KISS: ZOMBIES (#3, Jan 2020)
I don't know how many words I can muster for this one (I'll be charitable and describe it as "light reading material"), but I'll give it a go. How did this zombie trend start in comics? I'm familiar with Marvel Zombies, but was it just some tweaker who innocuously opined, "What if they were, like, zombies?" Because it seems that every intellectual property has been zombified, be it through graphic novels (KISS) or action figures (WWE superstars). I don't want to come off as a crotchety crosspatch. To tell you the truth, I'm fucking down! This book is dumber than an elevator chimney, but aside from the obvious, I can't find any stringent faults.
The third issue of KISS: Zombies was a random purchase, so I haven't read the rest of the series. It called to me from a longbox at a hobby store that I discovered yesterday. Apparently, the place has been there for the better part of a year. Where the fuck have I been? In any event, we're following a group of teenagers - oh, I should mention that I'm beginning a synopsis...I'm not following teenagers in my personal life - as they seek out the greatest rock band in the world Why? Well, they can help extricate Earth from a zombie apocalypse. Somehow. It's so goddamn goofy. We are told that these undead imps are drawn to sound, so why are the main characters enlisting the services of a musical ensemble?
Whatever. I can swallow the possibility that the sketchy premise is bulwarked in other issues. Common sense is NOT the name of the game. I had plenty of fun flipping through this psycho circus. How can you take it seriously? The members of KISS themselves are illustrated to be ageless molds of muscle and sinew. The Demon is the only one given any demonstrable personality. Then again, with the exception of a single text callout (a throwaway line concerning groupies), the dialogue amongst the cover ghouls is interchangeable. Ace and Peter are sorely missed. I'm sorry, but Tommy Thayer is about as charismatic as the bile currently digesting black forest ham in my small intestine.
Geez, you probably don't believe that I enjoyed this comic, but I promise that I did. The artwork is bold and detail-intensive (to a point). For a quick read, there is a suitable supply of gore-garnished action. And everything is beautifully cheesy. I am here to tell you, I can see KISS: Zombies playing out in live-action form on a Zenith television circa 1976. I can practically taste Paul Stanley's stilted performance. That's the shit!
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