Rassle Inn #26

It's hard for me to write a truly topical wrestling column.  It would pose a challenge to just about anyone.  See, in the wrestling world, headlines are ephemeral.  Things change on the quick, and unless you're live streaming, you won't be able to make relevant comments.  I mean, I guess I could affix a laptop to my person (dear God, I'm imagining a "body horror" eyesore involving rivets and...well, blood), but fuck that noise.  Do people still say that?  Anyway, Cody Rhodes cut an interesting promo on this week's Dynamite.  He cited CM Punk's infamous "pipe bomb" promo to paint himself as the bona fide voice of the voiceless.  He's the one who went to Japan, he's the one who perambulated from promotion to promotion, he's the one who built the forbidden door...

...but he's not a heel.  Honestly, I don't want to jump in on the "heel or babyface" debate.  I don't need to know his intentions or his ultimate plans, should they exist.  I want to critique his promo.  Cody has always seemed comfortable on the mic.  He has his detractors, but I've always rallied 'round his promos.  On Wednesday, he delivered another impactful masterstroke.  For the most part.  There was a word that made me cringe.  Every once in awhile, I understand that insider terms are going to breeze in, especially in the modern age.  But for the love of Koko B. Ware's kaleidoscopic ring attire, be careful!  Cody explicitly said that he was not going to turn heel.

Ugh.  He could just as easily say, "Hope you enjoy this next match.  So-and-so is going over."  Why not?  They are both examples of wrestling jargon.  Where does Cody draw the line when it comes to shoptalk?  The fans may know that it's a predetermined pastime, but fans also appreciate it when the wrestlers take kayfabe seriously.  I don't want to hear shit about heels or babyfaces when I'm watching Dynamite.  Make me believe that the angle is real.  Fucking sell!

Personally, I think that Cody is a full-blown heel.  You didn't ask, but there you have it.  I would offer WWE observations, but I haven't watched Raw or Smackdown in full since Christ did a dead-on impersonation of a zombie.  Was that a pun?  Was it???