Blood Capsule #259

MANDROID (1993)

One user review on IMDb calls this film "undemanding."  By God, that's the perfect adjective to describe Mandroid.  Why am I even bothering with this Blood Capsule?  I don't see how I can add anything substantive to reviews that already dissect this detritus.  Actually, that's a bit strong.  This is no less judicious than any other Full Moon flick.  So in other words, I admire it.  I don't know that I would call Mandroid a horror feature, but it's close enough for my purposes.  Scientists have built a robot that mines the potential of Supercon, a newly discovered element so dangerous, it can't be processed by human hands.  Scientist A is levelheaded about the implications of such a tech-epiphany.  Scientist B wants all of the credit for Supercon, and he wants to use it to mass-market android suits that would make our military all the more devastating.  Scientist C couldn't be reached for comment.

The entertainment value of Mandroid is directly proportionate to your tastebuds as they relate to robotics.  Me, I can dig a solid riff on RoboCop.  This one does the right things, but it translates as dull.  Dishwater dull.  The cast is certainly game.  Jane Caldwell is inviting as Zanna (the daughter of Scientist A), while Brian Cousins fares well as the gum-chewing Wade (I think the gum-chewing is supposed to be a character trait).  There just isn't much...pizzazz?  Perhaps Charles Band should have tossed a tiny monster into the script.  Believe it or not, Mandroid was gifted a sequel.  Invisible: The Chronicles of Benjamin Knight came out in the same calendar year.  I guess it would be considered a spinoff, as it followed a minor player in Mandroid.  So it's Full Moon's Frasier.  Honestly, I'm more likely to binge-watch Frasier than I am to rent Invisible.

Recommended to fans of The Guyver and microscope slides.

Site Update

Pay no mind to the Barracuda poster.  I just needed an image and that was the last movie I watched.  Speaking of which, I have completed all of the reviews for Mummy Month!  Yep, they're in the can.  If you're new here, next month is Mummy Month, and I can safely say that it will be cataclysmic.  Brace yourself?  I'm thinking April might have its own gimmick, but I'm not ready to announce it just yet.  So don't get too excited.

I also have new editions of Rassle Inn and Now Playing coming down the pike.  Now would be a good time to promote my Patreon.  Click HERE!  I don't do New Year's resolutions, but I would love to grab some new subscribers in 2025.  Still bracing yourself?  Cool, just keep doing that.

Blood Capsule #258

THE PROJECTED MAN (1966)

I enjoyed this film quite a bit, so I was surprised to learn that it was roasted on Mystery Science Theater 3000.  I was more surprised by the fact that I had not seen that particular episode.  It ran during the Mike era, which is my preferred block of MST3K chicanery.  I'm going to check it out posthaste, mainly because I'm curious as to how the guys/robots approach excoriating what I consider to be "legitimate" science fiction (as opposed to The Prince of Space anyway).  Am I alone on this one?  Has my taste degraded so much over the years, that I can't recognize bilge when it's staring me in the face?  I know it's trash, but these days, I prefer trash.  Hmm, what does it say about me that I'd rather watch The Projected Man than the latest Blumhouse offering?  It's a curious flick that borrows a bit of pseudo-science from The Fly.  Dr. Steiner has developed a laser beam that can transmit molecules from one side of the room to the other.  I'll be using similar technology to transmit the rest of this synopsis to the next paragraph.

The laser is successfully tested on a live subject (a chimpanzee), so Steiner goes under the beam in a bid to validate his experiments to the dodgy fellows who are funding his research.  Of course, something goes awry.  The transmission is interrupted, causing Steiner to materialize elsewhere as a raging, deformed conductor of electricity.  If this sounds like the schematic for a Universal horror film, that's because it's a Universal horror film.  It's too bad that The Projected Man was produced a few decades too late.  It was released stateside as part of a double bill with Island of Terror, and by all accounts, it was pretty much a flop.  But I dug it.  The special effects are fun, as we see Steiner char his victims to a crisp by merely touching them.  I will usually frown on love triangles in vintage b-movies, but here, the writing is sharp.  It doesn't hurt that I liked all of the main players.

Recommended if you thought that The Fly had too many flies in it.

Blood Capsule #257

MYSTERY ON MONSTER ISLAND (1981)

Twenty years ago (or thereabouts), I caught a sliver of this movie on a Saturday morning.  Until last night, all I remembered was the fact that it contained a roving pack of fishmen.  If you know me, you know that's a big deal.  I've made it a mission to see every motion picture that involves a fishman in some way, shape, or form.  Mystery on Monster Island does fit the criteria, but I'm sad to report that these gilled marauders only appear in one scene.  They look preposterous, and I love them very much.  But what about the rest of this island adventure?  Peter Cushing is top-billed.  Of course, he has approximately three minutes of total screen time.  He sends his nephew on an ocean voyage to give him a dose of reality.  Considering the ludicrous twist ending (more on that later), that's awfully ironic.  Along the way, we meet cannibals, dino-goliaths, and cave-dwelling...um, caterpillars?  Don't forget the fishmen.

