Parts Unknown #31: Raw

The Elimination Chamber is just a couple of weeks away. Is Vinnie Mac doing a good job of hyping up his next PPV? Sorta.


~ Holy shit. It's Vinnie Mac! I missed him. He didn't do much (he announced an announcement, for crying out loud), but I was still glad to see him. It was like catching up with an old friend. For all intents and purposes, it seems that Vince has retired his evil, autocratic alter ego, and in my humble opinion, that's a wise move. There is no sense in rehashing an insipid formula.

~ I dig the concept behind CM Punk's latest scheme. That is, to maim each participant in the elimination chamber. It was executed well if you don't count the "match" between David Otunga and Sheamus (more on that later).

~ The John Morrison/Michael McGillicutty match. Mr. Perfect Jr. has loads of potential. With Husky Harris on the sidelines, it should be interesting to see how they handle this kid.

~ Jerry Lawler's promo. He may not be a heel anymore, but he's still entertaining. Kudos to The Miz for bringing up The King's feud with Bret Hart's parents. I got a kick out of that.

~ The Alberto Del Rio/Santino Marella match. Was it stupid? Yeah, but it was fun.

~ The main event. This is the second time that I've seen John Cena wrestle CM Punk. Both matches were dynamic, as I gather that these two performers bring out the best in each other. Punk won't allow Cena to go through the motions, and Cena is the ideal babyface to play off of Punk's self-righteous persona. It's a damn shame that they probably won't be facing each other at Wrestlemania.


~ Randy Orton being a dick and breaking CM Punk's nose.

~ R-Truth is expendable. It's a scientific fact. He's annoying enough when he isn't botching left and right (I laughed out loud when the crowd booed him for mistaking Milwaukee for Green Bay). At one point during his match with Mason Ryan, he gave up and decided to stop selling. Way to put over the rookie, Mr. Killings. Why in the flying fuck is he in the elimination chamber? Oh, I forgot. He has a stereotypical gimmick that appeals to minorities and people who want to be minorities.

~ Another 6-Diva tag match? Jesus. How about sacking the girls who contribute absolutely nothing to the product?

~ Why was King Sheamus obliterated by Mark "Irrelevant" Henry? What a random segment. I never want to see a cool entrance interrupted by Josh Matthews ever again.

So there you have it. For the record, I don't think that the mysterious "2-21-11" vignettes are signaling the return of The Undertaker. Taker will return, but he doesn't need a vignette to do it. If I'm wrong, then this is one of the worst ideas in the history of the WWE.

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