Matches That Time Forgot #40

These days, I have more columns to tend to, so I'm not able to pump out Matches That Time Forgot on a weekly basis. Ergo, I try to make each one monumental. Prodigious. Majestic. Life-changing? In keeping with those lofty goals, I present a dreadful match between King Kong Bundy and Duke "The Dumpster" Droese circa 1994. Diesel had just won the World Heavyweight Championship in an 8-second squash over Bob Backlund. Notice how the commentators (including Gorilla "fucking" Monsoon) emphasize the convocation of The New Generation. This much-maligned era was in full swing, so every scintilla of marketing hoopla played up the fact that all of the titleholders were young guns. Naturally, today's bout finds Bundy (an old gun) pulverizing Droese (a not-so-old gun). The irony is ear-splitting.

But I get it. Droese was just midcard material, and he never seemed to ingratiate the crowd. Meanwhile, Bundy could still go. He should have been booked as a legitimate threat to the top babyfaces, but that push went to King Mabel. Oy. I wasn't kidding, by the way; this match is truly dreadful. Every move is telegraphed, and the most technical piece of wrestling we see is an elbow drop. Enjoy!