Parts Unknown #85: Raw

A slight improvement over last week.

PROS

~ Kicking things off with a Rock promo is never a bad idea. I'll admit to being a tad disgusted with this "via satellite" bullshit (it's just a reminder that this an ephemeral flash in the dark, an impulsive fling over spring break), but it's better than nothing.

~ Ricardo Rodriguez's run-in. It lead to a great segment where CM Punk tortured a broken down Del Rio into granting him a title shot via the Anaconda Vice. Sweet.

~ Some...I repeat, some of the Muppet jokes were funny.

~ The match between Air Boom and Rhodes/Barrett. It was highly energetic, and I loved Bourne's DDT counter to Barrett's Wasteland. It's a fucking shame that Air Boom's hot streak has come to an abrupt end (more on that later).

~ The lengthy Big Show/Del Rio bout. I will defend Show's wrestling abilities until I'm blue in the face. The big lug has improved tenfold since his WWF debut as Paul Wight.

~ Zack Ryder's robust win over Dolph Ziggler. I'm digging where this is heading.

~ As depressing as it may be, the Wrestlemania rematch between John Cena and The Miz was superior to their so-called "main event" on the grandest stage of them all.

CONS

~ The Diva Costume Battle Royal. Vince, the audible booing should clue you in. Hire female wrestlers instead of models who can barely run the ropes.

~ Evan, you fucking idiot. Why would you put your first title reign in jeopardy? If you don't know what I'm referring to, Evan "Air" Bourne has been suspended for violating WWE's Wellness Policy. This will likely result in Air Boom dropping their titles (possibly as soon as the Smackdown tapings). Dude, I don't care what you did. You know the rules. What really bends my spoon is the fact that your transgression will impede Kofi Kingston's momentum. Hopefully, you will use your 30-day vacation to tweak your character and refine your mic skills. Shape up. And stop smiling all of the goddamn time!

~ The Santino spit finish. Mother of God.

Brodus Clay is debuting again next week. The kid has talent, so I'm optimistic. He should be jobbing to Yoshi Tatsu on NXT in no time.