Kaijunado

A few hours ago, I returned from seeing Pacific Rim.  It was my most anticipated film of 2013, and I didn't expect to be disappointed.  I wasn't.  This is basically a 90's-style summer blockbuster, only good.  In fact, I noticed striking similarities to Armageddon and Independence Day.  The ending is (perhaps unavoidably) maudlin, and I was able to predict each beat.  But hey, audiences have had enough of doleful, cynical action epics.  I suppose it was time for someone to deliver honest-to-Odin fun.  Guillermo Del Toro is certainly qualified, as this popcorn flick fits nicely next to his other big-budget outings.

The CGI is downright jaw-dropping, the action sequences kick ass and the characters are grounded (relatively speaking).  I wanted to see more of the "Category 5" kaiju, but overall, I dug the monsters on display.  I totally need a Knifehead figure.  I think it's pretty goddamn awesome that Del Toro drew inspiration from the original Gamera series.  I mean, I'm assuming.  I was reminded of Guiron and Zigra, in particular.  My favorite scene involved Ian Ziering lobbing explosives into a tornado teeming with sharks.  Wait, that was Sharknado.  I get those two confused all the time!

I missed this milk curd when it premiered on Syfy, but I made sure to download it.  I wasn't going to miss Snarknado.  No, ma'am.  It doesn't become a true b-movie spectacle until the third act.  It definitely tested my already limited supply of patience, but I'm glad that I stuck with it.  It was worth it just to observe Tara Reid trying to act like a normal, responsible adult.  If you can withstand the scurvy dialogue and the enervating exposition, you might as well Redbox it.  Yes, the below image is an actual screenshot from Sharknado.  Oh, Asylum...can you imagine if this was a ripoff of a major studio "shark tornado" vehicle?