Color Out of Space

I have yet to read the source material (don't worry; I plan on rectifying that), but from what I gather, H.P. Lovecraft described the literal color that fell from outer space as "indescribable."  Like no color on Earth.  So y'know, pink.  With a tincture of purple.  I didn't realize that occult, cosmic horror could be demystified so easily, but I'll give director Richard Stanley a pass.  We had to see it, I suppose.  And I'm glad that Stanley was the auteur to bring this short story to the big screen.  It's unfortunate that it tanked harder than the RMS Lusitania.  Hmm, that's curious.  I thought my first trendy pop culture reference would be a COVID-19 gag.  But I digress...

As I was saying, the Lusitania was torpedoed by a German U-boat, which wasn't helped by its awkward starboard tilt.  Historians have observed that all 1,198 casualties deserved to die.  How fortuitous!  I once witnessed a lunker of a barge being routed by a segue.  Came out of nowhere, man.  A meteor crashes onto the property of one Nathan Gardner, a retired everyman played by not-an-everyman Nicolas Cage.  If you know the general narrative, then you know that this uninvited quark causes strange things to happen.  Nathan's wife calmly slices off her fingers, alpacas are turned inside out in a nightmarish scene straight out of John Carpenter's The Thing, and of course, the outdoors turn pi--er, a bizarre color.

I want to start by discussing Cage, as he was the second biggest draw for me (next to the title; I was going to rent this fucker regardless).  At first, I came away feeling like he went through his whackadoo motions.  I could see him rationalizing his performance.  "Let's be honest, kids.  Going full-blown Cage is the crutch I will use to get sassy and my fans will eat it up.  Slurp my mayonnaise, buttercunt."  NOTE: That's simply how I imagine he talks to himself.  Please don't ruin that fantasy for me.  Contrarily, I decided that this was the perfect project for Nicolas Cage to be himself, for lack of a better phrase.  If he's going to flip out and riffle through splashy, chromatic profanity, it should be in Richard Stanley's adaptation of an uneasy Lovecraft yarn.  Ya dig?

I dig.  In fact, I liked the entire cast.  At the risk of resembling an immature twerp, how cute is Madeleine Arthur?  She portrays Lavinia, Nathan's holistic Wiccan daughter.  The script fleshes her out the most, even more than Castor Troy.  High-five me if you're also a Face/Off adherent.  Joely Richardson is nuanced as Theresa, the "accident-prone" wifey-poo.  Tommy Chong rounds out the company as Ezra, and I don't need to tell you that he kicks ass.  I really appreciate how his role is handled, but I can't say too much about it.  Spoiler landmines and all.

Speaking of spoilage, the mystery of the plot is dealt with dexterously.  Details are fed to the viewer at the right intervals.  Having said that, Color Out of Space retains all of its mystique.  That couldn't have been easy to accomplish.  Complaints?  Sure, I have a few.  The CGI...was that mess necessary?  This breed of genre reel uses subtlety to its advantage, and I can practically hear other critics opining that Lovecraft specialized in monstrosities that we couldn't physically see.  So did we need to see purple blobs of what-the-fuck?  I will admit, there are nice moments of practical make-up, one involving...eh, I shouldn't say.  Goddamn spoilers!

My only other quibble is that the family dialogue presents as stilted.  Is it just me?  I doubt it.  I'm right 100% of the time.  That's a fairly high percentage.  At any rate, I do recommend Color Out of Time.  Reading back, this has the makings of a 4-Z'Dar review, but in my arthrogrypotic heart, it just misses the mark.  Ideally, I'd go with a 3.8.  I don't do that shit, though.  Take it away, Cordell!