That poor cake! Today is the 28th of September, a day that shall live in infamy, for it is...my birthday. Birthdays become spiritually taxing as you age. That has been my experience anyway. Like, what's the point of keeping count? Why don't we include the nine months we spend in the womb? True, it's a day that celebrates our birth, but if someone asks your age, you don't factor those nine months into the equation. And why do we stop throwing parties at putt-putt courses and bowling alleys? Life as an adult is so much more grim and exasperating. If anything, zany carousing should be encouraged when you get older.
You'll have to pardon my sophomoric deliberations. I get this way when I age. Urg. The 28th of September has remodeled itself into being a speed bump in my favorite season. Speaking of all things autumnal, I will NOT be reviewing an entire goddamn franchise to ring in Halloween. I will, however, review one more title that appears on the Shudder streaming service. The esteemed, resplendent Michael Lake will choose that title. You won a contest, sir. Use your power for the forces of good.
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