As my rating indicates, watching Mystery on Monster Island was a pleasant experience.  The pace is brisk, the special effects are charming, and the comedy relief wasn't too vexing (the foppish tutor was a bit much).  There is a stipulation, though.  All of the innocuous good faith that the film accumulates is nearly rendered meaningless by the ending.  This is where I spoil the twist, so look away if you have a sensitive stomach.  All of the monsters on Monster Island?  Toys!  The cannibals?  Actors!  Yes, Mystery resorts to using the "Scooby-Doo rule."  I hate the "Scooby-Doo rule."  Part of me thinks that director Juan Piquer Simon wanted a built-in excuse for shoddy puppetry and unfinished creature suits.  It's supposed to look fake!  That's actually clever, but I'm still peeved.  Three Z'Dars because I have a soft spot for Saturday morning nonsense.  Make no mistake; this is nonsense.

The French one-sheet.

WWF + 1995 = Nostalgia Crack

The second I saw this video, I knew I had to write something about it.  First of all, WWE's "vault" YouTube channel has been killing it lately.  I've shared some of their content before, but this...this is gold.  GOLD!  It's a slice-of-life video from 1995.  Specifically, it's behind-the-scenes footage from the production of Monday Night Raw's iconic "rooftop" intro.  It's only fourteen minutes, but it contains so many incredible things for nerds like me who grew up watching the New Generation era.

We see Goldust and Hunter Hearst Helmsley play an arcade game while The Undertaker watches.  Later on, 'Taker and Razor Ramon protect kayfabe while riding an elevator together.  It's nuts!  Makes me want to revisit certain episodes of Raw in anticipation of the debut on Netflix.

Blood Capsule #256

SOUNDS OF SILENCE (1989)

Here we have a film begging for a Blu-ray release.  Vinegar Syndrome, are you listening?  Actually, any boutique label will do, so I won't be picky.  Sounds of Silence is exceedingly obscure, but strangely enough, it's readily available to stream if you check some of the more obvious platforms.  I didn't think to look before I watched my well-worn VHS copy.  Suffice to say, the picture and sound quality left something to be desired.  I was able to spot an agreeable supernatural thriller beaming through the washed out colors, though.  After inheriting a voluminous estate in Sweden, a photographer - Peter - and his writer girlfriend - Sarah - decide to check the place out.  With Sarah's deaf son in tow, they are met with the kind of acrimony you would expect to find in a small village that was seemingly lifted from Bram Stoker's Dracula (different country, same general idea).  To make matters more convoluted, the deaf son befriends an orphan named Bill.

I don't consider this to be a heavy-duty spoiler, but if you don't want to know anything about Sounds of Silence, stop reading...now.  That Bill bloke?  He's dead!  Oh my God!  Y'know, with the benefit of hindsight, I can see that I should have put a little distance between my spoiler and my spoiler warning.  Trust me, friend; this flick is still worth tracking down.  Certain scenes are relayed from the unique perspective of a disabled child.  That raises the stakes a bit.  Plus, director Peter Borg uses every fog machine in Sweden to ensure that the atmosphere is positively unearthly.  In terms of the storyline, most of the plot "twists" are fairly easy to predict.  This isn't a masterpiece, but I'm surprised that I had never heard of it until recently.  Recommended to fans of The Orphanage and handicapped placards.  This is a "no parking" zone, by the way.  Scram!

Random Match Alert

Remember Wrestling Society X?  I don't.  I mean, I never watched it, but it's fun to go back and find bizarro matches like this.  Tyler-Seth Rollins-Black and Jimmy Jacobs square off against Team Dragon Gate, circa 2007.  It's weird.  Enjoy?

Blood Capsule #255

REPTILICUS (1961)

If you look on IMDb, there are two people credited with directing this film.  That's a misnomer, as there are two different versions of Reptilicus.  From what I understand, they were shot together much in the same way that the Spanish version of 1931's Dracula was shot while Bela Lugosi was off brooding in a corner somewhere.  I'm reviewing the American cut.  I have yet to watch the Danish cut, but while the actors are speaking another language, the two movies are virtually identical.  Any discrepancies are negligible, aside from the fact that the monster flies in the Danish version.  Also, the American version adds splashes of "acid vomit," and cripes, I'm tired of typing "version."  Regardless of which Reptilicus you are babysitting, it's a hoot.  Well, it's a minor hoot.  I hate to sound like a world-weary critic, but in my opinion, there are better Godzilla knockoffs out there.

I'm getting ahead of myself.  How about a synopsis?  Mining engineers drill upon well-preserved chunks of a prehistoric giant.  The fossils, varying in (de)composition, are taken to a laboratory where scientists discover that the primordial flesh can regenerate itself.  It doesn't take long for the behemoth - dubbed Reptilicus by the media - to thaw out and begin destroying urban locales in Copenhagen.  As for the special effects, this b-quickie forgoes traditional methods (stop-motion, man in a suit, etc.) in favor of a marionette.  Friends, it's simply adorable.  If Reptilicus emerged from the Atlantic Ocean and demolished skyscrapers on the east coast, my gut reaction would be to ask my mom if I could keep it.  Naturally, anything that doesn't involve Reptilicus (y'know, in Reptilicus) comes across as mundane.  Characters are interchangeable.  On the acting front, the cast isn't anchored by any one performance, unless you're spellbound by old dudes in white coats.

I hate to end things on a downer, so I'll mention that Vinegar Syndrome's 4K/Blu-ray release of Reptilicus is splendid.  I guarantee that no one else is nerdy enough to point this out, but certain scenes are eerily reminiscent of an Outer Limits episode called "Tourist Attraction."  If you know what I'm talking about, we're automatically besties.