ALIENATOR (1989)
Full disclosure! I saw this flick dissected on Best of the Worst and felt compelled to own it. I have the new episode (the return of the dreaded Wheel) open in a separate tab. Frankly, I just want to watch it instead of writing this Excedrin-incited stricture. Half of you are probably not familiar with "BotW," but that's your problem. Leave me out of your life. What the hell is Alienator? It's an insufferable mishmash of RoboCop and The Terminator. Oh, and Critters on account of an alien bounty hunter. The cast is peppered with cult icons, but neither Joseph Pilato nor Robert Quarry can emancipate this rubble.
Man, I need to revisit Count Yorga, Vampire and tap Day of the Dead while I'm at it. That's what Alienator did to me, dear readers; it made me think of other things, better things. I was foolish to postulate that Jan-Michael Vincent talking about sectors and executions would cheer me up. Truth be told, there isn't much b-mileage here. Gore is non-existent. Nudity? Nope. In a Fred Olen Ray film! That guy spread so much smut around video stores, his girlfriends had to pay late fees if they thought they were pregnant. That was a layered joke. Let it marinate. So yeah, Alienator is a flunkee. For your information, Teagan Clive (the platinum-haired heavy) played BimboCop in Vice Academy Part 2. You're welcome.
No comments:
Post a Comment