Fishman False Alarm

I thought I had found an undiscovered "fishman" movie, but don't get too excited.  The movie in question?  1957's Swamp of the Lost Souls, a Mexican western/horror hybrid that seems to have it all...gothic overtones, missing cadavers, dancing horses (???), a convoluted insurance scam, and yes, a fishman.  Sadly, the monster is revealed to be a guy in a costume.  Lame.  Lost Souls is notable for being an early riff on Creature from the Black Lagoon (and for the fact that it's in color), but it's not worth your time.  Back to the drawing board!

Blood Capsule #252

THE EVIL (1978)

If I didn't switch up subgenres and keep a fairly motley range of films in my viewing rotation, I might have balked at the clichés found in The Evil.  Truth be told, it has been a month of Sundays since I took in an "old dark house" relic.  And this is a pretty good one.  The plot is simple enough.  A group of psychologists hole up in an abandoned mansion with the aim of using it as a rehabilitation clinic.  There are ghosts.  End of synopsis.  Richard Crenna plays C.J., the resident skeptic, and he seems a bit reserved.  Joanna Pettet turns in a solid performance as the supernaturally susceptible wife.  I have to wonder why she doesn't speak up when she sees spooky spirits ten minutes into the thing, but I guess that's where suspension of disbelief comes into clarity.  You have to meet these characters halfway.  Admittedly, I was a willing participant.

If you can look past ungainly dialogue, there are plenty of goose pimples to go around.  I loved the in-camera effects, especially the shots I couldn't see through.  The Evil supplies impeccable entertainment for a cold, blustery night.  I would have no compunction about awarding it four Z'Dars if it weren't for the silly ending.  This is a "no spoiler" zone, but what the hell?  Were there any test screenings?  If so, did the producers chuck the notes into the nearest wastebasket?  Still, I suggest giving The Evil a whirl.  It's a grand slice of low-key 70's horror, even with the disappointing finale.  Recommended to fans of The Legacy, The Legend of Hell House, and any version of The Old Dark House.  And A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child.  Just kidding...had to make sure you were paying attention.

Announcement announcement!

Next Friday, I'll be announcing the theme for February.  Yep, I'm doing another theme month where every Blood Capsule falls under specific guidelines.  The image above is a clue.  The question is, what are Abbott and Costello reacting to?  Try to guess.  If you guess correctly, you will win...nothing!

Blood Capsule #251

FROGMAN (2023)

I don't know why I added this film to my collection.  I would say the price was right, but it really wasn't.  To top it off, Frogman employs the "found footage" gimmick.  This is a subgenre that usually leaves me cold, so I had no business sitting down and trying to enjoy this thing.  But you know what?  I enjoyed this thing.  It has the same exoskeleton as The Blair Witch Project.  I know, that's an obvious touchstone, but hang with me.  You don't know where I'm going.  You have entered "hot take" territory, by the way.  Try this on for size; Frogman is the movie that Blair Witch wanted to be.  Do I sound insane yet?  I can't help it.  Frogman is simply more absorbing.  I realize that no one asked me to make this comparison, but both flicks follow three root characters as they try to validate a cryptid.  In this case, it's the Frogman of Ohio, a real local legend that has proven to be a hit with tourists.

Horror is just as subjective as comedy or science fiction, so you may not warm up to the main players as much as I did.  If I wasn't won over by Dallas, Amy, and Scotty, Frogman would have flopped.  They have genuine chemistry, more so than the three filmmakers in Blair Witch.  Okay, I'll drop it.  Why do I have a feeling that I'm in the vast minority here?  Frogman isn't pitch-perfect.  If you think about the concept too long, you'll begin to see holes in the architecture, so to speak.  I still had fun unraveling the mystery of the titular polliwog.  Special effects are used sparingly, but we do get...well, I won't spoil anything.  Even if you don't care for Frogman, you must concede that it's better than 1972's Frogs.  It's a whitewash (or a greenwash).

Best of?

Actual photograph of me listening to music.

Give me another week or two, and I'll be ready to deliver my list of the Best Albums of 2024.  I want to make sure I hear as much as possible.  That's proving to be quite the challenge, as I discover new bands on a daily basis.  If I didn't have an Internet connection, the list would be compiled by now.  But of course, I wouldn't be able to share it with all of you, now would I?

Blood Capsule #250

BUG (1975)

I couldn't find my copy of 1979's Bog, and I've already seen 1988's Big.  So that leaves us with Bug, the last film written by intrepid showman William Castle.  Actually, this was Castle's final project in any capacity.  I rented it back in Netflix's "red envelope" era, but I didn't get a chance to watch it before mailing it back.  It's just as well.  I don't think I was ready for this flick.  I was fresh out of high school and still teething as a horror fanatic.  Bug would have been too weird for me then, but now?  I'm able to eat this stuff up.  Given the release date, you might expect it to be a paint-by-numbers "creepy crawly" vehicle a la Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo.  And it starts by taking that route, but Castle throws in an earthquake for good measure.  When tectonic plates convulse in a rural area on the outskirts of San Francisco, roach-like insects are vaulted to the surface.  These aren't your everyday insectoids, though.  Paragraph!

