Parts Unknown #96: Smackdown

I'm on the verge of giving up on the WWE. I can usually count on Smackdown, but last night's episode was unbearable. I'm at a loss for words. Well, almost.

PROS

~ The Cody Rhodes/Justin Gabriel match. I can't believe I'm saying this about a five-minute midcard non-title bout, but it was probably the best match of the night. Where are the contenders for the Intercontinental Championship? Has Cody defended the belt against anyone other than Booker T?

~ I repeat myself each week, but here again, I'm curious as to where Drew McIntyre's losing streak is heading. I'll die laughing if he ends up winning the Rumble.

~ I've had my eye on Yoshi Tatsu for awhile now, so I know how much potential he has. I loved his recent makeover. I thought for sure that he was on the cusp of a singles push. While I'm ecstatic to finally see him back on Smackdown (the last time he popped up on the blue brand, he jobbed to a debuting Jinder Mahal), I am positively aghast at the notion of coupling him with Santino. Still, this is more of a pro than a con. If they win the tag titles, so help me God.

CONS

~ A match between Randy Orton and Wade Barrett is advertised. Barrett cuts a promo, Orton attacks him, they tussle for a bit, they are separated by referees...? Did I miss something? It's bad enough that two matches clocked in at under twenty seconds. This is shit that Vince Russo would try to pull. And yet, the brevity of this encounter wasn't the worst part. The worst part was letting The Viper RKO five young, talented fresh faces and bury the tag team division in the process. By the way, The Uso's and Reks/Hawkins had a solid match on NXT this week, not that the WWE cares.

~ Hunico versus Ted DiBiase again??? Quit feeding us the same goddamn show every week. It's no wonder ratings are below sea level.

~ The fart joke. Oh my fucking Christ. If I were Natalya, I'd pack my bags and fly to Orlando. This is one of the best female wrestlers on the planet, and you saddle her with a flatulence gimmick before sending her out to the ring to lose a ten-second (!!!) "battle" with Aksana? There are rumors that both Beth and Natalya are in the doghouse, but sometimes, you need to put the product first. The Diva's division has never been this embarrassing. Ever.

~ I dig Brodus Clay, but he's ready to advance past the squash stage. It's getting tiresome.

Fuck. Something epic better happen on Sunday.