THE HAUNTING OF MORELLA (1990)
I have a theory. I think that Jim Wynorski, drunk on power and other spirits, accidentally made a decent little movie here. The mission statement could not have included quality control. No, I don't believe for a second that Jim (we're on a first-name basis, I'm sure) aimed any higher than sex and blood. But something strange happened, dear reader. Something mysterious. Something cabalistic. Something impenetrably anagogic! As I was watching The Haunting of Morella, I noticed that I was beginning to...care...about the characters. How could this be, you ask!? I don't know. It has to be said that a nascent Nicole Eggert actually tries in a dual role as her own mother. A prologue establishes that Morella was a witch. Because this is a period piece, she is blinded by torches, and in effect, burned at the stake. Seventeen years later, her daughter is consumed by a paragraph break.
Clearly, Morella wants to live/kill vicariously through her daughter. The script is not "chef's kiss" material, but at the very least, I can say that I wanted to see how the plot would resolve itself. Ol' Jim tosses in plenty of cemeteries and lightning storms to maintain optimal levels of atmosphere. And boobs. Dear God, there are enough boobs to nurture an entire nation of starving babies. Sorry, that's an unfortunate image. I'm not certain if this film deserves the kind of standoffish acclaim you would give to art that was adequate in spite of itself. And yet, The Haunting of Morella is adequate in spite of itself. Take my rating with a silo of salt. Random trivia! Are you sitting down? Screenwriter R.J. Robertson is also responsible for Munchie and Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time. Feel free to digest that information any way you want.
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