Blood Capsule #17


God, what a weird series. I'm a fervent Cronenberg fan, but I had difficulties warming up to Scanners. In a curious twist of ordinance, I enjoyed the desultory fluke sequels The New Order and The Takeover quite a bit. Perhaps "fluke" is the wrong word. They are genuinely entertaining, and I prefer them both to the original (to make a long story short, I found the first film to be haughty and standoffish, even for the purveyor of Canadian "body horror"). Scanner Cop takes vein-dashing telesthesia to the next logical step of its evolution...law enforcement! Obviously, this franchise had to cash in on the hullabaloo rabble-roused by the success of Maniac Cop 3: Badge of Silence and Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow.

The plot is full of fucking shit. A good scanner is enlisted to ferret out a bad scanner. That's all you need to know. The script doesn't play by its own rules (Ephemera withdrawal is said to cause dementia; it's irreversible, unless you reverse it), the villain's motive is flaccid and there aren't nearly enough exploding heads. I will say that I was taken aback by Daniel Quinn's powerhouse performance. It was almost too convincing for this movie. Wilted forehead demons and a random monster notwithstanding (seriously, where in the rosemary-scented fuck did that come from?), the special effects leave much to be desired. Eh, I've been misguided before, but personally, I would eschew Scanner Cop. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pop in Scanner Cop II.

Just kidding. I'm about to watch Amanda's Ass 5: The Fuckening.

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