Blood Capsule #368

DEAD OF NIGHT (1977)

Dan Curtis is synonymous with TV horror.  As such, I don't think I need to run through his credentials.  Seeing his name on the Blu-ray release of this puppy pretty much guaranteed that I was going to add it to my shopping cart, and that's with knowing very little about the film itself.  So what is Dead of Night?  It's a glorified pilot for a TV series that never came to fruition.  Boy, there were a lot of these situations, weren't there?  It shouldn't surprise you to learn that this is an anthology.  No wrap-around.  We dive right in to "Second Chance," which stars Ed Begley Jr. (at his most Ed Begliest, if I may coin an adjective) as a man who restores an antique car.  The bygone bucket of bolts serves as a time travel device, which means that this segment isn't terribly spooky.  I didn't have any problems with it, but it reads as tremendously dry, especially compared to the other two-thirds of Dead of Night.  "No Such Thing as a Vampire" may or may not concern a vampire.  I'm sure I'll tell you more about it in the next paragraph.

Apart from the goth-leaning atmosphere, this is where I was beginning to droop a bit.  That said, there are excellent performances to be found.  This is not the main event, however.  "Bobby" is up next.  If you see any portion of this picture, make sure it's "Bobby."  Technically, this is a spoiler (it's not a big deal; cool your jets), but "Bobby" is a reworking of "The Monkey's Paw."  If you've seen Bob Clark's Deathdream, you basically know what to expect.  Here, the action centers around a grieving mother who turns to the black arts to bring her son back from beyond the grave.  Utterly fantastic, despite the fact that you know exactly what's going to happen.  If I had seen Dead of Night on television in 1977, the final frames would have given me nightmares.  No question about it.  3.5 feels like a fair rating, considering that we don't gain any real acceleration until the halfway point, roughly speaking.  So watch along this Sunday night on CBS.

Blood Capsule #367

TERROR IS A MAN (1959)

This was the first film in the Blood Island series, a loose string of b-movies shot in the Philippines.  I own the Blood Island Collection on Blu-ray, but I don't want to commit myself to the rest of the series yet.  At the very least, I wanted to review Terror is a Man.  This is an interesting little picture co-directed by cult maven Eddie Romero.  It's a loose (what a random word to use twice in one paragraph) adaptation of H.G. Wells' The Island of Doctor Moreau.  Most people - well, most horror fans - are only familiar with 1932's Island of Lost Souls and maybe the 1996 retread with Marlon Brando.  There are others, but I want to keep things as simple as possible.  Oddly, the first half of this film reminded me of the '96 version.  A shipwrecked man washes ashore on a remote strip of land seemingly populated by natives.  He is nursed back to health by a scientist (and by association, the scientist's wife).  Eventually, he learns that help is definitely not on the way.  What's more, the scientist is busy with disquieting experiments, curious surgeries that involve a panther and a bandaged figure.

Can I just say that I love 1996's The Island of Dr. Moreau?  God, it feels good to get that off my chest.  It's irrelevant here, but like I said, the story beats mirror each other to a point.  Terror is stylish and well-photographed.  It's actually better than it has any right to be.  The pace is methodical.  There is a payoff, and I dug how the creature is slowly revealed.  Because of the bandages, you can pretend that you're watching a mummy movie.  Who doesn't want to pretend to watch a mummy movie?  If it weren't for Hammer's The Mummy from the same year, you could call this the best mummy movie of the 50's.  Y'know, if it was about a mummy.  I need to abandon this line of thought, don't I?  Francis Lederer is strangely sympathetic as Dr. Girard.  It's almost as if the script doesn't want to portray him (or anyone, for that matter) as the villain.  Now, it should be noted that I'm picky, so I have to deduct points for a dull second act.  Still, I recommend checking out Terror is a Man.

Random trivia alert...during a scene where Dr. Not Moreau slices into his patient's larynx, we hear bells on the soundtrack.  A pre-title card tells us that the sound of bells denotes sickening imagery and we are cautioned to close our eyes if we are the least bit squeamish.  Consider me charmed!

A couple cool things coming out this month...

Greetings and salutations.  Apparently, you can't share "shorts" via Blogger (get with the times, YouTube...it's the 90's!), but I can tell you to click HERE.  So click.

