doom/death band going, but it has been twelve (!) years since their last opus.  It doesn't look like they'll be reemerging anytime soon.  But drop that noose!  I found an album that fills the void left behind by such classics as Dismantling Devotion and A Frail Becoming.  Atten Ash shares DD's state of origin, which happens to be my state of origin - North Carolina.  They also share a guitarist by the name of Barre Gambling.  I have to think this is the member responsible for the gorgeous guitar solos on The Hourglass.  Does this offer anything new?  No.  In fact, you could call it a lost Daylight Dies album, but that's not a drawback.  Unfortunately, this project has also been dormant for twelve years.  Oh, well.

Out of all of the music I've listened to since the last iteration of Now Playing, I've pulled The Hourglass the most.  Make of that what you will.  Preferred selections?  I guess "Born," but they're all tasty.

3/11/24

Random Match Alert


Most wrestling fans know that 1996's Bash at the Beach was an incredibly important pay-per-view, but did you know that the card featured matches other than the main event?  Take this one, for example.  Rey Mysterio and Psychosis "pulled the curtain" with this 15-minute barn-burner.  NOTE: You'll have to go to Peacock to see the full match.

3/9/24

Escape to Cremation


You can expect to see a new edition of Now Playing within the next week or so (give or take several decades), but you want to know what I'm listening to right now?  Like, now now?  Veteran bone-snappers Drawn and Quartered.  To be specific, I'm jamming Hail Infernal Darkness, their fourth album.  This band is so underrated, it's criminal.  In fact, it might be a felony in certain states.  They have kicked out eight (!) platters of raw, bloody death metal since forming in the mid-90's.  You can throw a dart at their discography, and chances are, you will probably land on something cool.  Last night, I played Return of the Black Death (LP #3, pictured above).  It sounds like it looks - awesome!

I was trying to think of points of comparison.  Imagine the sewage of Incantation intermingled with the neck-twisting groove of Immolation.  I guess that's all I wanted to say.  I'll be back in a few days with more randomness.  Insert guitar solo here.

3/6/24

Blood Capsule #184

SOMETHING EVIL (1972)

Following in the footsteps of The Lawnmower Man and Circuitry Man, Hologram Man is a cautionary tale about the dangers of transferring one's soul into holographic stasis.  And that, dear reader, was going to be the first sentence of today's review until I sleepily slid into watching Something Evil.  This was a treat.  I didn't know it going in, but this made-for-TV sternum-stroker (it was either that or "spine-chiller") was shepherded by a young, hungry Steven Spielberg.  Coming hot off the heels of Duel, he was still finding himself on the set of this project.  Personally, I was sold as soon as I saw a pre-Night Stalker* Darren McGavin's name in the opening credits.  He plays Paul, the concerned husband of a beleaguered woman (a fraught Sandy Dennis).  What's beleaguering her?  Find out in the next paragraph...same time, same channel!

There is something bedeviling their home, something a little more malevolent than a mere ghost.  It has been said that Evil served as a dry run for Poltergeist, and I can back that sentiment.  The latter film is superior, but Spielberg's direction is sharp here.  The first half is slow-going, almost too slow.  Almost.  Patience is rewarded in a significant way, however.  Stevie expertly uses the acoustics of a room to his advantage in building tension.  It's funny; according to the man himself, CBS hacked his budget and hobbled his creative impulses.  I couldn't tell.  By the way, I did pop Hologram Man into my VCR.  It's a tepid, noisy sci-fi/actioner.  I bet you weren't banking on reading two reviews in one, were you?  No one asked, but my favorite Spielberg joint has always been Subspecies.

*So apparently, both Something Evil and The Night Stalker premiered in early 1972.  'Twas a good year for small-screen spooks.

3/4/24

Album Cover of the Whatever


I don't listen to much modern thrash, but I have to respect Gama Bomb for going all-out with Bats, their latest LP.  At press time, it is unclear what role Lou Diamond Phillips played in the creation of the album, if any.  Great cover, though!

3/3/24

Blood Capsule #183

THE CELLAR (1988)

I know Kevin Tenney to be a talented director with a keen eye for style.  It's unfortunate that he wasn't allowed to utilize much of that talent on the set of The Cellar.  Apparently, he was roped in just days after someone else was relieved of the position.  Unable to reshoot thorny footage, he was able to make the best of a bad situation.  Watching the film over thirty years later, you can tell that it was a flustered production, but if you go in with the right mindset (and a fistful of edibles...I'm kidding?), most of the punches connect.  The premise borrows from the very well of Native American folklore that so many other budget-minded fright flicks have despoiled.  A Comanche tribe jams a spear into the ground in an effort to contain a profound evil.  As it happens, this evil is a ratty, brutish warthog demon...thing.

Cut to modern day Arizona.  The spear is unaccounted for, and as such, our bestial gallybagger is free to roam in the cellar of a dwelling peopled by an innocuous family.  The Cellar doesn't come right out and say it, but the monster seems to have a Shining-esque effect on Mance, the father of the household.  He stops just short of becoming an axe-wielding maniac.  An honorable mention goes out to Chris Miller.  He plays the prepubescent protagonist, and miraculously, he didn't grate my nerves.  As for the creature, I'll be charitable and say that the prosthetic is restrictive.  We're limited to tight shots of trunk, tooth, and claw.  Hey, I'll take what I can get.  The Cellar wrapped in the same calendar year as Night of the Demons.  That's a pretty sweet double feature from where I'm sitting.  Recommended to fans of basements and The Basement.  Don't forget Crawlspace!