Vanity Scare #5

RUE MORGUE (#121, April 2012)

- This year marks the 30th anniversary of Poltergeist, which means you'll be seeing a lot of retrospectives floating around in the coming weeks that hoof it through trodden terraces of well-documented anecdotes.  How many different ways can you approach the specious "curse" that plagues this franchise?  How long can you speculate over the identity of the person who occupied the director's chair before you lose reader interest?  Hell, I lost interest in this paragraph three sentences ago.  So does the cover story measure up?  I'll get to it later.  First, the cover...simple and classy.  Imbued in a smoky periwinkle that percolates from the nihility of the black background.  They're here, bitches!

- I always look forward to the editor's note in any magazine.  Here, Dave Alexander opines on the revelry of drive-in nostalgia.  Contrary to popular belief, drive-in theaters are not dead yet.  Endangered, sure, but they have a chance to outlive the South African Pussy-Eating Condor (there is a reason why those damn birds should never be domesticated, and unfortunately, my ex-wife learned the hard way).

- One of the comic books that I reviewed under the Panels From Beyond the Grave rubric was Dark Horse's Creepy relaunch.  It was quite enjoyable, so I was thrilled to find out that Eerie (a sister publication) will be given the same treatment.  EC wasn't the only company pumping out whimsical horror anthologies, you know.

- Michael Doyle's Poltergeist spread was fresh and informative.  The interviews with cast and crew members alike relayed germane nuggets of anamnesis without regurgitating common knowledge.  For all intents and purposes, I gather that directorial duties were split down the middle, even if the film bears an unmistakable Spielberg glow.  It's sad to hear that Zelda Rubinstein was, shall we say, cantankerous in her old age.  Illness and depression took their toll on a unique, superlative actress.

- David Konow and Chris Poggiali take a loving look at Crown International Pictures.  I dug their assessments of Nightmare in Wax (fun flick), Stanley and The Crater Lake Monster among others.  Crown may have been a cheap knock-off factory, but compared to modern day equivalents (Asylum anyone?), it ruled the roost.

- I'm not big on Ministry, but Trevor Tuminski's sit-down consultation with Al Jourgensen was entertaining.  Fix has piqued my curiosity.

- Last Chance Lance convinced me to rent The Puppet Monster Massacre.  A crossbreed of Team America and Meet the Feebles?  Where do I sign up?

- Bowen's Basement delivers once again.  And that's coming from someone who doesn't give a courtesy fuck about The Boogens.  Divine poster, but the movie itself is more mundane than a church luncheon held at The National Institute of Cardboard Boxes.

- The Classic Cut continues the trend of spotlighting belletristic works of art.  Hey, Beowulf is relatively gnarly, but this column smacks of pretense.  Are they trying to prove how intellectual they are?  Because I'd be just as happy with a blurb on Slime City or Houseboat Horror.  But I digress.

Go ahead and buy this issue.

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