Blood Capsule #358

DEMON IN THE BOTTLE (1996)

In my capsule for Frankenstein Reborn!, I noted that Charles Band planned to make four Universal-style monster movies.  Turns out, he had a lot of plans.  Demon in the Bottle was the first in a proposed series of lightweight genre nuggets that would premiere on the Disney Channel.  Yes, there exists a Disney/Full Moon production.  I don't think I need to tell you that the deal fell through before any other films could be brokered.  If you're wondering why you have never heard of Demon in the Bottle, it's because it wasn't released on home video in the United States.  It hasn't been given proper exposure on Blu-ray either, despite the fact that boutique labels are constantly restoring hidden gems (as well as hidden not-gems).  So what's the deal with this thing?  I believe I am on Earth to tell you that Demon in the Bottle is an exceptional slice of "gateway horror."  It's up there with The Gate, in my opinion.  The main monster even looks like something out of The Gate, although Bottle utilizes puppets in lieu of stop-motion wizardry.

This is fantasy/adventure material before it's lowercase horror, but obviously, I had to cover it.  Synopsis mode engage!  Russell and Amanda literally stumble upon a chest of wonders that we know is afflicted with a pirate's curse.  Among the jewels within the case is a genie's lamp.  Kinda.  It doesn't grant wishes, but it does unleash a fiend that reminded me of the Ymir from 20 Million Miles to Earth.  When it's not stalking children, it takes the form of a blue tornado (that had to be one of Charles Band's ideas).  I don't know how much money Disney lost on Demon in the Bottle, but the special effects are actually...low-key incredible???  There is an impressive shipwreck in the first five minutes.  You will notice CGI here and there, but I'm not complaining.  Then you have the creature design, which I clearly loved.  Putting technicalities aside, the script is...well-written???  What's going on here?  This movie rocks.  It's a little bit tragic that you won't be able to add it to your collection anytime soon.  Thankfully, I have an "in" on Plex, so don't worry.  At the very least, I can watch it and tell you about it.

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Blood Capsule #357

GHOULIES III: GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE (1991)

Well, that was unexpected.  I thought I had seen Ghoulies III before, but apparently, I was mistaken.  John Carl Buechler returns, this time as director.  We are now in a different genre, though.  This is a straight-up sex comedy with a (low) body count.  If it weren't emblazoned as a horror sequel, there is no way I would be tackling Ghoulies III, buuuuut there are Ghoulies afoot.  Kevin McCarthy (yes, that Kevin McCarthy) stars as Mr. Ragnar, a college professor who detests Prank Week.  Ragnar is in such a state of rancor, that when he stumbles upon a mystical comic book that summons tiny terrors, his first instinct is to use the diminutive malcontents as pawns in a power play that pits two fraternities against one another.  That sounds...elaborate, I know.  But the plot devolves into something easier to digest.  Basically, Ghoulies pester co-eds.  By "pester," I mean "kill every once in awhile."  They are not silent assassins, however.  No, these Ghoulies talk.  A lot.

Ghoulies III is rife with sophomoric humor.  That's not a problem if you're big on gross-out jokes, but guess what?  I'm not big on gross-out jokes.  I'm not big on comedies at all.  It's true; I hate fun.  We have to watch as the Ghoulies (it would be helpful if they had names) slap each other silly, drink beer together, and cause general mischief.  McCarthy winds up being the de facto villain, and to be fair, he seems to be having a blast.  Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College was supposed to be a theatrical release, so at the very least, the production values are trim.  Look, it's not as baleful as Ghoulies IV, but that's not saying very much.  I'm out of ammunition.  To add insult to injury, there are no W.A.S.P. songs on the soundtrack.  What gives?

The future of Now Playing...

I've enjoyed writing each installment of Now Playing, my music "column" where I dish on whatever I've been "spinning."  In "quotation marks."  But as I make the jump to YouTube, Now Playing will be supplanted by Stuff I've Been Jamming Lately.  In fact, it has already been supplanted.  Go read my Now Playings, though.  I've talked about a lot of cool records over the past couple of years.  As for Iron Supplements, I don't know if I'll be continuing that or not.  We shall see.

