Parts Unknown #34: Raw

Sorry for the delay, folks. Riddle me this. Have you ever spotted Triple H in a black trenchcoat? Me neither. Man, this episode of Raw is going to piss off so many people. Before I get to that, let's see what else transpired...

PROS

~ I never thought that a Cena promo would make it to the "pros" section of this column, but his one-sided rap battle responded to The Rock's scorching comments in a way that benefited his character. By reverting back to his thug gimmick, he gave this quasi-feud a much-needed dose of depth. This is no longer a simplistic black-and-white issue. I sincerely hope that Cena tangles with The Rock at some point because we may have witnessed the germination of a smart, intriguing angle. Please don't fuck this up, Vince.

~ The succinct CM Punk/John Morrison match. I liked the fact that they were both selling injuries. These two need to wrestle at a PPV.

~ This might shock the three loyal readers of Parts Unknown, but I enjoyed the silent confrontation between Terra Ryzing and "Mean" Mark Callous. They have six weeks to expound upon a program and tell a story before Wrestlemania. Words are not necessary when a rivalry is in its infancy. Next week, I'm sure that Triple H will explain why he wants to face Taker at WWE's answer to the Super Bowl. Personally, I found Monday night's aphonic encounter to be refreshing. Now, the vignettes were fucking dumb. That's where I agree with the majority of wrestling fans.

CONS

~ Am I the only one who thought that Kofi Kingston oversold the brutal beating he received at the hands of Alberto Del Rio?

~ The promos. There were too many of them. This show could have used a couple more matches.

~ At this point, The Bella Twins are my least favorite Diva's on the roster. They can't talk, they can't work in the ring, and they can't get over. Their match against Eve Torres and Gail Kim was dreadful.

~ Why the fuckety-fuck did Sheamus lose to Mark Henry? Is there sound reasoning behind Henry's push? Because it doesn't seem like it.

~ I realize that Jerry "The King" Lawler gave Michael Cole the green light, but the bit about Lawler's deceased mother was disgusting. She died last week! Cole can generate heat without stooping so low. The comment about Gorilla Monsoon was borderline unacceptable, but at least his corpse has had an ample amount of time to rot. That said, it's still not as distasteful as the custody angle that TNA is running with.

~ Tag teams? What are those?

I'm curious to see what happens next week. I'm also curious as to why I keep typing.