Random Reviews: Lukewarm Coke for only $3???

3/25/13

Lukewarm Coke for only $3???

You haven't lived until Jake "The Snake" Roberts has told you to go fuck yourself. Of course, he was just goofing around, but still...that was awesome. So yeah, Jake was one of the celebrities I met at the second annual Mad Monster Party, a horror convention located in Charlotte, North Carolina. Ardent fans of the site might recall that I also attended last year. It was my first real convention experience, and I wondered if a repeat visit would stupefy me in the same quixotic fashion. I knew what to expect, but I was still taken aback by the sight of certain "stars." Catching a glimpse of Gary Busey was quite surreal.

Going in, I had a game plan. I wanted to focus more on autographs, although I did accost the VHSPS booth. Bear in mind, funds were limited (aren't they always?), so I netted three autographs. First, I chatted up pet psychic Amelia Kinkade. Most of you know her as Angela from the Night of the Demons trilogy. Oh, who am I kidding? Everyone knows her as Angie, and no one at the con gave a custardfuck about her loopy predisposition for animal ESP. By the way, cosmetic surgery has rendered her unrecognizable. Great rack, though.

Amelia was sitting next to Linnea Quigley, the main attraction (as far as I'm concerned). She was super friendly, and she made sure to give each fan her undivided attention. Class act. While we were waiting in her line, Sgt. motherfucking Slaughter brushed by our sleeves. Christ, that turned my brain inside out. I should note that "we" includes my pal, Paul the Intrepid Spider Wrangler. At any rate, Jake Roberts yelled at us and sent us on our merry way with a wink. I didn't realize it until later, but he gave me his signature free of charge (along with a sweet DVD, also signed). He is expeditiously ascending to the top of my list of all-time favorite wrasslers.

Random nuggets separated by letters...GO! A) I spotted Kirk Hammett gallivanting about in the dealer room with his security guard. I shudder to think how many bags of cool memorabilia he took home that night. B) I came close to working up the courage to say something (something artlessly nerdy, no doubt) to Danny Glover, but I feel weird approaching a guest if I have no intention of handing him/her money. "I'm a big fan, but I'm not that big of a fan." C) Cerina Vincent waved at me and smiled. Is a courtship in order? Yes. I'm positive. D) Seriously, room temperature soda for three bucks???

I wasn't able to stay as long as I would have liked, but I covered a lot of ground. In terms of merchandise, I picked up a rad Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man t-shirt. I didn't really collect much swag, what with cash being a finite resource. But I had a blast, and if you live in the Carolinas, you need to show up next year. Here are a handful of still photographs...