PS-Buy the first book HERE.
3/22/26
10
3/20/26
Blood Capsule #378
THE VALLEY OF GWANGI (1969)
Dinosaurs and...cowboys? Sure, why not? Actually, there is a quasi-niche that combines the cosmetic properties of the western with science fiction. You may remember 2011's Cowboys and Aliens. This film was originally dreamed up to be the follow-up to 1933's King Kong. After Willis O'Brien died in 1962, producer Charles Schneer decided to revive the project with Ray Harryhausen handling the stop-motion effects. I'm a Harryhausen nut (it could be argued that I'm a stop-motion nut in general), so The Valley of Gwangi is pretty close to my wheelhouse. Is a wheelhouse a regular house on wheels? Or are we talking about a house full of casters and sprockets of all sizes? Nevermind. Gila Golan plays T.J. Breckenridge, a rodeo performer looking to spice up her act. James Franciscus is Tuck Kirby, a jerk who sexually harasses his way into the behind-the-scenes machinations of T.J.'s stage show. Of course, he's depicted as a heartthrob. Whatever, man. Eventually, they stumble upon a wild Eohippus. What's an Eohippus? I might tell you in the next paragraph.
An Eohippus is a pygmy horse that went extinct roughly 50 million years ago. Apparently, it was discovered in the valley of the "Gwangi," a dinosaur that lacks people skills. To be more specific, it's an Allosaurus - an "almost T-Rex" - that steals/chews the scenery. Do I really need to comment on the visuals here? Obviously, the dino scrapes look outstanding, especially the bit where four or five cowboys attempt to lasso the beast. We also see a Styracosaurus and an Ornithomimus, if that means anything to you. The human drama pales in comparison to the sci-fi insanity. Plot holes threaten to undermine the third act, although I advise against watching The Valley of Gwangi as a script supervisor. It's just silly fun. Harryhausen's efforts are worth the price of admission alone, but if you're angling to check out his resume, I'd start elsewhere. Maybe The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms.
Recommended to fans of The Black Scorpion and rodeo-themed bumper stickers that read Buck Around, Find Out.
3/16/26
Blood Capsule #377
PRIMITIVE WAR (2025)
I'm not big on war movies. Having said that, I like the conceit of tossing dinosaurs into pre-existing templates, the war movie included. Dog Soldiers succeeded by tossing werewolves into the war movie. So there is a precedent. I really wanted to turn my brain off and enjoy Primitive War. Of course, you can probably tell by that sentence that I ran into some opposition. First, a synopsis. The military encounters dinosaurs. Okey-dokey, now what? It may sound as though I disapprove of the unpretentious nature of the premise, but that couldn't be further from the truth. The plot is fine. Unfortunately, it was an hour into the film before I could identify any of the characters. We have a mess of troops and Jeremy Piven. Such random casting. Even if I learned their names, I couldn't make heads or tails of...well, their heads or tails on account of the dark imagery. I don't mean thematically; the picture is literally dark, an annoying Hollywood trend that I hereby dub "non-lighting." It doesn't matter if the action sequences are cool if I can't see them.
As for the dinosaurs, the CGI is clean as expected. There was never a chance that the special effects department wouldn't hold up their end of the bargain, but with this kind of budget, it's hard to heap praises on anyone for doing their job. Give Fred Olen Ray millions of dollars. I'm sure he could turn out a decent monster or two. I'm not all doom and gloom. The pace picks up steam after the halfway mark, and at a certain point, I started enjoying myself. That's bound to happen with a fleet of raptors involved. We get mild blood, but there are no stand-out bits of gore. If it weren't for excessive (and quite frankly, pointless) profanity, Primitive War would be rated PG-13. I don't know, man. If it's slick dino skirmishes you want, you might as well stick to the Jurassic World circus exhibit. Maybe this flick just caught me on the wrong day. I'm gonna go watch something directed by Fred Olen Ray.
3/13/26
{REPOST} April will be...
...Random Robot Month! I've already written over half of the reviews for it. It's an eclectic mix as usual. All robots, all random. There likely won't be any more theme months as we wind the site down, unless something organically presents itself. Including the Blood Capsules you haven't read yet, I only have fifteen more to write before beginning work on my second book in earnest. A little sad, yes, but also exciting!
