The Shape of Water

I've been pining to see The Shape of Water ever since the trailer dropped.  I saw it as Guillermo del Toro's version of Creature From the Black Lagoon (he was once attached to the remake of said Universal classic).  Now that I've finally seen it, I can safely say that while it's heavily influenced by the 1955 film, it is its own creature.  Pun?  Punny pun-pun?  Forget it.  Sally Hawkins plays Elisa, a mute custodian at a top-secret laboratory.  It seems that the government has captured a strange "animal" for experimental purposes.  If this were the 50's, Water would be a middle-course b-movie that warns us against tampering with nature.

And of course, it would be awesome, but this is something more cerebral.  More psychogenic.  More...romantic?  Water is barely a horror item, but for obvious reasons, it's designated for inclusion on this website.  If we're being 104% honest, it's a sci-fi romance.  A good one!  You have to know what you're signing up for in order to truly dote on the thing.  I say that because I've seen it smeared for being a touch saccharine.  Did these folks not understand the numbles, the sentimental encumbrances of del Toro?  I'd imagine not.  This was never going to be a straight-up genre picture.

I guess that the gorgeous cinematography, the brilliant pace (yes, brilliant...two hours buzzed my tower like an antsy knife thrower) and the magnificent cast didn't count for anything.  Water is quality.  I don't want to give the impression that it's irreproachable or that all hands on deck are clean.  A couple of scenes struck me as immoderate.  Recrementitious even.  EDITOR'S NOTE: Dom has no idea what that word means.  Also, he may or may not be the editor.  The musical number choreographed to mimic a Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers bunny hop took me out of the film's downcast atmosphere, although a tiny part of me dug it.

THIS PARAGRAPH CONTAINS SPOILERS

Then there is the sex scene.  Just the concept alone.  Maybe they could have consummated their relationship in a subtle, metaphorical way?  Instead of amphibian penis?  Thankfully, it's only described, but still.  Outside of those sequences, The Shape of Water is pokerfaced.  Not that it's a lusterless affair without a sense of humor.  At the end of the day, del Toro's homage to The Gillman is a strong showing.  As a child, he wanted the monster to get the girl.  As an adult, he peers at the substantiation of his imagination.  Here, the monster doesn't merely run off with the girl draped over his shoulder; he fucks her!