2/7/12

Blood Capsule #5


JAWS OF SATAN (1981)

What do you get when you cross Jaws with The Exorcist? Easy! You get...a "killer snake" movie? Did this script ferment in a plashet of yeast-addled urine in the center of an opium den? Is the script even real? Because I'm still not convinced that I just watched a film about a Satanic cobra. You read that right. A small town (these things never happen in medium-sized towns) is blitzed by a rash of snake bites, and it seems that the censurable serpents are all slithering in the same direction. Father Farrow, a case-hardened preacher, believes that this rattlesnake rebellion could be a harbinger of evil. To his credit, he is skeptical at first, but after probing his family history, he realizes that he is being stalked by Lucifer himself.

Why Lucifer found it necessary to harass an insular whistle-stop under the guise of a snake is anyone's best guess. My guess? He needs a fucking hobby. Naturally, Jaws of Satan is a harmless, harebrained b-flick. I quite liked it. Fritz Weaver (more commonly known as Professor Stanley in Creepshow) holds up his end of the bargain as our reverent lead. The exposition is meatier than I expected, although the anticlimactic finale left a bitter taste in my mouth. It was either that or the stale croutons.

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