3/12/26
Blood Capsule #376
PREHYSTERIA! 3 (1995)
If you watch this junk on VHS (and if you have any self-respect, you will), you'll notice that unlike the first two Prehysteria! entries, there is no Videozone featurette after the movie. No cute "behind the scenes" fluff. That's by design, dear reader. By this point, Charles Band had stopped trying with this series. That's saying something, considering that Prehysteria! 2 saw a precipitous downturn in entertainment value. 3 is still entertaining, but for all the wrong reasons. Red flag number one? This flick is directed by David DeCoteau. Also, the special effects that salvaged the second film are...hold on, let me reach for my thesaurus. Ahem. The effects have collapsed. Withered. Deteriorated. Degenerated. Putrefied. Worsened. The tiny dinosaurs barely move, and in some painful instances, they don't move at all. What's more, the characters react to seeing them as if they are gawking at gerbils. No one is impressed by the sight of a prehistoric beast trudging about on a golf course. Yes, a golf course.
Technically, you can put Prehysteria! 3 in the same bracket as The Mighty Ducks or Little Big League. Ella is a junior golfer. When she discovers the bite-size dinos, she uses them to turn her dad's failing putt-putt course into a booming business. Yeah, that's the plot. The dinos don't really matter. Fred Willard is the dad, and he essentially plays Fred Willard. Whitney Anderson gets into the spirit as our lead brat. She's obsessed with Sean Connery for some reason. Jesus, Prehysteria! 3 is weird. The budget must have been miniscule. Oddly, there are no interior shots of Ella's house, and all of the action takes place at a country club. The pterosaur - y'know, the flying reptile - is never seen flying. Oof. The dinos end up serving hamburgers to golf patrons via the concession stand. For God's sake, they're called Dino-Burgers. If I were a dino, I would watch my back. Um, don't watch Prehysteria! 3.
3/10/26
April will be...
...Random Robot Month! I've already written over half of the reviews for it. It's an eclectic mix as usual. All robots, all random. There likely won't be any more theme months as we wind the site down, unless something organically presents itself. Including the Blood Capsules you haven't read yet, I only have fifteen more to write before beginning work on my second book in earnest. A little sad, yes, but also exciting!
3/8/26
Blood Capsule #375
PREHYSTERIA! 2 (1994)
So the main brat in this film was played by Kevin Connors. Does that name ring a bell? It shouldn't. He was also the brat in Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead. And aside from a supporting role in Pleasantville, that was the extent of his Hollywood career. How positively random. Here, he is Brendan, a spoiled brat who we're supposed to get behind. Sorry, I couldn't do it. I knew this was going to be a substandard sequel when it was revealed that Brendan had a bedroom full of expensive toys and games that he didn't play with. Yeah, he's one of those kids. He encounters bullies within the first 15 minutes, and you know what? I was rooting for the bullies. Jennifer Harte isn't quite as exacerbating as the less fortunate pal, but this is her only screen credit. EDITOR'S NOTE: I was going to write a joke that involved dinosaurs and sexual assault, but...um, I thought better of it. Maybe this is the joke. Pretend these sentences never happened.
The (off-screen) family from the first movie leaves their precious dino-cargo in the hands of their gardener. Of course, the little beasties are abducted and wind up in the auspices of ol' Brendan. The dinosaurs are still cute, but I'll level with you. Prehysteria! 2 is stupid. The comedy is dumber, the pratfalls are harder to believe (apparently, the dinos are fluent in English), and we don't even get a decent antagonist. The closest we come to a true villain is a "governess" who acts as a geriatric tyrant. Blegh. On the upside, Charles Band's Moonbeam imprint was still able to siphon sweet coin from Paramount, so at the very least, the production values are clean. All of the special effects remain impressive. However, the mini-dinos are very nearly relegated to "B" plot status. You don't put mini-dinos in your "B" plot. If you're wondering, yes, I'm going to finish the trilogy. Realistically, I don't know how many more words I can write about these movies, but we'll find out together.
3/4/26
Blood Capsule #374
PREHYSTERIA! (1993)
I know, I know...this isn't a horror film. Do I really need to explain the b-movie appeal of a Charles Band joint full of pygmy dinosaurs? Prehysteria! is right up my alley. As a kid, I was a dino freak, so I don't know how my childhood subsisted without taking in at least one of these things. I used "pygmy" as a modifier, but truth be told, this is simply a story about miniature dinosaurs that hatch in Jerry's basement. Haven't we all hatched in Jerry's basement at one point or another? So Jerry is played by Austin O'Brien. This was his first major role. He later starred in Last Action Hero, which I can't believe I haven't seen (love the soundtrack, though). I'm skittering off-topic. The miniature dinosaurs! They're adorable. We have a class clown Tyrannosaurus Rex, a moody Brachiosaurus, a featureless Stegosaurus (he isn't given much of a personality), a hungry Chasmosaurus (basically, a generic Triceratops), and a flighty pterosaur (pun totally intended).
