Panels From Beyond the Grave #36

CREEPSHOW (#2, Oct. 2022)

I would say that Creepshow is my favorite intellectual property of all time.  As a brand, I love everything it has to offer.  In my humble opinion, all types of merchandise should be emblazoned with the film's logo.  I'm talking shirts, buttons, coffee mugs, mousepads, condoms, penny-farthings...if it's an object that can be bought and sold, it should be stamped with The Creep's hypothetical seal of approval.  Creepshow comic books?  Hey, there's an idea!  It only took 42 everloving years, but we finally got the four-color version of the self-contained horror anthology.  NOTE: I'm aware of the original Creepshow comic.  Read my review here.

So how does it stack up?  To be perfectly honest, I'm a bit disenchanted with the final product.  It kills me to say it, but the two stories on display in this, the second issue, don't pass muster.  First of all, why only two stories?  It's a negligible quibble, but the EC titles that supposedly influenced Creepshow were surfeited with sardonic scares.  To cut straight to the chase, the stories themselves feel insipid and skeletal.  I guess I'll start with the lead-off yarn, an ambiguous little chiller (more like liquid coolant) called "The Gorgahmorahh Tree."  This may require a paragraph break.

A prepubescent teenager (I don't know; her age is a mystery) decides to stand up to her abusive parents with the help of a demonic red spruce tree.  Actually, the tree type eludes me.  I just like the word "spruce."  In any event, it's never clear if the girl is possessed by the Satanic sapling or if she is playing the role of firebrand by taking advantage of an extraordinary situation.  It reads as though chunks are missing from the exposition.  The pithy dialogue doesn't help.  On top of all that, the ending arrives before you can get a handle on its forward momentum and The Creep is forced to deliver an anticlimactic epilogue.  It was probably a common juniper, now that I think about it.

"Creator's Rites" doesn't fare much better.  The action is rushed, and visually, we don't grab a solid perspective on the money shot.  What good is copious gore if the camera angle is compromised?  Maybe it's me.  There is a silver lining, however.  The artwork strikes a perfect balance between realistic and cartoonish, which is something that neither the TV series nor the sequels can claim.  Listen, I dig the florid colors.  This is a good-looking comic book.  I hate the fact that I'm shitting on the content, but it is what it is.  How's that for a cop-out cliché?  Oh, and the cover is a random image that doesn't appear in the pages.  Blah.