Everyone Has a Price to Pay; Mine was $22

In my head, there is a list of wrestlers I would like to meet.  Slowly and surely, I am crossing names off of said list.  Earlier this year, I met Jake "The Snake" Roberts at the Mad Monster Party horror convention in Charlotte.  Earlier tonight, I met "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase at a minor league baseball game.  We're a nowhere town, so we only have a dinky single-A team, but every once in awhile, they nab an agreeable celebrity to sign autographs before the game.  Technically, it's a meet-and-greet.  Last year, the powers that be managed to cajole Jerry "The King" Lawler (I'm assuming that he was enmeshed with the promise of tight, virginal jailbait).

I didn't get to see Jerry, but come Hell or high water, I was going to see Ted.  First, the picture...

Forgive the pre-thunderstorm bulwark of brazen sunlight.

I never know what to say when I'm lucky enough to accost a public figure whom I admire.  Usually, I manage a lifeless "hello" while trying to emulate the behavior of a normal human being.  I distinctly recall my brain deflating during a chance encounter with George Romero.  But that was years ago.  I'm a mature adult now.  I can quell mortifying fanboy urges at will, which is why I was confident in my ability to conduct myself with a measure of gentility in the presence of a WWE Hall of Famer.  When the bell rang, I looked my opponent square in the eye.  No fear, motherfucker.  And...I was able to keep my cool.  What, you suspected that I choked?  Ha!

Actually, I thought that I would be left groping for words, but we shared a nice, brief exchange.  He proceeded to sign my shirt (along with a couple of photos).  Out of curiosity, I asked him if he had kept in touch with Matt Bourne over the decades.  As it turns out, Ted saw Matt a mere week before his untimely passing.  Chilling.  Our tickets included a substantial meal and a seat for the ensuing ballgame.  Honestly, I didn't care about the game, so we departed in the midst of a rain delay.  Curse my haphazard disdain for school spirit.  Bandwagon fidelity is underrated.

PS-Ted cut a wicked promo while throwing out the first pitch.  Well, he didn't throw it out; he paid a pitcher to do it for him.  That's "old school" showmanship, kids.  Always work the gimmick!

1 comment:

  1. I love that he paid someone to throw the first pitch. Glad the "Million Dollar Man" lived up to your expectations.