TROLL 2 (1990)
So I've seen Troll. Likewise, I've seen Best Worst Movie. Until last night, I had not seen Troll 2. It's one of those weird blindspots that can't be rationalized by conventional science or some other branch of knowledge. Maybe I brushed it off because I felt like I had seen it. As a fan of b-movies in the raw, I was more than familiar with the film. The documentary conveys an appropriate sense of goofball wonder that pervades every scene. I thought I knew what to expect, but I was still taken aback by the indifferent dialogue, the off-center acting, and the popcorn. What was that all about? Michael Paul Stephenson plays Joshua, a constipated child whose family has made an exchange. What's an exchange? Apparently, it's where you switch houses with someone else, and it's a totally normal thing to do. So Joshua is off to Nilbog. Not Llort. Nilbog. Okey-dokey. Goblins try to eat his family. Hospitality ensues?
I know that director Claudio Fragasso is a space cadet, but that doesn't explain why most of the cast is seemingly stoned. Margo Prey as the mom...bless her heart. Whose favorite song is "Row, Row, Row Your Boat?" George Hardy is serviceable as the dad, although I don't know why I'm breaking down the acting. It's Troll 2. It's extremely Troll 2. I can confirm that this is nowhere near the worst movie ever. I was entertained, but the running time is approximately fifteen minutes too long. Honestly, I had way more fun with Troll. Troll 2 is rating-proof. Three-and-a-half Z'Dars should cover it. The actual trolls - er, goblins - are adorable. What else can I say? Recommended to fans of gummies. Specifically, the ones that make your friend's head turn into a lollipop. Not that I would know anything about that.
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