Break!  The formerly subterranean bugs make sparks fly - both literally and figuratively - by rubbing their legs together.  Professor Parmiter compares them to boy scouts.  Of course, I don't know many boy scouts who singe through human flesh and cause small explosions around town.  Castle gets a sick thrill out of setting up gross-out scares.  I mean, you can't blame him.  The scenes in which the pyromaniac pests nestle beneath a telephone receiver and perch on a woman's shoulder are undoubtedly effective.  Pacing-wise, Bug is a slow burn (no pun intended).  The film shifts gears at the hour mark as Parmiter slowly loses his wits.  This is probably where most viewers check out, but to me, the third act is what sets Bug apart from its contemporaries.  I dig the fact that we get to witness the scientist before and after he goes mad.  Plus, you feel as though you're going insane with the mad scientist.

The near-apocalyptic finale is glorious.  It's all guns blazing, to steal an idiom from Rob Halford.  Recommended to fans of The Tingler and boll weevils.

The Japanese one-sheet.

Reptilicus comic book!?

If you glance over at the Upcoming Review Schedule, you'll notice that I'll be talking about a certain "giant reptile" flick on the first day of 2025.  Hate to ruin the surprise, but yeah, it's Reptilicus.  I just couldn't wait to talk about this, though.  What is this?  It's a movie tie-in Reptilicus comic book pumped out by Charlton Comics.  Charlton has also published comics for Konga and Gorgo.  They were a low-budget company that was absorbed by DC upon going "tits up," as the Brits would say.

Officially, there are two issues of Reptilicus.  The copyright lapsed before Charlton got around to releasing a third issue, so the series pivoted to become Reptisaurus the Terrible for the rest of its run.  I live for this kind of random sci-fi/horror media, so you better believe I bought a copy.  To be exact, I bought #2.  For whatever reason, the first issue is exorbitantly priced on eBay.  It's borderline unreasonable, if you ask me.  Maybe someday.  I do plan on buying at least a couple issues of Reptisaurus the Terrible because...well, how can I not?

Interestingly, Reptilicus #2 seems to be a sequel of sorts to the film.  By the way, I don't love Reptilicus.  But it's Reptilicus!  It's kind of fascinating if you're a jaded horror scholar.  The only thing more enjoyable than nonsense is obscure nonsense.  The comic itself is super fun.  It's filled to the brim with gratuitous exclamation points and ridiculous alliteration.  Despite the fact that this intellectual property continued as Reptisaurus the Terrible, the titular snake-dragon is vanquished in the end.  I'm curious as to how the story is stretched out (beyond reason, I'm sure).

So there you have it.  I will soon be your number one source for Reptilicus information.  Check out my Patreon?

Blood Capsule #249

SCARED STIFF (1987)

As long as I can keep finding mid-level horrors stuck in the nether-realms of obscurity, I'll keep reviewing them.  And I'll be a happy dude.  Some might say that Scared Stiff had a low budget, but those people haven't seen the films that I have.  This is downright cushy entertainment.  As for why it's obscure, I would just put the blame on oversaturation.  This isn't a bad movie per se.  At first, you think you're slinking into a traditional scare pic, as it operates within a well-trodden "haunted house" framework.  A pop star (named Kate, I think) moves into a new abode with her son and her psychiatrist boyfriend.  Naturally, the place has a cryptic, blood-freezing past.  The former tenant was a wicked slave owner.  He was so wicked, in fact, that his slaves conjured up a confusing hex involving amulets and old-fashioned thaumaturgy.  Could the house itself be cursed?  That would explain the bones in the attic.  You didn't know about the bones in the attic, did you?

Scared Stiff is a tale of two halves.  For a good 45 minutes, it does the thing where one person reports having seen supernatural activity and no one believes them.  That...that was annoying.  But then the rubber meets the road (or whatever).  In this case, the rubber is a latex monster mask that literally comes to life.  Director Richard Friedman has fun with inventive dream sequences, and astonishingly, manages to capture a few creepy images.  Kudos to child actor Josh Segal.  I believed that he was traumatized (at least I hope he was acting).  The music video angle is a tad silly, but it was 1987.  The soundtrack has its fans.  I know this because I have an Internet connection.  Scared Stiff isn't going to blow anyone away, but it does enough to warrant a weekend recommendation.  If it premiered on Shudder today, it would be hailed as a "masterclass in folk horror."  So there's that.