The special effects are outstanding. Dino dudes practically jump off the screen through a spiffy combination of stop-motion and rod puppetry. I realize that I'm focusing on the technical aspects of Prehysteria!, but there is an inviting story being told here. As can be expected, we see a greasy antagonist get his comeuppance. Tony Longo is instantly recognizable as a "big lug" type. He's one of those character actors that pops up in dozens of movies, most of them family-friendly affairs. Speaking of which, this is something that you can watch with anyone. I don't review many films that fall into that category, so this was a nice change of pace. Almost faultless, in fact. I'm curious to see how the sequels fare. Famous last words? Random trivia! Prehysteria! was the first Moonbeam production. I'm going to try to collect them all on VHS. A man should have priorities, shouldn't he?
3/2/26
Don't bury the lede...
So they barely mentioned it on Raw, but my favorite tag team of all time is headed for the WWE Hall of Fame...finally! Yes, I'm here to remind you that Ax and Smash (and maybe even Crush?) of Demolition will be receiving the honors. Man, they scared the bejeezus out of me when I was four years old. Don't believe anyone who tries to sell them as "diet Legion of Doom." Put some respect on their name!
2/28/26
Blood Capsule #373
SLEEPSTALKER (1995)
Sleepstalker was directed by Turi Meyer. Apparently, this bloke would go on to helm Candyman: Day of the Dead, one of the most disappointing sequels in horror history. On principle alone, that should color my opinion of this flick, but I'll approach it with objectivity anyway. Actually, this is a decent supernatural slasher. I know I said I was being objective, buuut 1995 happens to be my year of choice when it comes to pop culture nostalgia (I've probably said that elsewhere). There were no trends to follow in '95, which resulted in a motley grab bag of horrors. Sleepstalker attempts to turn The Sandman into a steely spook icon. We start with a prologue. 9-year-old Griffin watches as a serial killer dispatches his parents and scatters sand over their eyelids. Griffin would be the next victim in line, but police arrive in time to slap handcuffs on the gimmicky baddie. Fifteen years later, The Sandman is finally on death row. He must have rented Shocker because he finds a way to stalk Griffin from beyond the grave.
NOTE TO SELF: Revisit Shocker. At any rate, the script proposes some voodoo malarkey. We end up with a villain made of sand. Okay, that's fine. Without divulging spoilers, there are a few significant plot holes that harshed my mellow. I'll say that...well, I'll say nothing. The Sandman himself is a cool villain, although I could do without the typical nursery rhyme dialogue. The pacing feels reserved. I didn't realize that Sleepstalker ran for over 100 minutes, but yeah, it's a tad bloated. Still, it's worth my endorsement. For the most part, the characters have their wits about them. Maybe I just enjoy something that was created in a very, very different vacuum. Let's face it; this film would not fare well in the modern zeitgeist. Hell, folks weren't particularly fond of it in 1995. Recommended to fans of Shocker (shocker!) and that one Metallica song that I never need to hear again.
2/25/26
Blood Capsule #372
HORRORVISION (2001)
Remember Feardotcom? It was stupid, right? Well, Horrorvision makes Feardotcom look like The Seventh Seal. God, this movie is terrible. First of all, I'm only writing one paragraph about this hydraulic press vasectomy (I have no idea how that would work, by the way; I'm feeling my way through this). Life is too short. I guess I should get the synopsis out of the way. Logging onto Horrorvision will zap you into another dimension. My advice for the characters of this passion play? Don't log onto Horrorvision. Problem solved, crisis averted. Unfortunately, our lead dweeb loses his girlfriend to this...thing. We do see a cool robot monster in the last ten minutes, but by that point, I was choking on sand. Oh, the main players drive around the desert for what feels like three hours. Here is what I don't get. Horrorvision was co-written by J.R. Bookwalter, a guy who has crafted some magnificent z-grade cheese (I'm particularly fond of 1995's The Sandman). Maybe he was sick when he contributed to this quandary.
Okay, I'll start a new paragraph to say that Maggie Rose Fleck is a little too talented to be in this motion picture. She plays the aforementioned girlfriend. I liked her, but of course, she dies in the first act. Why couldn't I die in the first act? Horrorvision gets one Z'Dar. That's a half-Z'Dar for Maggie and a half-Z'Dar for the robot monster. Get me out of this review.