Blood Capsule #366

THE VOID (2001)

Not to be confused with 2016's The Void.  No, this isn't cosmic horror.  It's barely horror at all, but I wanted to review it to convince myself that it exists.  I mean, I have a faint memory of seeing it on a shelf in the waning years of the video store.  Ah, the video store.  This is something I would have rented, so I'm surprised that I never did.  While it can't be argued that any ties to the genre are tenuous at best, The Void does make use of primordial sci-fi tropes that ruled the day in decades past.  We have a mad scientist, a crusty old curmudgeon played by...Malcolm McDowell?  What is he doing here?  He oversees Filadyne, an evil corporation bent on recklessly smashing particles together in a vain bid to create tiny bombs.  Or something.  Eva has crunched the numbers, and she believes that McD - er, Dr. Abernathy is on the verge of creating a black hole that could swallow the totality of civilization.  So it's a race against time, which I realize doesn't sound too appetizing.

Maybe it does sound appetizing.  Maybe you're into incomprehensible, near-cabalistic techno-babble.  I'm on record as enjoying pseudo-science (or "movie science"), but I have to admit that The Void pushed me to my limits.  The question is, why didn't I hate this flick?  For starters, the cast is game.  Amanda Tapping is solid as Eva.  Apparently, she pursued a career behind the camera, but she's comfortable in front of it (though I'm pretty sure those were stunt boobs, not that I'm complaining).  Her relationship with boyfriend Steven is reasonably well-developed.  The digital effects are standard for the period.  I knew what I was signing up for, so I'm in no position to gripe about CGI.  Will I ever watch The Void again?  Probably not.  Do I wish I could have those 93 minutes back?  Nah.  I'm sure there are folks on Letterboxd who will try to be cute and tell you to "avoid The Void," but you have seen worse.  My VCR has definitely seen worse.

Random video on black metal and monster movies...

Check it out!

Blood Capsule #365

THE RETURN OF COUNT YORGA (1971)

Yesterday, I reviewed Count Yorga, Vampire.  I said I wasn't sure if I would review the sequel, but I guess I'm sure now.  Wouldn't it be weird if I still wasn't sure?  The Return of Count Yorga was patched together by the same creative team.  Robert Quarry is an aristocratic vampire again, although it's not explained how he survived being impaled in the first movie.  This is truly a random sequel.  At the top, I'll say that I didn't love this follow-up with as much execrated zeal (!?) as I was hoping.  I did appreciate the fact that Return attempts to tell a fresh story, as opposed to merely parroting the events of the original.  Our setting is an austere institution.  Count Yorga presents himself out of thin air (a result of the "Santa Ana winds," we are told) and falls head over wings with Cynthia, a teacher at an orphanage.  Exactly thirty minutes into the thing, his concubines rise from the earth and victimize everyone on screen.  It's a harrowing scene, and it would probably be the climax of a mediocre fright flick in the modern day.  But this isn't the modern day, now is it?

By the way, that's a minor spoiler.  It won't have an adverse effect on your viewing experience.  There is an hour to go, after all.  The second act does lag a bit, but generally speaking, the pace is kept cracking.  I dig how the camera backs off of the leads as they try to make sense of the horror that has found them.  It's a neat trick (used in the previous film as well) that lends a sense of voyeuristic dread to the exposition.  You get the feeling that Count Yorga could be watching them at all hours of the day.  Creepy, no?  The final stretch adds a few interesting wrinkles to the formula.  I definitely had fun with The Return of Count Yorga.  Fair or not, it doesn't quite compare to Yorga's incipient sojourn.  By the way, check out my prog rock band Incipient Sojourn.  We formed a couple of seconds ago, and by George, I think we have a shot at the Billboard charts.  In 1971.  Ahem...highly recommended to fans of Yorga-based sequels.

4-0-0?

Yesterday, I wrote Blood Capsule #375...we're closing in on the big 4-0-0.  If you're not aware, I've been YouTubing like crazy lately.  Click HERE to check me out over there.  I'll promote it more later on, but eventually, the idea is to embrace YouTube full time.  I now return you to your regularly scheduled nonsense.

Blood Capsule #364

COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE (1970)

Where has this movie been all my life?  I knew of the title; I knew that Robert Quarry played an aristocratic bloodsucker.  I did not know that Count Yorga, Vampire was ten kinds of awesome in a five-pound bag.  Okay, maybe it's a six-pound bag.  Oddly enough, the film starts in slasher mode.  Following a seance sequence in which Yorga necromances the dead mother of partygoer Donna, a young couple is vamped after making love in a van.  This must be one of Jason Voorhees's favorite horror flicks.  The victims are not murdered, however.  Erica is bedridden and requires blood transfusions.  Her boyfriend is suspicious of the...um, suspicious Yorga, a Bulgarian mystic who dated Donna's mother in the weeks leading up to her passing.  It doesn't take long for our main coterie of characters to reach the grave conclusion that their suspect is, in fact, a handsome mosquito.  Paragraph!

