PREHYSTERIA! 2 (1994)
So the main brat in this film was played by Kevin Connors. Does that name ring a bell? It shouldn't. He was also the brat in Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead. And aside from a supporting role in Pleasantville, that was the extent of his Hollywood career. How positively random. Here, he is Brendan, a spoiled brat who we're supposed to get behind. Sorry, I couldn't do it. I knew this was going to be a substandard sequel when it was revealed that Brendan had a bedroom full of expensive toys and games that he didn't play with. Yeah, he's one of those kids. He encounters bullies within the first 15 minutes, and you know what? I was rooting for the bullies. Jennifer Harte isn't quite as exacerbating as the less fortunate pal, but this is her only screen credit. EDITOR'S NOTE: I was going to write a joke that involved dinosaurs and sexual assault, but...um, I thought better of it. Maybe this is the joke. Pretend these sentences never happened.
The (off-screen) family from the first movie leaves their precious dino-cargo in the hands of their gardener. Of course, the little beasties are abducted and wind up in the auspices of ol' Brendan. The dinosaurs are still cute, but I'll level with you. Prehysteria! 2 is stupid. The comedy is dumber, the pratfalls are harder to believe (apparently, the dinos are fluent in English), and we don't even get a decent antagonist. The closest we come to a true villain is a "governess" who acts as a geriatric tyrant. Blegh. On the upside, Charles Band's Moonbeam imprint was still able to siphon sweet coin from Paramount, so at the very least, the production values are clean. All of the special effects remain impressive. However, the mini-dinos are very nearly relegated to "B" plot status. You don't put mini-dinos in your "B" plot. If you're wondering, yes, I'm going to finish the trilogy. Realistically, I don't know how many more words I can write about these movies, but we'll find out together.
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