2/23/26
Mad Monster Party: The Evidence
This past Saturday, I attended the Mad Monster Party horror convention in Concord, North Carolina with one of my best buddies. Had a blast. I might do a YouTube video later on where I go over my haul. What's that saying? A fool and his money parted ways? Yeah, I got a lot of crap. Here's some pics! Click to enlarge.
2/22/26
Blood Capsule #371
JOE'S APARTMENT (1996)
The reviews in my first book didn't have an overarching theme. Likewise, the second book (which is being written, like, right now) doesn't stick to a plan, although I have noticed that a certain subgenre is creeping to the fore. I guess it's more of an idea than a subgenre, but to what am I referring? Movies that dance on the periphery of the horror genre. Joe's Apartment is a comedy first and foremost. Depending on how you feel about bugs, it could be seen as an outright horror romp. In the roach arena (dear God, imagine a "roach arena"), I consider 1988's The Nest to be the top dog. Of course, I wouldn't be me if I didn't mention one-fifth of Creepshow. The gross-out death of Upson Pratt is a high-water mark in my household. This flick doesn't approach those lofty heights, but it's seriously entertaining. I'm old enough to remember seeing the original short on MTV in between commercial breaks. Was there enough meat on that bone to stretch Joe's Apartment into a feature? Intriguing question.
A fresh-faced Jerry O'Connell plays Joe, an indolent slob who has moved out on his own and chanced into a rent-controlled apartment thanks to the timely passing of...some lady. Seems too good to be true. In most cases, that would be the fact of the matter. But in most cases, Joe wouldn't have to worry about a horde of singing, dancing cockroaches. My synopsis is far too charming. The premise of Joe's Apartment tosses believability right out the window. That only becomes problematic toward the end where it feels like you're watching a cartoon. But wait! I did say that I was entertained. This film is an incredible technical achievement. The special effects combine CGI, stop-motion animation, and yes, live roaches (there is a "roach wrangler" credited; I sincerely hope he was paid well). While I wouldn't say that I'm afraid of insects, I'm not immune to heebies or jeebies. You know what? Forget what I said earlier. Put Joe's Apartment directly in the horror section.
Random trivia alert! There is a one-second cameo by Bam Bam Bigelow. I'm surprised that his involvement wasn't mentioned in his episode of Dark Side of the Ring.
2/18/26
Blood Capsule #370
EQUINOX (1970)
I've been wanting to review this film for ages. It's a marvel of low-budget effects wizardry, and it has a kinetic energy that gives me sustenance. While it's unclear if Sam Raimi ever saw Equinox, it could be seen as a dry run for The Evil Dead. In both films, four characters discover a strange book. Here, the spooky tome is unearthed in a cave. They are even led to a cabin in the woods, although it's been destroyed by a Lovecraftian beast. I'm getting ahead of myself. This flick features winged demons, disappearing castles, and a shifty-eyed cop named Asmodeus. Need I say more? I won't try to be super cool by suggesting that Equinox is superior to The Evil Dead. Because it isn't. But! It's totally awesome. Hopefully, I don't have to sell you on stop-motion creatures and psychedelic undertones. The bulk of the picture is relayed via flashbacks. I should start writing these capsules via flashback.
A reporter visits a man in a sanitarium who swears that his girlfriend and his professor have been slain by supernatural forces. He freaks out when the orderlies commandeer his crucifix. That couldn't possibly mean anything substantial, could it? Equinox was made for less than $10,000, but honestly, you can't tell. Aside from the incredible effects (Ray Harryhausen would be proud), the acting is...okay, I admit my standards are low, but I thought these no-name cats were giving it their all. Apologies if you have actually heard of Edward Connell and Barbara Hewitt. Oh, there's a green ogre. I forgot about the green ogre. Folks, this drive-in hit isn't without its hiccups, but gee golly, it's entertaining as heck. I don't usually use that kind of language, so you know I mean business.
2/17/26
April, April, April
I've officially started writing the reviews for April. There is a theme, but I won't reveal it until Random Dinosaur Month has been cooking for a couple of weeks. All I can say is that it won't be Random Turtle Month. And yes, Raphael is my favorite. He's clearly the coolest!
