Parts Unknown #87: Raw

Introductions are overrated.

PROS

~ As much as I don't care about Cena's beef with The Awesome Truth, their opening banter succeeded in setting up a crowd-pleasing main event.

~ The Ziggler/Morrison match. They had impeccable timing. I don't know if I understand the outcome, though. Is JoMo in line for a United States Title opportunity? If so, where does that leave Zack Ryder? Will we see a three-way dance at Survivor Series? As per usual, the booking is baffling, but I'll bite my lip as long as Iced Z takes home the strap in his hometown. Curse these Daedalean cryptograms!

~ CM Punk putting Alberto Del Rio in his place. I like The Mexican Aristocrat, but Punk is dead-on. The most interesting thing about the WWE Champion is his ring announcer. This is why I was so confounded when Del Rio won the Royal Rumble. He wasn't ready for a major push, and honestly, I still don't buy him as a top contender (much less a champion).

~ Kevin Nash's promo. Dumb storyline, but Diesel made it seem somewhat intriguing. By the way, I'm calling him Diesel from here on out. Thought you should know.

~ The main event. Woo, woo, woo!

CONS

~ No Brodus Clay.

~ The match between Del Rio and Kofi Kingston was far too short. Is Kofi paying for the sins of his tag team partner? There are hundreds of ways to handle this situation. Vince (or whomever it may concern) has chosen the most damaging way to address the fact that Evan is a no-show...not at all! Seriously? This is what they came up with? To simply bury Air Boom and abase the Tag Team Championship? Fuck off.

~ Swagger and Santino again? Screen time is precious. Please use it wisely. There is a huge fucking PPV around the bend, and we're watching Kurt Angle Jr. bully an Italian Eric Young. Why not have The Oddities participate in a wet t-shirt contest? The judges can be Battle Kat, T.L. Hopper and Nathan Jones.

~ Kelly Kelly's Maxim cover bullshit. Isn't Beth Pheonix supposed to be feuding with Eve?

I have a tension headache.