6/14/14

Trollhunter


I'm not sure how I missed Trollhunter when it came out in 2010.  I knew it existed, but for whatever reason, I neglected to sit down and watch the damn thing.  It's possible that the "found footage" gimmick acted as an unconscious deterrent.  It's no secret that I have come to sorrow over the handheld technique.  I wouldn't say that I abhor it, despite the calumny contrived by the media.  Don't put stock in spurious articles where I am supposedly quoted verbatim.  I swear, everything I say gets miscolored and ripped out of context.  Would you believe that my publicist is still cumbered with the straits of damage control following my now-infamous appearance on Fox News?

Look, Gretchen Carlson and I did have a heated exchange hypothesizing the commercial viability of Leprechaun: Origins, but I never implied that she deserved to be hatefucked by Hornswoggle.  I...don't remember where I was going with this interpolation.  Oh, Cloverfield!  I liked Cloverfield, and I liked Chronicle.  So there have been instances where storytelling trumped the "found footage" angle.  I found Trollhunter to be an enjoyable excursus, and it made sense that its sequence of human-squashing events was captured by a documentary crew.  The main characters thought they would be interviewing bear poachers, but instead, they stumble into recording the exploits of a different type of big game hunter altogether.

Trollhunter is a product of Norway.  Apparently, you need to be Norwegian to appreciate its sense of humor.  I didn't laugh much, but American audiences didn't recognize the film as an outright comedy.  Conflict is taken seriously.  Despite flat characterizations, the cast performs remarkably well.  It's unfortunate that the only role infused with any real personality is that of the troll hunter himself.  Actually, the trolls offer more spunk than their pink, fleshy co-stars.  The digital effects are convincing enough, and they hold up exceptionally well in daylight.  Hey, what's worse than a prowling Jotnar?  A prowling Jotnar with rabies!  Hey-o!  I made a joke!

The plot holes kept me from ejaculating super hard on my TV screen.  You're telling me that the fine people of Norway are sheltered from the truth because the trolls stay in their own territory?  What?  They're huge!  And we're told that the government has known about them for decades?  How has no one else felt the tremors?  What about airplanes?  What about satellite images?  What about longitudinal pressure waves that involve compression and rarefaction?!?!?  Bah.  This is going to be a sketchy segue, but I highly recommend Trollhunter.  I told you to prepare for something sketchy.  Robert Z'Dar says, "Slightly better than Troll 2."

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