2/14/26
Blood Capsule #369
I, ZOMBIE (1998)
There is some "mockumentary" window dressing around I, Zombie (the film opens with supposed interview footage), but the gimmick is dropped almost immediately. It pops back up later, but there is no real cohesion. Truth be told, this might have been a more rewarding sit as a full-on mockumentary. What we have here is a zombie character study. I'm not so sure those words should ever appear in a sentence together. There is plenty of grue to go with it, and the low-budget makeup effects are exquisite at times. At times. Where did I leave my synopsis? Mark is bitten by a zombie. He tries to make sense of it all as his skin becomes sallow and he develops a hankering for human flesh. Essentially, you watch Mark decompose for 79 minutes. Does that sound...fun?
There may be something valid in wanting to create an intimate, small-scale zombie rager, but I don't know that I would have chosen to go that route for the first release on my video label. That's what Fangoria did. I was a subscriber to the magazine in the late 90's, and I remember seeing ads for I, Zombie (as well as its follow-up, 2001's Dead Creatures) all over the place. I didn't take a chance on it until 2026. Um, I don't know if that's a reflection of the ads or the film itself, but either way, I can't say I had a blast spending time with ol' Mark. At one point, he rips off his putrescent penis during a cheerless masturbation session. Yeah, that was a choice. At best, it's a good example of a questionable decision made by writer/director Andrew Parkinson. All ribbing aside (pun intended?), there is obvious talent behind the camera, but I don't see myself revisiting I, Zombie. Like, ever.
2/13/26
2/10/26
Blood Capsule #368
DEAD OF NIGHT (1977)
Dan Curtis is synonymous with TV horror. As such, I don't think I need to run through his credentials. Seeing his name on the Blu-ray release of this puppy pretty much guaranteed that I was going to add it to my shopping cart, and that's with knowing very little about the film itself. So what is Dead of Night? It's a glorified pilot for a TV series that never came to fruition. Boy, there were a lot of these situations, weren't there? It shouldn't surprise you to learn that this is an anthology. No wrap-around. We dive right in to "Second Chance," which stars Ed Begley Jr. (at his most Ed Begliest, if I may coin an adjective) as a man who restores an antique car. The bygone bucket of bolts serves as a time travel device, which means that this segment isn't terribly spooky. I didn't have any problems with it, but it reads as tremendously dry, especially compared to the other two-thirds of Dead of Night. "No Such Thing as a Vampire" may or may not concern a vampire. I'm sure I'll tell you more about it in the next paragraph.
Apart from the goth-leaning atmosphere, this is where I was beginning to droop a bit. That said, there are excellent performances to be found. This is not the main event, however. "Bobby" is up next. If you see any portion of this picture, make sure it's "Bobby." Technically, this is a spoiler (it's not a big deal; cool your jets), but "Bobby" is a reworking of "The Monkey's Paw." If you've seen Bob Clark's Deathdream, you basically know what to expect. Here, the action centers around a grieving mother who turns to the black arts to bring her son back from beyond the grave. Utterly fantastic, despite the fact that you know exactly what's going to happen. If I had seen Dead of Night on television in 1977, the final frames would have given me nightmares. No question about it. 3.5 feels like a fair rating, considering that we don't gain any real acceleration until the halfway point, roughly speaking. So watch along this Sunday night on CBS.
2/6/26
Blood Capsule #367
TERROR IS A MAN (1959)
This was the first film in the Blood Island series, a loose string of b-movies shot in the Philippines. I own the Blood Island Collection on Blu-ray, but I don't want to commit myself to the rest of the series yet. At the very least, I wanted to review Terror is a Man. This is an interesting little picture co-directed by cult maven Eddie Romero. It's a loose (what a random word to use twice in one paragraph) adaptation of H.G. Wells' The Island of Doctor Moreau. Most people - well, most horror fans - are only familiar with 1932's Island of Lost Souls and maybe the 1996 retread with Marlon Brando. There are others, but I want to keep things as simple as possible. Oddly, the first half of this film reminded me of the '96 version. A shipwrecked man washes ashore on a remote strip of land seemingly populated by natives. He is nursed back to health by a scientist (and by association, the scientist's wife). Eventually, he learns that help is definitely not on the way. What's more, the scientist is busy with disquieting experiments, curious surgeries that involve a panther and a bandaged figure.
Can I just say that I love 1996's The Island of Dr. Moreau? God, it feels good to get that off my chest. It's irrelevant here, but like I said, the story beats mirror each other to a point. Terror is stylish and well-photographed. It's actually better than it has any right to be. The pace is methodical. There is a payoff, and I dug how the creature is slowly revealed. Because of the bandages, you can pretend that you're watching a mummy movie. Who doesn't want to pretend to watch a mummy movie? If it weren't for Hammer's The Mummy from the same year, you could call this the best mummy movie of the 50's. Y'know, if it was about a mummy. I need to abandon this line of thought, don't I? Francis Lederer is strangely sympathetic as Dr. Girard. It's almost as if the script doesn't want to portray him (or anyone, for that matter) as the villain. Now, it should be noted that I'm picky, so I have to deduct points for a dull second act. Still, I recommend checking out Terror is a Man.
