Two reminders!

#1 - I'm running a contest that ends in a week-ish.  #2 - Next month is Random Sequel Month!  Tell your friends and enemies.

Blood Capsule #282

MERIDIAN (1990)

I had to make a half-Z'Dar rating icon specifically for this review.  I never thought I would actually have to use it, as I can find something positive to say about most lemons I encounter.  But this...this broke me.  Charles Band should be ashamed of himself for directing Meridian, a feelbad, low-class "horror fantasy" that wastes a creature suit originally drafted for Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula.  Sherilyn Fenn stars as a broad abroad in Italy.  She inherited a castle, so naturally, she decides to immediately invite an entire troupe of strange carnival performers.  That's when Meridian decides to immediately become an abhorrent rape/revenge flick, only without the revenge.  Because when Catherine is drugged and violated by a mad magician (in slow-motion, for Christ's sake), she falls for his twin brother.  That's when I decided to immediately chuck my copy of Meridian into the garbage disposal.

This film bears the markings of any other Full Moon production, including a chimerical dwarf (played by Phil Fondacaro) and an equally chimerical score by Pino Dinaggio.  It's missing a key element, though - fun.  There isn't a single ounce of fun to be had, especially if you nod off here and there.  EDITOR'S NOTE: I may have nodded off here and there.  The pacing is listless, the dialogue is routinely ridiculous, and oh yeah, I don't want rape in my Full Moon movies!  Am I overreacting?  It would be one thing if I went in expecting grindhouse sleaze, but I wasn't exactly in the mood for Ms. 45.  Buyer beware.

A Band: Lost Soul

Lost Soul is listed as a technical death metal band on Metal Archives, but I'm not so sure that's accurate.  Yes, their music is technical, but it's just as accurate to simply label them as what they are - a Polish death metal band.  When I say "Polish death meal," what springs to mind?  Probably Vader, maybe Hate, maybe mid-era Behemoth...precise, supercharged death metal that takes a little bit from Florida and Sweden.  Early Lost Soul is predominantly blasty.  2000's Scream of the Mourning Star is an excellent debut, and it might as well be your starting point.

Personally, my favorite Lost Soul material can be found on 2005's Chaostream, which was their third long player if you're counting at home.  It's marked by seismic riffs that hit without warning (see "Godstate" to hear what I'm talking about).  Blastbeats are still excessive, but by this point, the band had found their inner groove.  Melody be damned, a song like "Shameless Race" piledrives its way into your brain.  2009's Immerse in Infinity is sonically epic, and it actually served as my introduction to Lost Soul.  Layers upon layers of lead guitars compete for your attention.  "...If the Dead Can Speak" is a killer track that climaxes with an expansive solo.  There are moments that could be confused for nu-metal, and they wouldn't work on any other album.  But they work here.

I know I already said that Chaostream was my favorite of the bunch, but between you and me, it's a toss-up.  Immerse in Infinity is just so massive.  2015 saw the release of Atlantis: The New Beginning, which currently stands as Lost Soul's final hour.  It's definitely their weakest effort, as everything sounds too massive.  It tries to be "high concept," but it collapses beneath chaotic guitar work and odd chanting.  Don't let that deter you from checking out Lost Soul, though.  Honestly, Chaostream is a sleeper pick, as it may be one of the strongest post-2000 death metal albums to come out of Central Europe.  Yep.

I thought I would end up typing a novel's worth of panegyric praise, and I probably still could, but I'll cap it here for the sake of brevity and sanity.  Lost Soul is listed as active, so maybe we'll get something new in the not-too-distant future?  Question mark???

Blood Capsule #281

EVE OF DESTRUCTION (1991)

In the last year or so, I've tried to broaden my horizons a bit.  What does that mean?  In terms of Blood Capsules, it means more science fiction.  Teenaged Dom (who is becoming a recurring character, it seems) would have strolled right past Eve of Destruction in the video store.  Of course, I probably would have been in the horror section anyway, but that belies my point.  I'm finding that there is a wide range of sci-fi nuggets that are wacky enough for my idiosyncratic sensibilities.  I'm also finding that "wacky" is a prerequisite in my household.  I mean, it's the perfect adjective for a film that pits Gregory Hines against a Terminator-esque android.  Why Gregory Hines?  No, I'm asking.  Why was he chosen to play a callous, hard-boiled colonel with the vocabulary of...well, Teenaged Dom?  That's not a compliment, by the way.  Hines gives it the old college try.  I don't know that he failed necessarily, but I was having a tough time buying him as a John McClane type.

