ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS MEET FRANKENSTEIN (1999)
"ALLLVIIIIIIN! Come here, you little fistfuck! I'm gonna chain you to the pole again! That's right. Where did I leave my handgun? I'm gonna put it to your head, you piss rodent! And I swear to God, if you don't suck my intestines out through my dick, I'm going to blow your fuckin' brains out!" Sometimes, I wonder if I cross the line. Naaah. Apparently, this was the first Chipmunks movie since the 80's. They met The Wolfman the following year, and if the general consensus is to be believed, Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein is the inferior product. Just my luck! I swear to God, if you don't suck my--woah! I'm worried. About me.
There isn't much to say here, folks. If you were a fan of the Chipmunks as a tiny human (as I was), you'll dig this flick-a-dee. It's fun, and it seems to have been made by fans of the Universal monster mashes. Why, it's even - I can't believe I'm admitting this - cute in spots. Simon has his teddy bear, while Frankenstein('s creation) sleeps with a Frankie action figure. Hey, that's adorable, and you know it! Needless to type, Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Hitler Youth isn't flawless. Alvin is annoying (I never liked that son of a bitch) AND I'm tired of writing. I wasn't cut out for this gig.
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