NXT Round-Up

I really just want to talk about the main event, but I guess I can talk about the other matches.  I GUESS.  And I'm not accidentally deleting this post either.  You hear me, world???

MAURO IS BACK ~ Yay!  Suffice to say, I doubt that we'll be hearing his top-echelon commentary on Raw or Smackdown (the shows that desperately need him), but at least he's on the show that rules the roost.  From what I understand, he will also be announcing at Takeover events.  Another boastful, commemorative "yay" is in order.

THE PATRICK CLARK EXPERIENCE ~ Mr. Velveteen washed his hands of Ho Ho Lun in less than three minutes.  I pray to Joshua Crickets that the double entendre was intentional.  You see, when Clark went for the final cover, his junk landed on Lun's face.  It was described as cocky.  I was reminded of vintage Goldust and the way that Jerry Lawler would suggest homoerotic absurdities whenever The Golden One appeared in the ring.  Not that homoeroticism is absurd; even a gay man would view old Goldust matches as absurd. I wonder if Clark sought out Goldie's advice on how to access his mean streak.  He transitions from flamboyant to vicious remarkably well.

BACKSTAGE SIDENOTE ~ Heavy Machinery are now the number one contenders for the NXT Tag Team Titles.  What does this mean? It means we're fresh out of tag teams!  Replenish the stock.  Or rush TM-61 back into action.  Don't get me wrong, mates; I dig Heavy Machinery, but it seems a bit early, does it not?

HIDEO ITAMI VS. ONEY LORCAN ~ Looked like Itami's nose was legit broken.  These two work stiff as fuck.  They keep teasing a full-blown heel turn for Itami, but I hope it comes sooner than later. That's just me being selfish.

LAST WOMAN STANDING ~ Twenty minutes of no-holds-barred wrestling, pitting Asuka against Nikki Cross...dandy!  I loved this shit. Unlike the women's Money in the Bank matches, this fight didn't leave me wanting more.  They took advantage of weapons in logical ways, and as silly as it sounds, the violence had a sinuous flow to it, capping off with a serious "fuck yeah" moment.  Fuck yeah, ladies!

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