Rassle Inn #14

It has been a sugary while since I penned a wrestling column.  What's new?  Boy, I tell you.  I was watching that one program - the one with the evocative title - and fuck howdy, the maneuvers!  The way that the muscular wrestler grappled with his game opponent, why, I nearly spilled my expired Tab cola directly into my vaginal cavity.  Okay, okay...enough malarkey.  I have yet to watch this week's episode of NXT, but I did measure out my weekly dose of Dynamite.  And?  It was supreme.  In fact, it was one of the best episodes in recent memory.

An individual show's quality isn't reflected in the ratings until the following week.  I expect the number to rise, preferably above 900,000.  This week's ratings?  A meager 757,000.  Dynamite wasn't that bad last Wednesday, was it?  Contrariwise!  If anything, AEW should have generated buzz coming off of a blistering main event that saw Thunder Rosa and Britt Baker tear the roof off the place in an unsanctioned match bereft (bereft, I say) of rules.  It was even a double juicer.  If pro-wrestling doesn't start to bring in new viewers, I'm genuinely concerned about the future of the business.  In America, that is.

We can't look to WWE for inspiration.  For every step they take forward, they take two steps back with either nonsensical Charles Band flummery or basic, everyday plot holes.  At least we have Rhea Ripley and Io Shirai.  Mind you, my penis isn't playing favorites.  I'm just as psyched to see fucking WALTER battle Tommaso Ciampa.  Going back to the ladies for a moment, could I comment on the pros and cons of a bloody unsanctioned match?  No?  Oh.

I will anyway, but I'll try to keep it short.  The garbage match.  The backyard match.  The Light Tube Texas Shit Death match.  Should men or women be having these contests on a regular basis?  Because they are, and I can see both sides of the argument.  If a match is cool, it's cool.  Rosa/Baker was effin' sweet.  My only request would be to hold off on the next ultra-violent main event.  These gushers should be held for special occasions (like to blow off a feud, for instance).  Goddamn, at a certain point, that level of hard-hitting frenzy won't mean anything.

The focus of a fight shouldn't be the presentation of weapons and the careful arrangement of furniture.  Personally, if I was sparring with someone I hated, I wouldn't grandstand.  However, I would definitely try to use the tombstone piledriver.