Blood Capsule #28


Dear fucking God.  This is one of the worst films I've seen as curator of Random Reviews Incorporated.  It stars a lazy, antiseptic John Saxon as a mad scientist who injects vagabonds with "superhuman" serum.  Naturally, there are uncomely side effects.  The professor keeps four of his mutated freaks within reach and stalks the hallways of a desolate campus.  First of all, what is this guy's deal?  His toxic vaccine of sorts doesn't work, and I'm certain that he isn't on a quest to rule the world.  Most highbrow lunatics at least try to advance medicine, but that doesn't appeal to...um, Dr. Saxon.  Yeah, I'm not going to look up character names.  Hellmaster is barely worth a grammatically correct capsule review.

The special effects are presentable.  That's the only affirmative amenity I can muster.  I'm pretty sure that I fell asleep during the grueling third act.  Hey, if you dig endless scenes of exasperating nobodies prancing about in the dark, rent this shit yesterday.  The dialogue is tepid, the leads are dull and the plot trips over itself ad infinitum.  I almost felt bad for the cast.  If you ever meet John Saxon at a convention, ask him to sign a copy of Hellmaster.  I fucking dare you.

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