Blood Capsule #86

LEGEND (1985)

Meg Mucklebones is a bitch.  She gets under my skin.  My God, if I had seen her at age 9, I would have shit trauma scissors and a chest decompression kit.  Mucklecunt is a minor villain in Ridley Scott's Legend.  I watched the director's cut, and I'll be forthright to say that I'd never seen it.  I've only peeped eyes at small chunks of the theatrical version on TV, but that was years ago.  The rubric of "adult fairy tale" is quite fitting.  Fantasies were all the rage in the 80's, but this one stood out from the pack.  Yes, even the lopped variant.  It's a beautiful film where all of its magic(k) is in front of the camera.

Tom Cruise is serviceable as Jack, a forest boy who must save a princess fairy (or whatever the fuck) too rapacious for her own good.  Mia Sara is flawless as Lili.  If you would have told me that the casting department located an actual princess fairy, I would have believed you.  Her face is so pure and expressive.  It goes without blabbing that Tim Curry kicks unholy ass as Darkness.  Blix is a cool goblin dude, Gump is an inscrutable sprite (David Bennent's performance is chimerically grand, by the way) and Meg...goddamn Meg.  I'll admit that the prosthetics are neat.  I could write a full review of Legend, but I'm not gonna.  Heh.  Suffice to type, I had fun.  Here is more text to prevent a widow.

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