Break!  So this should have been one of my go-to vampire romps for years.  Seriously, how has it eluded my eyeballs for so long?  In nearly every Blood Capsule that I've written, I have made it a point to reference pacing.  In my book (my figurative book, that is), it's of paramount importance if you're reading a review of a movie you haven't seen.  Yorga is paced to perfection.  It's never dull, nor does it feed you information in spastic fits of "plot dumping."  It goes without saying that the acting is engaged from all involved.  If it doesn't go without saying, well, that's why I said it.  There are times when I struggle to elucidate why I enjoy a film so much.  Count Yorga, Vampire is simply enjoyable.  Check back with me in a few years, and it's likely that I'll give it a full 5 Z'Dars.  Before you ask, yes, I do own the sequel.  It remains to be seen whether I review it or not.  Nevertheless, I have a brilliant chunk of random trivia for you.  We very nearly received a showdown between Yorga and Vincent Price's Dr. Phibes.  Holy cricket, how cool would that have been???

Disco!?

The beauty of this website is that it's programmed to update itself (well, I write the reviews...you know what I mean), so it's not going to matter that I'll probably lose power over the weekend.  Random Reviews Incorporated is a nonstop horror disco.  Until it stops.  But that won't be for awhile!

Blood Capsule #363

SLITHIS (1978)

I feel like this review needs a disclaimer of sorts.  Something along the lines of "this movie will not entertain most normal people."  I accidentally slid into Slithis (a.k.a. Spawn of the Slithis), but as it turns out, it's comprised of the stuff, the very physiognomy, that appeals to the horror-centric circuits of my brain.  It has everything I need from a cult classic, regardless of whether or not it qualifies as a cult classic.  Of course, there is a monster.  And it might...might be a fishman.  Soil samples contain traces of radioactivity that might...might be coming from nuclear reactor spillage off the coast of California.  The script mentions that this ooze might...might have seeped into a lagoon.  A lagoon!  To me, that spells "fishman."  I'm taking it and running with it.  It should be noted that Slithis is not terribly concerned with the viewer.  There is a lot of talking, a lot of sedentary "action" that only bogs down the pace.  But!  If the characters are talking about ridiculous pseudo-science (and most of the time, they are), I'm hooked.  Can't help it.

For a no-budget production, the creature design is pretty fantastic.  Apparently, the poor guy in the suit was stuck in rubber on 15-hour shooting days.  I say, give him every Academy Award, even Best Sound Mixing.  Speaking of which, Slithis deserves serious consideration in the category for Best Gore.  After removing objectionable violence to secure a PG rating, producers edited those scenes back into the movie before it was shipped off to theaters.  Ha!  So you see that I have to dig this flick on principle alone.  The cast does make an earnest effort to give implausible lines of dialogue some degree of gravity.  While I can't say that Slithis holds a candle to Humanoids From the Deep or Island of the Fishmen, it certainly ranks above Bog.  And Blood Beach.  It's way better than Blood Beach.  Don't watch Blood Beach.

The German one-sheet.

Matches That Time Forgot #70

Has it really been four years since I posted one of these?  This one was inspired by Hiroshi Tanahashi's recent retirement.  It's also inspired by watching a bunch of random Razor Ramon stuff.  Yep, it's a post-WCW (and pre-WWE) Scott Hall versus a very young Ace.  The Bad Guy takes an upset.  Pretty cool find!

Blood Capsule #362

This review was requested via Patreon.  If you'd like to request a review (and please do show mercy on me), click HERE.

FRANKENSTEIN AND ME (1996)

I feel like I'm the only one who isn't overly enthused about Guillermo Del Toro's Frankenstein.  I only mention it because it seems to lack a key element that I was able to find in Frankenstein and Me.  That key element?  Fun!  Remember fun?  It was what you experienced as a kid when you first saw the Universal horror movies.  I'm sorry, but I can't be frightfully ardent for a 150-minute period piece.  A love story, at that...perish the thought.  This obscure curiosity nails the kind of vibe I was hoping to sluice out of both Del Toro's Frankenstein and the recent stab at The Wolf Man (or as a friend called it, Rabies Dad).  I can't believe it slipped past me in the 90's, but that's why I take requests on occasion.  The cast is outright bizarre.  Burt Reynolds - who could have easily been played by Norm Macdonald - stars as a dreamer.  That's how he is described anyway.  He is the main character's father, and roughly 30 minutes into the film, he dies of sudden heart failure.  So that's a bummer.

