Well, it's official; The People's Elbow is more devastating than The Tombstone...

Damien Sandow watches from the sidelines and ponders, "I was scrapped for this?"

It wasn't the worst Wrestlemania that I've seen, but where was the electricity?  Where were those moments I keep hearing about?  The first five minutes of Punk/Undertaker were truly magical, thanks in no small part to the obstreperous New Jersey crowd.  But the rest of the PPV?  Flat as a pancake...with small breasts.

Now, a swerve should never take place just for the sake of having a swerve, but the opening bout between The Shield and Beeker/The Sedated Rattlesnake/Midcard Andre desperately needed a Randy Orton heel turn.  At one point, this guy was poised to outpace John Cena as WWE's brightest superstar.  Where does he go from here?  His character is dwelling in a customary rut, and he hasn't main-evented a meaningful event in eons.  The Big Show spurning a babyface is no big deal because that's what he has been doing for the better part of a year.  At least the right team won.

Can someone explain to me why Ryback was pinned clean?  He was already wavering in the eyes of marks, and this could/should have been his launching pad.  Is a post-match feat of strength supposed to expunge an embarrassing loss from his record?  Speaking of missed opportunities, Dolph Ziggler returned to his hotel room with absolutely nothing.  I'm fine with Team Hell No retaining the tag titles, but when is the McMahon/Helmsley cartel going to pull the trigger on a future headliner?  I swear, WWE is beginning to resemble latter day WCW.

Fandango's debut was surprisingly sloppy.  The match didn't showcase enough of his offense, and the finish was botched.  It goes without saying that Punk/'Taker was a rarefied saving grace.  Still, it wasn't as captivating as the last four "streak" contests, which isn't easy for me to type.  I'm hoping that The Phenom makes a retirement speech tonight on Raw, if I'm being honest.  This will sound batshit crazy, but HHH/Brock was my favorite match on the card.  It was fittingly brutal.  Rock/Cena was...a match.  I can't believe it lasted over 30 minutes.  Oh, and the pre-show Intercontinental strap defense was entirely too short.


PS - Paul Heyman is the modern day equivalent of Bobby Heenan.
PS2 - Bob Backlund fucking rules.

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