Dead Links #12

What is Lonely Virgil?  It's a Tumblr page devoted to images of Mike Jones.  Wrestling fans will remember Jones as Virgil, Ted DiBiase's silent bodyguard (and part-time whipping boy) during the WWF's Golden Era.  After turning face, he floundered in the midcard before tergiversating to greener, WCW-scented pastures in the mid-90's.  His ring skills were mediocre.  His mic skills were mediocre.  Put plainly, Mike Jones was a speckless, well-kept image of mediocrity.  I can't imagine there being an honest-to-goodness Virgil fan floating around somewhere in the firmament of dyed-in-the-wool marks, that scopious welkin of heartrending geekdom.

You might call it an unfair presumption, but I have proof.  Or rather, the Internet has proof.  Lonely Virgil is overloaded with pictures of Mike Jones sitting alone at his booth.  The booth rarely changes, but the locale varies.  He sets up shop at conventions of all stripes in the hopes of selling autographed polaroids.  As you can surmise by the name of today's Dead Link, he never inveigles many takers.  It's funny, but goddamn, it's depressing.  I was honestly surprised by the volume of submissions.  Jones knows how to travel; he just doesn't have anything to show for it.  I want to give the guy a hug.  And yet, he must shoulder the blame.  I mean, he shouldn't have been so fucking mediocre!  C'mon!

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