I've gone and buried the lede.  This is a cool, energetic "action thriller," and yes, it hurt typing those words.  I won't let it happen again, though I concede that this is definitely not a horror flick.  It does come close enough for my purposes, as I like to say.  We do see some moist gore in the way of bionic intestines.  Speaking of which, Renée Soutendijk gives a cracking performance as both Eve and her all-too-human architect.  If there was any justice in this world, she would have received an Oscar nomination for her services rendered.  But there isn't, so she'll have to settle for the dinky praise of an online critic.  Eve of Destruction goes down smooth if you're in the market for brisk entertainment.  Having said that, I can see why it flopped in the States (it bypassed theaters altogether overseas).  It certainly won't light your VCR on fire.  I'm thinking 3.5 Z'Dars.  Recommended if your video store doesn't have copies of T2: Judgment Day.  Yeah, I'm still running with the VHS gag.  Call it a gimmick.

Random Song Alert

I have two main musical passions.  #1 - Metal.  #2 - 90's Rock.  There are times when the only thing that will scratch my itch is a band that seemed to slip through the cracks, which brings me to Catherine Wheel.  I guess you could fit them into the shoegaze category, but the album I'm most familiar with is 1995's Happy Days, a decidedly un-shoegaze collection of songs.  It's really just hard rock.  I don't ever remember seeing the video for "Waydown" on MTV, but man, what a tune!

Blood Capsule #280

THE MONSTER THAT CHALLENGED THE WORLD (1957)

I wasn't going to review this flick.  It was supposed to be a time waster, something to cool the sodden ducts of my brain after a hard day of...um, eating street tacos and listening to black metal.  Hey, I needed a break.  But as I watched The Monster That Challenged the World, I realized that it was playing chess where other b-pictures from the 50's would play checkers.  As far as metaphors go, that was pretty lousy, but I'm sticking with it.  Simply put, this seaside creature feature brings the heat.  Plus, I can technically file it under "aquatic horror," so you can add gratuity to the bill.  The plot is standard.  After an earthquake tears a fissure in the ocean floor, an aggressive, atomically-charged strain of mollusks seeps through the vents, attacking Navy parachute jumpers and lovebird night swimmers alike.  I can hear you now.  "A mollusk?"  Yes, they could be called distant cousins to the snail (or the suburban couch dad).  Off the top of my head, I can't name any other mollusk mutants.  Can you?

We're dealing with a plurality of monsters, but we only see them one at a time.  And they are fantastic.  They challenge the world alright, but what gives the screenplay a dash of zest is a pronounced sense of humor and a collection of folks you are conditioned to care about.  You can tell that writers Pat Fielder and David Duncan actually liked the characters they created.  As much as I value a corpse that has been drained of all fluids, I became attached to the leads myself.  This film is not without blemish.  You could probably trim ten minutes from the running time, which isn't particularly long to begin with.  I'm picking at nits.  The Monster That Challenged the World is available to stream on Amazon Prime.  Do it.  At this point, Amazon should just pay me to write these capsules.  I've always wanted an opportunity to sell out and litigate my integrity.  Why, I could challenge the world!

Contest? Contest!

Hopefully, I've picked up some new readers in recent weeks.  If so, welcome!  Every so often, I run a contest, a very cool, very random giveaway that is super easy to enter.  All you have to do is click HERE, join my Facebook group, and...that's it!  The winner will be chosen at random (are you sensing a theme yet?).  You have two weeks to enter.  U.S. residents only.

So what will you win?  A care package full of movies, comic books, magazines, maybe cassette tapes, and whatever else I decide to throw in.  It will help if you're into metal and/or horror.  Just saying.  Dig it?  Dig it!

Blood Capsule #279

FINAL DESTINATION (2000)

Typically, I cower in the comfortable bowels of obscurity, but every once in awhile, I like to review a film that might have been watched by other human eyes.  It's not without precedent.  I do flirt with the mainstream.  Whether it flirts back or not, well, that's why I always crawl back into the darkness.  But before I do!  Let's talk about Final Destination, a movie I have now seen twice.  Upon the first viewing, I was a pesky, mercurial teenager, and I wasn't crazy about it.  I remember feeling that it was a paint-by-numbers slasher disguised as something more intellectual.  For some reason, I resented it for being popular with the horror crowd.  I was weird back then.  Okay, weirder.  After revisiting this slick supernatural thriller (???), I've decided to change my tune.  Teenaged Dom wasn't right about everything, despite his claims to the contrary.

I don't know that I can pinpoint one aspect of Final Destination that worked its magic on me.  But overall, it did.  The story of a high schooler cheating death, while not entirely novel, does allow for folks such as Devon Sawa and Ali Larter to deliver poised performances with pathos.  The death sequences strike a happy balance between painstakingly precise (the shower cord strangulation) and straight-up grotesque (the railway decapitation).  There are plenty of chills and spills, enough to make this an optimal date movie (y'know, if you're into that sort of thing).  Still, I wouldn't say this was my favorite of the franchise.  I need to revisit them to be sure, but it's hard to go wrong with A.J. Cook in Final Destination 2.  Man, teenaged Dom was head over heels for her back in the day.  I guess he was right some of the time.  Does this flick even require a recommendation?  I'll recommend it anyway...for fans of late 90's cheese and departure lounges.  Don't forget departure lounges.