THE RETURN OF SWAMP THING (1989)
If you'll indulge me for a moment (it's my site, so you have no choice), I've been on a Swamp Thing kick as of late. I own plenty of the comic books, but for some unknown reason, Wes Craven's Swamp Thing eluded my radar for quite some time. You'll be happy to know that I've rectified my infraction. And just in time, too. I fell into a VHS copy of The Return of Swamp Thing, a "fast food" property dive if ever there was one. It's a sci-fi superhero excursion, a monster mash, and a campy comedy all rolled into one. In terms of tone, it couldn't be any more different from its predecessor. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that it takes place outside of DC's homespun universe. But I do know better. To be specific, I know that Louis Jourdan reprises his role as the nefarious Dr. Arcane. That's funny; I could have sworn that he was straight up murdered by Swamp Thing. Whatever.
Heather Locklear stars as Abby, Arcane's eco-friendly daughter. Her performance won her a Razzie, but in all fairness, the film benefits from her bubbly disposition. This thing feels a lot like The Toxic Avenger Part II or III. If it wasn't directed by Jim Wynorski, I would probably compare it to Toxic Crusaders. I kid, I kid...Jim stays within the circumference of a PG-13 rating. The violence is tame, but on the upside, we get scads of creature effects. Dr. Arcane's failed experiments could have been lifted from a Basket Case sequel. Actually, they look better than that. I can't believe that a major studio trusted Jim effing Wynorski with a beefy budget. It's unfortunate that the climax comes and goes without much fanfare. I don't want to seem ungrateful. Return is low-key amazing. Or maybe it's high-key competent (it's the cinematic equivalent of a functioning alcoholic). Alas, apart from the odd fistfight, this vegan burger never lets its hair down, so to speak.
Nevermind the nitpicking. Go out of your way to see The Return of Swamp Thing. Recommended to fans of Bog and photosynthesis.
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