Blood Capsule #356

GHOULIES II (1988)

I'm listening to WASP as I write this review.  They appear on the soundtrack for Ghoulies II, so I guess I'm trying to recreate the film's atmosphere.  It could be said that I try to recreate Ghoulies II's atmosphere every day.  I mean, that's partially true.  This movie hits the spot, man.  In my review for Ghoulies, I said that if you "hope to see the little rapscallions act in mischievous ways, you might be disappointed."  And that's true, although I don't mind defending Ghoulies to anyone who will listen.  The point stands.  If you were hoping to see the Ghoulies act like Ghoulies, Ghoulies II was made with you in mind.  Plus, this is a sequel that rocks extra hard because it's set at a carnival.  You can practically smell the corndogs in attendance (as for whether I'm referring to food or people, I'll leave that up to you).  The plot is achingly simple.  Larry and his uncle are in charge of Satan's Den, but when a miserly, penurious investor visits the campgrounds, he threatens to axe the spookshow exhibition.  Thankfully, a bunch of ticket-buying wassailers are going to die before that can happen.

Wait, I think...I think I may have botched the synopsis.  Larry doesn't want folks to die, but the Ghoulies do!  That should have been the tagline.  John Carl Beuchler's special effects are greater in number this time around.  They're simply greater period.  The Ghoulies themselves seem to enjoy tinkering with mechanics.  I motion that they be classed as gremlins henceforth.  On second thought, that might cause confusion.  Yeah, they should definitely be classed as gremlins.  The human cast members are likeable enough.  Royal Dano is outstanding as a besotted bibber.  Phil Fondacaro rules as a Shakespeare-quoting...um, I'm not sure that he has a title.  He wears a monster mask and goes "ouawerfwhf!"  The pace is zippy.  Everything just clicks.  Ghoulies II is one of those movies where if you caught it on television back in the day, you would have to stop what you were doing and watch.  I know; it happened to me on one occasion.  Oh, the climax.  It's awesome.  If I had it my way, every film would end with a giant Ghoulie emerging from the earth and eating everyone in sight.  Even babies (especially babies)!

Looking at March...

I think I want to do one more theme month before ending this charade.  I think I've settled on the theme, but because I have so much random crap to review, it's going to have to wait until March.  I'll announce it...um, later.  Clue?  No clue.

Blood Capsule #355

GHOULIES (1985)

I don't know if this is common knowledge or not, but Ghoulies was in pre-production well before Gremlins.  If it weren't for the fact that producers ran out of money halfway through principal photography, the film would have beaten Gremlins to theaters.  So really, Gremlins is the knock-off.  Does that change your opinion of Ghoulies?  Probably not.  It still feels like the low-rent surrogate of "tiny monster" vehicles.  I get it, but to be honest, I prefer Ghoulies.  And I'm not just trying to be the contrarian in the room.  I completely understand if you're not a fan.  After all, the creatures themselves are mere bystanders in the story.  Speaking of which, Ghoulies is full of horror tropes, well-worn clichés that are both old-fashioned and familiar to purveyors of 80's popcorn clusters.  Jonathan inherits a regal estate and finds curious books in the basement.  Why, it's a veritable athenaeum of tomes on alchemy and black magic how-to guides.  Y'know, sorcery.  That kind of stuff.

Anyway, ol' Jon decides to conduct an arcane ritual for his friends.  Bad idea, as he unwittingly opens a portal to the netherworld.  It's never clear where exactly the Ghoulies hail from, a frustrating detail that the series refuses to address all the way up to the fourth entry.  Thankfully, this is not the fourth entry.  Every time I watch this flick, I have fun with it.  Peter Liapis is committed in the lead role.  He takes the task seriously, no matter how wacky his surroundings become (and you better believe his surroundings become wacky).  This movie contains the second greatest wizard duel in history.  If you're curious, Vincent Price and Peter Lorre are in pole position thanks to 1963's The Raven.  I also love John Carl Beuchler's special effects.  Maybe I just love John Carl Beuchler.  If you watch Ghoulies hoping to see the little rapscallions act in mischievous ways, you might be disappointed.  Truth be told, they aren't the stars of the show.  I was able to get my fix, however.

Ghoulies comes close to being a 4-Z'Dar firecracker, but hold on.  I'm saving the big guns for the bigger gun.

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