TROLL (1986)
So I watched Troll last night. I wasn't going to review it, but I had an epiphany. "Dom," I said. "Why not review Troll?" Okay, so it wasn't quite an epiphany. When I was a kid, we rented Troll, but I only remember bits and pieces of it. I recalled Phil Fondacaro emerging from a plant. And that's about it. I don't even know that I've seen Troll 2 as an adult, which worries me. Is there a support hotline for people who haven't seen Troll 2? All I know is that I had a blast with Troll. If Claudio Fragasso's embattled sequel is the "worst movie ever," this has to be considered the best. Doesn't it? Am I alone on this island? Let's try to piece a synopsis together. You've got a family who has just moved into an apartment building. The dad is Michael Moriarty. Sidenote...he is friggin' incredible. His performance here - coupled with his life-affirming turn in It's Alive III: Island of the Alive - has to put him in the running as one of the greatest actors of his generation. Doesn't it??
Anyway, a random troll appears in the basement. Magic is afoot, as the insatiable Torok tries to convert each apartment into a frightful Ferngully. The only person who can stop him is a former princess who conveniently lives in the same complex. By the way, the role(s) of Eunice is so perfectly casted, I thought we were seeing one actress in aged make-up. But no, it's the mother-daughter team of June and Anne Lockhart. Again, they are perfect. Also perfect? Phil Fondacaro as the scene-stealing Malcolm. I thought it was interesting that Torok wanted to help him. You would expect the main villain to be 100% evil, what with this being a fantasy. Instead, Troll paints in shades. Shades of what, I don't know. The creature effects are fantastic, and I wish that every movie was directed by John Carl Beuchler. His resume is spotless, if you ask me. I think I'll watch Troll 2 tonight. At the very least, I hope it ruins my day.