Random trivia alert...during a scene where Dr. Not Moreau slices into his patient's larynx, we hear bells on the soundtrack. A pre-title card tells us that the sound of bells denotes sickening imagery and we are cautioned to close our eyes if we are the least bit squeamish. Consider me charmed!
2/5/26
A couple cool things coming out this month...
Greetings and salutations. Apparently, you can't share "shorts" via Blogger (get with the times, YouTube...it's the 90's!), but I can tell you to click HERE. So click.
2/2/26
Blood Capsule #366
THE VOID (2001)
Not to be confused with 2016's The Void. No, this isn't cosmic horror. It's barely horror at all, but I wanted to review it to convince myself that it exists. I mean, I have a faint memory of seeing it on a shelf in the waning years of the video store. Ah, the video store. This is something I would have rented, so I'm surprised that I never did. While it can't be argued that any ties to the genre are tenuous at best, The Void does make use of primordial sci-fi tropes that ruled the day in decades past. We have a mad scientist, a crusty old curmudgeon played by...Malcolm McDowell? What is he doing here? He oversees Filadyne, an evil corporation bent on recklessly smashing particles together in a vain bid to create tiny bombs. Or something. Eva has crunched the numbers, and she believes that McD - er, Dr. Abernathy is on the verge of creating a black hole that could swallow the totality of civilization. So it's a race against time, which I realize doesn't sound too appetizing.
Maybe it does sound appetizing. Maybe you're into incomprehensible, near-cabalistic techno-babble. I'm on record as enjoying pseudo-science (or "movie science"), but I have to admit that The Void pushed me to my limits. The question is, why didn't I hate this flick? For starters, the cast is game. Amanda Tapping is solid as Eva. Apparently, she pursued a career behind the camera, but she's comfortable in front of it (though I'm pretty sure those were stunt boobs, not that I'm complaining). Her relationship with boyfriend Steven is reasonably well-developed. The digital effects are standard for the period. I knew what I was signing up for, so I'm in no position to gripe about CGI. Will I ever watch The Void again? Probably not. Do I wish I could have those 93 minutes back? Nah. I'm sure there are folks on Letterboxd who will try to be cute and tell you to "avoid The Void," but you have seen worse. My VCR has definitely seen worse.
1/31/26
1/29/26
Blood Capsule #365
THE RETURN OF COUNT YORGA (1971)
Yesterday, I reviewed Count Yorga, Vampire. I said I wasn't sure if I would review the sequel, but I guess I'm sure now. Wouldn't it be weird if I still wasn't sure? The Return of Count Yorga was patched together by the same creative team. Robert Quarry is an aristocratic vampire again, although it's not explained how he survived being impaled in the first movie. This is truly a random sequel. At the top, I'll say that I didn't love this follow-up with as much execrated zeal (!?) as I was hoping. I did appreciate the fact that Return attempts to tell a fresh story, as opposed to merely parroting the events of the original. Our setting is an austere institution. Count Yorga presents himself out of thin air (a result of the "Santa Ana winds," we are told) and falls head over wings with Cynthia, a teacher at an orphanage. Exactly thirty minutes into the thing, his concubines rise from the earth and victimize everyone on screen. It's a harrowing scene, and it would probably be the climax of a mediocre fright flick in the modern day. But this isn't the modern day, now is it?
By the way, that's a minor spoiler. It won't have an adverse effect on your viewing experience. There is an hour to go, after all. The second act does lag a bit, but generally speaking, the pace is kept cracking. I dig how the camera backs off of the leads as they try to make sense of the horror that has found them. It's a neat trick (used in the previous film as well) that lends a sense of voyeuristic dread to the exposition. You get the feeling that Count Yorga could be watching them at all hours of the day. Creepy, no? The final stretch adds a few interesting wrinkles to the formula. I definitely had fun with The Return of Count Yorga. Fair or not, it doesn't quite compare to Yorga's incipient sojourn. By the way, check out my prog rock band Incipient Sojourn. We formed a couple of seconds ago, and by George, I think we have a shot at the Billboard charts. In 1971. Ahem...highly recommended to fans of Yorga-based sequels.
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