Frankenstein and Me tells the story of how a little boy copes with the loss of a loved one.  How is it horror-adjacent, you may ask?  Valid question.  There is a pastiche of nostalgia-tinted daydream sequences that depicts young Earl as the mad doctor in Frankenstein or as the tragic lycanthropic figure in The Wolf Man.  These scenes are lovingly shot.  As a matter of fact, I loved 'em, and I have to imagine that any other monster kid would feel the same way.  Without revealing too much, we also get a secondary arc that deals with a carnival sideshow attraction.  I would have liked Frankenstein and Me to focus a little more on its sci-fi underbelly, but I'm quibbling.  This is an engrossing picture.  I think it premiered on the Disney channel, but I haven't come across any hard evidence to back up such a claim.  Random trivia!  This flick features the screen debut of Ryan Gosling.  Oh my God, you guys, he's so cute.

Click HERE to read my review of 2000's Believe.  Same director.  And strangely, same MPAA rating (PG).

I'm starting a band!?

Check this out!

Blood Capsule #361

MASKED MUTILATOR (1994/2019)

If this is the first review of mine that you've read, you should know that I'm a fan of pro-wrestling.  For me, it occupies the same headspace as a ditzy b-movie.  It just so happens that Masked Mutilator combines schlock with the dubious world of rasslin'.  After a musclebound grappler accidentally kills someone in the ring, he goes to work at a group home for troubled teenagers.  Eventually, bodies begin to pile up.  Ah, but who is behind the mask?  I won't lie; there isn't much mystery behind the killer's identity if you've seen your fair share of psycho-thrillers.  That's not as interesting as this film's production history, however.  Most of Masked Mutilator was cobbled together in 1994.  The cast is fractionally comprised of former wrestlers, including Stampede veteran Brick Bronsky (who also serves as the director).  The story is relayed through a bit of podcast business that was shot in 2019.  These are stumbling blocks, but it's nothing that some careful editing can't cope with.

Look, everything makes sense.  At the end of the day, I liked this flick more than I thought I would.  Don't get me wrong.  It's an uneven slasher with wildly inconsistent acting.  It does help if you're into wrestling.  I'm surprised it's so obscure.  I borrowed the DVD from a friend, and neither one of us knew anything about Masked Mutilator before pressing play.  Your mileage may vary, but I certainly don't regret spending time with it.  For what it's worth, we do get even-handed proportions of gore and nudity.  By the way, this capsule is set for one fall.  Recommended for fans of Santo and WCW merchandise.  And Dusty finishes.  Don't forget Dusty finishes.

March will be...

...Random Dinosaur Month!  Some of the films won't be horror-adjacent (I'm bending my rules a little), but they're all dino-powered.  I thought this was going to be my last theme month, buuuuuut an idea organically developed for April.  So I'll announce that at a later date.  Lots of exciting things happening...!

Blood Capsule #360

DRAINIAC! (2000)

I think this is the fourth Brett Piper film that I've seen.  How many do I need to see before I can claim that he is one of my favorite filmmakers?  Because his stuff rocks.  Drainiac! distills the essence of low-budget splatter and nails the vibe that every young spook-enthused auteur should strive to emulate.  To wit, a third of Drainiac's budget (and please excuse my omission of the title's exclamation point...I'm easily frazzled by weird grammar) was spent on 16mm film stock.  That shows a serious commitment to the craft, seeing as how this thing cost $10,000 to make overall.  I dig this flick for a lot of different reasons.  For starters, it's unique.  I haven't seen many other "haunted house" romps about water spirits, and I'm guessing you haven't either.  Let's get a little more specific.  Julie's dad has just invested in a fixer-upper, a truly dilapidated piece of real estate that is home to an elemental.  What is an elemental, you may ask?  According to Wikipedia, it's a "mythic supernatural being" that corresponds with one of the four basic elements.  H2 oh no!

