4/2/12

Youth movement? What youth movement?


The snarky title notwithstanding, I enjoyed Wrestlemania 28. I truly witnessed the end of an era. Sure, the two major champions are up-and-comers, but Vince has devalued the titles to such a degree, that both main events were grudge matches. There was no gold on the line. Why? Because Rock, Cena, HHH and 'Taker are "above" it. So is Jericho. The most memorable moments from last night's grandiose event involved veteran stars (namely from the Attitude Era). This is a problem. At present, the WWE doesn't have a long-term future. If all four headliners were chasing the WWE Championship (and they should be when we are told on a weekly basis that it's "the biggest prize in sports entertainment"), then CM Punk retaining the belt would actually mean something.

You'll have to forgive my circuitous tangent. I have mixed emotions regarding the $65 promenade that dazzled/razzled me with emotional highs (Hell in a Cell) and MTV-style pageantry (if you're going to rap over pre-recorded audio, have the common decency to squelch the vocal tracks...Jesus, you might as well lip-synch). First off, how great was Shawn Michaels? He probably won't get enough credit for his performance, but the guy was in tears by the end of the match. Best guest referee ever? I think so. The Undertaker looked badass. I loved the spiked entrance attire and the subtle mohawk. If he retires tonight, you couldn't ask for a better swan song. Oh, and I guess Triple H was alright.

I was caught off-guard by the 18-second curtain jerker, but it makes sense. Four epic, protracted matches would have been overkill. Plus, this will go a long way in developing Daniel Bryan's heel persona. Punk/Jericho was rock solid. Honestly, it wasn't the show-stealer that fans assumed it would be. The rest of WM28? Ugh. Aside from a surprising victory for Kane, the undercard was nondescript. I completely disagree with the Intercontinental Championship changing hands. Give The Big Show a win, but don't give him the title. He doesn't need it. The Diva's tag match was embarrassing. The crowd couldn't care less, and for shit's sake, before you rope a celebrity into the picture, make sure their ribs aren't cracked. Numskulls.

The one thing I appreciated about Rock/Cena is the deliberate pace of their encounter. It was an "old school" brawl. I'm talking 1987...bear hugs, headlocks, the traditional arm check ("Gee, I wonder if he'll snap out of it on the third try!"). The finish was bullshit, though. Rocky is supposed to pass the torch. Y'know, like Andre passed the torch to Hogan? Like Hogan passed the torch to The Rock? The current roster is second-rate, or at least that's what Vince wants casual fans to think. Fuck, I don't know. I do plan on tuning into Raw, but I'm still not reviewing it. Parts Unknown will be paying a visit to the set of Nitro pretty soon.

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