We don't learn anything about this specific ghost, and normally, that would be a problem.  However, Piper counterbalances this murkiness with a heapin' helpin' of practical creature effects.  All in-camera, all awesome, and all created by Piper himself.  Apparently, he's a big fan of liquids.  Drainiac is full of blood, water, and enough slime to stage an episode of Double Dare.  I haven't mentioned the cast, but everyone performs their task with aplomb.  An honorable mention goes out to Alexandra Boylan for...well, I think she's really pretty.  Hey, I never said that I wasn't vain.  The bottom line is that Drainiac is yet another Brett Piper joint that I'd endorse quicker than Donald Trump endorses the color orange.  If you're reading this capsule on my website, this is where I'll link you to my review of Piper's Arachnia.  If you're reading this capsule in my second book, go read my first book.

Recommended to fans of powdered laundry detergent.

2025 Albums I Missed or Forgot About

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Blood Capsule #359

THE ATOMIC SUBMARINE (1959)

I was today years old when I learned that this film served as the inspiration for the aliens on The Simpsons.  Y'know, Kang and Kodos.  I doubt very seriously that The Atomic Submarine inspired anything else, but it entertained me for a meager 72 minutes.  The storyline is strategically placed around stock footage (a lot of stock footage).  Something is disturbing subs near the North pole.  If you're like me, the expression "disturbing subs" brings to mind images of Subway's new sandwich that comes with herb stuffing and cranberry sauce.  Yech.  No, this involves an underwater flying saucer.  I know what you're going to say.  Yes, 1966's Destination Inner Space utilized a similar gimmick.  Whereas that UFO gave us fishmen, this UFO gives us a Cyclopean critter with objectively hot tentacles.  Wait, did I type that out loud?  Moving on.  Our protagonists approach the strange craft in an - you'll never believe this - atomic submarine.  They even board the saucer via a submersible cloyingly called The Lungfish.

And that's the movie.  You can probably see all of it in your head, right down to the model sets (a.k.a. Timmy's bathtub).  Yet I maintain that it's worth seeking out.  Arthur Franz, Dick Foran, and Brett Halsey are agreeable as the main...um, commander scientists.  The pacing is nimble in spite of the fact that we aren't allowed access to an unearthly lifeform until the hour mark.  This is where I'll recommend The Atomic Submarine to fans of 1963's Atragon.  The latter film offers a cool sub, but that's about it.  I realize that I'm talking to maybe three people at this point.  Hey!  Did you know that this flick was a part of the Criterion collection?  Would it surprise you to know that I watched it on VHS?  Because it shouldn't.  It really, really shouldn't.

The Criterion cover.

Blood Capsule #358

DEMON IN THE BOTTLE (1996)

In my capsule for Frankenstein Reborn!, I noted that Charles Band planned to make four Universal-style monster movies.  Turns out, he had a lot of plans.  Demon in the Bottle was the first in a proposed series of lightweight genre nuggets that would premiere on the Disney Channel.  Yes, there exists a Disney/Full Moon production.  I don't think I need to tell you that the deal fell through before any other films could be brokered.  If you're wondering why you have never heard of Demon in the Bottle, it's because it wasn't released on home video in the United States.  It hasn't been given proper exposure on Blu-ray either, despite the fact that boutique labels are constantly restoring hidden gems (as well as hidden not-gems).  So what's the deal with this thing?  I believe I am on Earth to tell you that Demon in the Bottle is an exceptional slice of "gateway horror."  It's up there with The Gate, in my opinion.  The main monster even looks like something out of The Gate, although Bottle utilizes puppets in lieu of stop-motion wizardry.

This is fantasy/adventure material before it's lowercase horror, but obviously, I had to cover it.  Synopsis mode engage!  Russell and Amanda literally stumble upon a chest of wonders that we know is afflicted with a pirate's curse.  Among the jewels within the case is a genie's lamp.  Kinda.  It doesn't grant wishes, but it does unleash a fiend that reminded me of the Ymir from 20 Million Miles to Earth.  When it's not stalking children, it takes the form of a blue tornado (that had to be one of Charles Band's ideas).  I don't know how much money Disney lost on Demon in the Bottle, but the special effects are actually...low-key incredible???  There is an impressive shipwreck in the first five minutes.  You will notice CGI here and there, but I'm not complaining.  Then you have the creature design, which I clearly loved.  Putting technicalities aside, the script is...well-written???  What's going on here?  This movie rocks.  It's a little bit tragic that you won't be able to add it to your collection anytime soon.  Thankfully, I have an "in" on Plex, so don't worry.  At the very least, I can watch it and tell you about it.